The summer broke on the last day before summer break.

Hot, dry winds which had been oppressing us since a fortnight paved way for the much welcomed light showers.

Cool breeze followed the intervals of short-lived drizzle for the rest of the day. Even a vitriolic, moody, irritable and aesthetically impaired of a girl like me had to admit.

The weather was freaking awesome.

Large stretches of time inturrupted the cool installments of fine rain. And as much as I loved those installments, their timing was always bad.

Like right now, for example, when Kian and I were looking for an auto in a visibly empty auto stand.

"Hey wait!" I yelled at a passing auto-rickshaw.

The driver didn't even bother slowing down.

"It's of no use, I guess they're on a strike or something," Kian grumbled dejectedly.

I turned to face him and was met with a pair of puffed, bloodshot eyes on a visibly tired face, probably like mine. His shoulders were slumped from carrying the weight of his bag since the past forty-five minutes while his t-shirt was sprayed with imprints of almost microscopic raindrops.

'Do you really have to check him out every at every opportunity you get?' my inner voice sneered.
Ignoring her, I addressed the person in question, "so what do we do now?"

He shrugged, "we walk."

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's three kilometers from here!"

Giving me a pointed stare, he deadpanned, "do you have a better idea?"

I thought of calling my mother but then I remembered that she had something today, she'd still be in her office. My father was on a work trip and Aarna was at my grandmother's place.

Worst day to have an empty house.

"Can't your parents pick us up?"

He shook his head.

"Well then," I said, "guess we'll walk."

And so we started walking, too tired to talk. The unwelcome yet familiar silence enveloped us. For even if we weren't tired, we wouldn't bother with a conversation.

But I don't think it is solely my fault anymore.

Still, today was not a good day for confrontations. To be honest, no day is.

Halfway through, we came across a couple of cycle rickshaws, those which are manually pulled. As I met Kian's eyes a silent understaning passed over his face and we stopped in front it. The owner acknowledged us with a nod.

I told him our address.

"Sixty rupees," he grunted, dropping his cigarrate after taking a last drag.

Not even bothering to bargain, we quickly climbed the rickshaw and settled down. The drizzling stopped as the rickshaw puller started paddling.

Like I said, always a bad timing.

"So..." I said, in a half hearted attempt at a conversation, "what's your plan for the holidays?"

"Nothing much." He shrugged, "just coaching and stuff. Oh and I'm inviting everyone over at my place next week."

"Right...have you asked all of them?"

"Yep, and they've all agreed. Radhika's mother wanted to talk to mine first but at the end, she also got permission to come."

"That's nice," I awkwardly mumbled. It was not as if I didn't know that. Rads had called me to excitedly yell about the get together at Kian's place, completely clueless to the fact that I had not been invited. Heck, I didn't even know he was hosting one.

The richshaw parked in front of our tower and we climbed out after paying. The small exchange of words was not enough to keep him talking.

And frankly, I didn't care.

I had to endure another long two minutes with that insensitive jerk before the lift doors binged open again.

Practically running out of the metal box of misery, I unlocked my front door and slammed it shut after stepping in, without acknowledging him.

"I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!"

Letting out a tired sigh, I collapsed on my unmade bed. Too exhaused, both physically and emotionally, to reheat dinner. I had no desire to eat, forget getting started on homework, and I absolutely despised the way I was feeling.

Hurt.

Bloody love struck.

And most of all,

Infuriatingly abandoned.

Now, I wasn't some desperate, attention-seeking asswipe. But like any other normal Homo sapien, I craved the feeling of inclusiveness. I enjoyed being part of a group, basked in the sense of familiarity with its members. So the knowledge of being left out of any group activity, however insignificant like this one, stung.

'Ugh! Get over him Ash!' my subconscious chided me.

'Yes,' I thought to myself, 'I would get over him.'

With renewed dignity and indifference, I collected my sprawled-out limbs from the face down position on my bed. Dragging my feet to the kitchen, I heated the leftover lunch and settled to watch Mean Girls for the gazzillionth time.

Sadly though, in between stuffing my mouth with fried rice and laughing at Damien's stereotypical gayness, a nagging question still lingered at the back of my mind.

Why didn't he invite me....

{[]}

The next couple of days went by in a blur. 'Wings - the coaching centre' had given us an oh-so-generous week-long summer break. They were even thoughtful enough to provide us with send off gifts in the form of study guides and a CD titled, 'How to crack NEET'.

I had switched my ferocious nerd-mode on and had already finished the botany guide. Right now, I was staring at the screen of my laptop.

'Do you want to be a doctor?' the peculiar person, wearing a tie and a freakish smile, asked his audience, a.k.a me.

'Do you want to win?'

"Oh come to the point already," I mumbled, fast fowarding the video to the relevant parts.

Fifteen minuted later, I had a concrete, step-by-step action plan ready. Pinning it to my notice board, I stepped back to observe it.

1. Write down your entire syllabus for the enterance exam and divide it into four parts. These four parts are your quarterly goals.

2. Further divide them into monthly and weekly goals. Prepare your weekly topics within six days.

3. Reserve your sundays for repetition, which is perhaps the most important step. On every third sunday, repeat all the topics you've already prepared.

4. Do this for a year until all your quarterly goals are achieved. Three weeks before the exam, start solving as many sample papers as possible.

5. Give the exam, get your admission, go to your dream college.

"Yes Ashiana, this is what matters," my mother's voice said behind me. I hadn't even heard her enter, but I wasn't really startled.

"Your friends won't pay your bills," she continued, "we might, but you would not like that right? This," she gestured to the list, "is what will eventually make you happy."

I couldn't help but smile, this woman never missed anything.

"Right, yes I know."

"Good." She squeezed my shoulders, kissing my forehead, "now come on, dinner's ready."

{[]}

In the days that followed my resolve, I hardly left my study table. When I did, it was only to eat, drink, do other daily chores and watch an hour of television, for small doses of daily and weekly entertainment was also necessary.

Ironically, however, that one hour felt an even bigger chore than the others.

On friday, an unexpected guest rang the bell.

"Kian?"

"Hey," he hoarsly said, grinning his usual toothy grin. In both his hands there were large, two litre sprite bottles. "Can I come in?"

Realising I was staring, I quickly stepped aside. Walking past me, he placed the bottles on the centre table.

"So umm...my fridge is full," he began, "do you think your mother would mind if I use yours?"

I had my priorities straight, yes, I had stopped caring for petty things like useless get-togethers. However, I couldn't help but feel my chest tighten.

"No, no, she'd be happy to help," I almost spit out, hoping my forced smile would hide the venom in my words.

As he grinned gratefully and hurried to the kitchen with the soft drinks, I tried to carefully  formulate my next words. Unfortunately, they still came out wrong.

"So what exactly would you guys do tomorrow?"

Kian nearly banged his head on a shelf in his haste to stand up. Swinging the refrigirator door shut, he fixed me with an incredulous stare.

"You guys?" he said, shocked, "you're not coming?"

What. The.

"What? No...I'm not invited right?" I cringed at my words, so desperate, yuck.

To my surprise, he started laughing, so much so that he had to grip the dining table to prevent himself from doubling over.

"God Ash!" He chortled, "please don't tell me you've been believing that this entire time."

"I have..." my voice was meek, my misunderstanding glaring at my face, ofcourse I was invited...

There must've been something in my tone for he sobered up quickly. "Ashiana, I..." He ran his hands through his hair, "I'm really sorry. I..." He stopped, suddenly looking around searchingly.

"They're not at home, my parents. Go on," I urged.

He smiled, "okay. Well, it's just...I thought it was obvious. You're my neighbour, the first and best friend I've made here...I know we haven't been talking much since...you know...but I didn't realise I had to extend you a formal invitation, it was a given.

"Right, I just...I was being stupid."

"No you weren't." He sighed, "I was the one...you know what? Come over at four thirty tomorrow, then we'll talk. About this, like, a heart to heart."

Oh wow! My heart flipped.

"Oh! Okay."

"Okay, yeah...goodnight then, I'll see you tomorrow."

After he left, I opened my what's app for the first time in days. Ignoring the unread messages, I quickly typed my own.

Hey Alia! I'm sorry I can't make it to our movie night tomorrow :( How about next sunday?

{[]}

The following afternoon I was standing in front of the 'Dhawans' apartment, balancing two heavy sprite bottles and a casserole container filled with pasta, something which ma had insisted me to take.

A few minutes of struggling later, I managed to ring the bell with my chin. Kanishk answered the door.

"Hi Ka..." my sentence was left hanging as he practically snached the bottles from me and thundered to the kitchen. I was left to close the door.

Slowly walking through their drawing room, I entered the kitchen and found the older Dhawan brother pouring himself a drink....an alcoholic drink, with sprite instead of normal soda.

Deciding that it was none of my business, I placed the casserole on the slab, "my mother sent this."

"Yeah whatever, Kian's in his room," he said, pointing to a door before slamming shut the one in front of it.

Rolling my eyes, I knocked on the door he had indicated.

"It's open!" came the muffled response from a familiar voice.

Entering the room, I spotted Kian hunching over his study table, probably solving his study guide. He stopped once he saw me and smiled.

"Hi...you're early."

I frowned, "didn't you ask me to be here by four thirty?"

"It's four thirty? Wow, I didn't even notice," he flushed.

"Clearly," I scanned the name of the book, "doing math can make time fly."

"I'm sensing you're making fun of me," he drawled, a lazy grin tugging on his lips.

"Mm hmm..." I took in my surroundings. Kian's room was simple yet striking, like him. Pale blue walls with posters of what looked like different galaxies, a square notice board overflowing with test schedules, photographs and pamphlets. His single bed was pushed against the wall opposite his study table, with a courtainless  window overlooking it, leaving a fair amount of space to walk.

This was the second time I had been to his room. Before today it was the one time we had a physics revision session in here, when my notorious cousins who had been visiting, had occupied mine.

Apart from some additions on the notice board, it had not changed a bit.

"Are you done inspecting every surface?"

I snapped out of my daze and scowled at him, "I was just looking, geez!" When he just smirked, I changed the topic, "so...Kanishk was acting strange today..."

Immediately, his relaxed expression tightened. "Did he do anything wrong?"

"No...not if you count the drinking...how come your parents allow it?"

Kian let out an angry breath, "oh no they don't, they're just not home enough to notice their depleting whisky supplies."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, just some shit, it doesn't matter." He sighed, "besides, I need to talk to you about something else."

"What?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"Us," he said, proving me right.

It was as if the words were jinxed, as after he said that, there was silence. It wasn't awkward or anything...but it was loud. Kian broke it first.

"Let me start by saying I'm sorry." He slid down on his chair again and gestured me to sit as well. Once I was settled on his bed, he continued, "after you...rejected...me, I kind of started ignoring you. Again, not your fault but mine. Although, in my defence, it is hard to get over a rejection, especially from a girl I'm crazy about."

I couldn't help it, a shy smile did surface on my face, it's not every day a guy confesses stuff like this. Yet, I had no response for him, which was good because he was far from finished.

"I talked to Karan about it, you know, about how to deal with a stupid, inconvenient crush on you. Naturally, Karan, not being your biggest fan at the time, adviced me against it. Aditya, on the other hand, told me that no one could predict your reaction. That I should go for it, citing all the 'YOLO' and 'no regrets' philosophies. Then, when he nudged me in the food court, when we were celebrating the end of class eleventh, I decided to go for it. And it was the best decision I could've made at that point."

Now I was confused. He must've deduced that from my expression, for he hastily launched into an explanation.

"I say that because you saying 'no' was an eye opener of sorts. I mean, yes it was quite bad for my confidence, but then again, you did say that you like me as well. Your reasons, though, they made me clear out  my priorities. This is not the time to date, I need to focus on getting somewhere, establishing my life. And so...I don't know how to say this...but I guess I'm thankful that you rejected me, not because I don't like you, but because I don't like you enough to compromise my life for you." He took a deep breath, "so yeah...that's all...say something I'm freaking out," he finished, chuckling nervously.

I smiled, "what can I say? You lifted a weight off my shoulders Kian which I hadn't even realised was present there. I was worried all this time that I had runied our friendship but now I know that's not the case. I'm glad you sorted out your priorities, I'm also really flattered," I said, winking, "but most of all, I'm relieved that we both can agree that our...feelings..." I internally cringed as I uttered that overly cheesy word, but it was essential afterall, "that our feelings are not worth gambling our futures over."

"Exactly! So...are we normal?" he asked, tetatively.

"Yep."

We both grinned at that did an elaborate handshake. Right at that moment, the doorbell rang again.

"Everyone's here I guess." Kian went to answer the door.

A minute later, the gleeful selves of Aditya, Aryan, Radhika and Vivaan flooded into Kian's room. Radhika winked as she saw me already present there, earning an eye roll.

For the next four hours we chatted, laughed and relaxed. In the midst of a truth and dare game, Aditya suddenly came up with an interesting idea.

"How about we go somewhere after our twelfth boards?"

"Like where? GIP?" Kian said.

"Noo..." Aditya looked at all of us, "guys, haven't you all seen roadtrip movies? We'll all be eighteen next year, it'll be fun to do something like that. Not a roadtrip necessarily, but a...I don't know, adventure trip?"

"You know that actually sounds cool," Vivaan remarked, in a somewhat dreamy voice. "But none of our parents would allow that."

"Yeah," Radhika agreed, "but I guess they'll loosen up after we turn eighteen...I mean, there's no harm in hoping."

"Exactly!" Adi exclaimed. "What about you Aryan? Ash?"

"I'm in, you know I won't give up an opportunity of having fun."

They all looked at me expectantly.

"It sounds fun..." I weakly said.

"Yessss!" Aryan jumped, followed by Aditya, "so it's decided then? We'll go?"

As everyone choroused with an exhasperated 'yeah' I realised that this is what school life is all about. Studying your butt off for writing exams is important, but collecting these precious moments with goofy friends, getting exited about plans which might not come true and just plain laughing like hooligans, that is something I'd cherish for life.

Maybe Kian realised that too, because when he turned to smile at me, it seemed to convey a simple message.

Yep Ash, life is good.

{[]}

Hello fellow muggles!

This took a month! I'm sorry, I'm a terrible, terrible person. If it helps, then I can promise more frequent updates from now on so YAY!

And yeah, I have nothing else to say, if you liked this chapter then please,

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