March 25, 1996

It's been a while since I've had anything worth writing about here. The holidays passed in a blur of gifts and family dinners that no one wanted to be present at but everyone felt obligated to attend. Once it was over the world just continued to roll along like everything hadn't completely changed. 

For a while, one day just bled into another. I existed, numb and uncaring, floating through the days. My therapist would probably say I'm depressed but who knows. I quit seeing her in January. She can't help me with what I need to do now. I couldn't bear to part with my little diary though. I've become quite attached to it. When you're friendless and living in self-imposed isolation you learn to value any form of communication no matter how pathetic. 

 Maybe things are finally starting to look up though. My parent's divorce is right around the corner from being finalized. A strange thing to be happy about I know but the truth is strange sometimes. I can't handle anymore of this coldness and anger. The judge wants to talk to me about who I'd like to live with. I already know just what I'll say when I get the chance. I'm so ready for it to be settled. I will never get used to being the rope in my parent's tug of war. The constant back and forth between houses is to much.

This week is my Dad's turn. He picked me up from school today and we stopped by the diner on the way home. While we were there I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen since she left for college. She's moving back home and will be working not too far from here. Maybe I'll drop in and see her one day. I've really missed talking to Denise.

"What do you mean you've seen her too?" Cameron asked incredulously.  Melanie took a deep breath before speaking. She seemed to be searching for just the right words. "Greg and I both. We saw her. The weekend she died."

Andra had played this conversation out in her head a million times. Of all the different scenarios she had imagined this one hadn't been in the cards. 

Melanie was sitting quietly almost solemnly waiting for their reaction. "I don't even know where to start with that," Andra said. 

"You can start by answering my question first. Have you seen her?" 

Andra felt Cameron's hand close around hers across the table giving it a squeeze. She squeezed back but couldn't look at him. If she looked at him now she was afraid of what her face might give away.

"Yes. We've seen her."

"Both of you?" 

"Yeah," Andra answered. Melanie didn't seem to be surprised at this confirmation. If Andra was reading her correctly she expected it. "Where? Just Once?"

 "I've seen her twice. Once in a dream and once at my house." Andra answered quietly. "Cameron has seen Savannah in her house. She attacked him."

"She attacked you?" Melanie asked in astonishment addressing Cameron directly for the first time since they met. 

He nodded lifting the side of his shirt just high enough for Melanie to see where the long scratches ended at the bottom of his rib cage. "She didn't seem too happy to see us." He said sarcastically. "Its not just that either. Andra's been seeing her since we began talking about Savannah's murder. It's like she knew somehow."

"What could you have possibly needed from that house?" She asked them both.

Cameron looked over at Andra and they locked eyes for a moment before Andra leaned over and began rummaging through her bag. She knew she had it as soon as her fingers closed around the soft leather. The little book always seemed to be a few degrees cooler than everything else around it. Freeing it from the tangle of junk at the bottom of her bag she brought it out and placed it gently in the center of the table.

"Savannah's diary. Where did you find it?"

"We didn't find it. She showed it to me the night she appeared at my house. I saw Savannah in her room. She was writing in it when her mom came home and called her for dinner. Before she went downstairs I watched her hide the diary behind a baseboard. I was in my bed but  I saw the whole thing like I was there."

"Savannah showed you all this?" Andra nodded. "I can't believe you actually saw her and Gloria. Man, Gloria was a piece of work," Melanie said shaking her head. "She and Savannah had a really tense relationship and were always butting heads. She was closer to Donald and when he died she withdrew completely." Melanie stared off into the distance as if she were replaying it all in her head.

Andra nudged the book with her finger. "So you knew about this?" 

Melanie turned toward her looking a little dazed still caught somewhere between the present and the past. "Yeah. I knew about it. She carried it with her everywhere. When she died I told the police about it but it never turned up. I hadn't even thought about her hiding it in the wall space. I should have. She used to hide everything she didn't want Gloria finding there. Anyway once they ruled her death an accident it sort of became a moot point. Have you read it?"

"I'm still working my way through it. There's a lot to cover. So much of it is just ramblings or random thoughts. There are excerpts and entries though that point to something else going on. There's enough here to suggest that Savannah had secrets."

"And you don't have any idea what she knew?"

"No, I don't and no offense," Andra said hesitantly "but even if I did I'm not sure I would tell you."

Melanie's eyes tightened and her face took on the same stony expression that Andra and Cameron had seen earlier today. "You still think I could have hurt her?" 

"No actually I don't but I have no idea what you might know and there's your husband to take into account."

Andra could see that Melanie wasn't happy with this explanation. Andra didn't care. This situation had the potential to become even more dangerous for herself and Cameron if either Melanie or Greg had killed Savannah or knew who did.  

"I truly don't know what happened to her," Melanie said pleading with them to believe her. 

"But somebody does.'" Cameron told her. "What do you know about the night she died? Maybe a fresh set of eyes would help." 

Melanie sat quietly for a moment looking back and forth between the two of them. "Ok." She said quietly. "First off the stories that people tell are all wrong. She wasn't drunk. Savannah never drank. We'd been to a ton of parties together and she never touched the stuff. Not even once. Her mom's grandad had been a heavy drinker and died from cirrhosis of the liver when she was twelve. That's not something you forget. "

 "How did Savannah end up at that party? We've seen the pictures she wasn't exactly a social butterfly there at the end."

"That's an understatement," Melanie said smirking. "She quit volleyball the summer before. Just walked in one day and told the coach she was done. No one could believe it. She and I talked about everything but not this. When she started shutting down it happened fast. All she would say is that she was fine. When I tried to talk to her she just reassured me that she was dealing with it. If that was the case she wasn't dealing with it well. Greg was the first to go. She broke up with him a week after she quit the team."

" She broke up with him?" Andra asked.

"Yep," Melanie replied. "But that's not in the town gossip is it?"

Andra shook her head. "We heard they had been on again/off again for a while."

Andra didn't mention Sheriff Ramirez by name. She didn't know if there would be any backlash if it came out that he had shared case files with them but  Conrad seemed like a nice man. He had trusted them when most adults wouldn't have. She didn't want him to regret it.

"That part is true." Melanie continued. "But when they split that last time it stuck. The other thing the stories don't say is that she knew Greg and I were together."

"She knew you were together?" Andra asked incredulously.

"Yeah, she did," Melanie said smiling bitterly. "Like I said she was my best friend. I was the last person that she cut off and to be honest it wasn't even like that. She just started drifting away from me. Before I knew it she was gone." When her eyes met Andra's she could see the tears glistening in them.

"So you told her that you and Greg were together?"

"No. She guessed. I was too much of a coward to ever tell her. I was scared of how she would react. She knew us both so well and she had seen the signs. She caught me after school one day and asked me about it. I couldn't lie to her. I just broke down. She hugged me and told me that she loved both of us and that she wasn't mad. She said that she and Greg never would have worked out and that she wanted us to be happy. I had been so afraid she would be angry but she was just so kind."

"Savannah sounds like an incredible person," Cameron said.

"She was," Melanie said nodding.

"So wait if she knew about you and Greg then why were they fighting at the party that night?" Andra asked.

"Oh, that," Melanie said wrinkling her nose as if she had tasted something bad. "That was so embarrassing. They were fighting because he was drunk and I mean sloppy drunk. Greg had brought both of us that night and he was supposed to be our ride home."

"All of you were over sixteen though right? Couldn't someone else have driven?" Cameron asked

"They could have if Greg hadn't been acting like a belligerent moron. Look you have to understand something. My husband loves me and I know that. I also know that I was his second choice. The consolation prize if you will." She said the last sarcastically but Andra could see the effort it was costing her to admit this painful truth.

 "He loves me but he was in love with her. The night she died she rode with Greg and me to the bluffs. We thought at first when she agreed to come with us that maybe she was getting better or at the very least coming out on the other side of whatever had been torturing her. It wasn't until we got to the party that Savannah told us that she was meeting someone there. Greg was crushed. I think he had still held out hope that maybe Savannah was coming back to him."

"You don't have any idea who she was meeting?" Andra asked. The excitement that fluttered inside of her was barely contained. This was the first they were hearing of a meeting that night. That brought into play the possibility of a new suspect.

"Not a clue. Greg was convinced that it was a guy and by the time Savannah got back, he was wasted and angry. They got into a huge argument. Greg accused Savannah of cheating on him. She lost it and was screaming at him that he was acting like an idiot and that they weren't even together. I had to step in because it was starting to escalate. I sent her home with Jennifer Lewis. I've always regretted that. It was the last time I ever saw Savannah alive."

"There's no way you could have known that though," Andra said quietly.

"It doesn't matter," Melanie replied. "She was my best friend. I should have stayed with her."

The tears that had been threatening to spill over for the last few moments finally made an appearance. They slowly traced long thin trails down Melanie's cheeks as she stared miserably down at the table. Andra hated making her relive this but she had to know what had happened.

"Greg said in a police interview that he had basically coerced Savannah into leaving the house that night."

"He did kind of. He just left out the part about her meeting someone. In the beginning, we had all spent a lot of time just trying to get her out of the house. We eventually gave up. She had made it pretty clear that she had no interest in any of it. That weekend was different though.

There were several of us standing in the hallway before lunch and someone Jennifer I think it was brought up the party. She was asking if Greg and I were going and he said we would talk about it. I hadn't even realized she was standing there until she spoke.

When Savannah asked us about the party we were all shocked. I don't think she had said a word to any of us in a couple of months. Greg repeated what Jennifer had told us but she didn't say anything just nodded. He asked Savannah if she was going and she said she'd probably skip it. There was something about the way she said it though. We both heard it.  There was a hesitance in her voice like she was still unsure.

That was all the excuse Greg needed. He did everything but beg her to come. Even told her we could all go out to dinner together his treat at this little Italian place we all loved. In the end, she agreed."

"Why didn't you tell the police about Savannah's meeting?" Andra asked.

"She swore both of us to secrecy. You have to understand," she said the pain in her voice as sharp as a razor blade. "We all grew up together. There was a time we were inseparable. Greg and I both loved her so much. She was my sister and she was his soulmate. How could we deny her the one thing she had asked of us, especially with her gone. It felt like a betrayal. We were just kids and we had no idea how close Greg came to taking the fall for her death until later. By the time we figured it out there was nothing for it. If he had backtracked on his story at that point they would have taken him in. So he did the only thing he could do and stuck to the script."

"He had an alibi right?" Andra asked.

Melanie snorted a laugh at that but there was no humor in it. "Oh yeah. He was half past drunk and headed toward blitzed by the time Savannah left with Jennifer. His best friend Jason helped me get him into the passenger seat of his car and then agreed to follow me to my house. He was passed out by the time we got there. Jason and I managed to get him upstairs and into my room. I took the couch. He didn't wake up until well after noon the next day. To get out of the house, he would have had to go right by me. I didn't sleep that night and I can tell you for one hundred percent certain he never moved."

"No one tried to call Savannah?"

"We did. When she didn't answer we figured she was still angry. It wasn't exactly rare for her to ignore us at that point."

 "You said both of you had seen Savannah after she died. When did that happen?"

"That same weekend. On Sunday night.  I had been watching tv with my mom. I went to get ready for bed around eight. I saw her as soon as I walked into the room. The light was off but the moon was full and it cast plenty of light. There was no doubt that it was her.

 She was outside my window with one hand pressed to the glass. I couldn't understand why she didn't just come inside. There was the saddest expression on her face and there was something not right about her eyes. They were to blue or something. She was standing in a small patch of moonlight and in the glow her skin looked transparent and shimmery. I remember going to the movies a few years later with a friend of mine and having to leave in the middle. The movie was about vampires but they all sparkled in the sunlight. She was the first thing I thought of.

"We just stood there like that the two of us. Just staring at each other with only the glass separating us. I had so many questions but I was scared to breathe much less speak."

 "I was still trying to process what I was seeing when the phone in the living room rang. It was loud in the quiet house and I jumped. I turned toward the sound and when I turned back she was gone.

"It was Greg on the phone. He was calling to ask if I had heard from Savannah but he sounded strange. I told him I hadn't and asked if he was ok. He said he had woken from a dead sleep to someone calling his name. When he sat up he saw her standing at the foot of his bed. He tried to talk to her but she never answered she just stared at him. After a minute she just faded away.

I talked to Greg for a while and managed to partially convince him that he had been dreaming. When he hung up I went to check my window thinking maybe I had been hallucinating or something myself. Deep down I think I knew what it meant. I just didn't want to believe it. There was one lone handprint fading away on the opposite side of the glass. I quit trying to explain it away after that. I remember running my fingers over it. The section of glass that held her handprint was as cold as ice."