September 6, 1995

So here we are. I guess I probably should have started with Dear Diary or something cheesy like that, but it seems ridiculous. It's not like I'm doing this for fun anyway and this stupid little book is far from dear to me.

My therapist says I need to write down my feelings to help me better understand my anger issues. I already know why I'm angry. It's everyone else that doesn't get it. I don't need some shrink reading between the lines of this journal and picking apart my every thought and feeling in search of some deeper meaning that just doesn't exist. 

There's nothing my parents or their self-righteous doctors can do to make it better. I've seen the people around me for what they are and it hurts more than they can imagine.

What do you do when you step through the looking glass and realize the world you thought you knew doesn't exist? You don't know how to move forward. You can't go back. Everything I thought I knew was a lie.

You can't just pretend that everything is ok once you know the truth. You can't just "be yourself" anymore because the truth creates a new version of you. So now that I'm no longer part of the lie everyone's decided I'm part of the problem.

I've been isolated, pushed out, and forced into some kind of weird psychiatric exile. They think by forcing me to believe I'm crazy it will absolve them of their sins. It doesn't work that way.

I peeked behind the curtain and I don't like what I've seen. I like even less what that says about who I am as a person. Was I blind for so long? Was I so shallow? So oblivious? So self-absorbed that I didn't see the truth right in front of me?

I guess I must have been. Maybe it's not too late to make it right though. I can change things. I don't need to be that person anymore. I don't have to be a part of the lie. I can expose it instead.

There is nothing left for me now but to watch and wait. So that's what I'll do. For now.

Andra's voice trailed off into an uneasy silence as she finished reading laying the open book down on the bed beside her. The angry tenor of Savannah's words seemed surreal in comparison to the sounds of chattering birds, laughing children, and the roar of a distant lawnmower floating in on the breeze through the open window. Outside these walls, an entirely normal world existed that Andra felt like she was no longer a part of.

Cameron sat in front of her his head resting inches from Andra's knee where she sat perched on the bed. His eyes were closed and his arms lay loosely crossed over his broad chest. The afternoon sunlight that filtered softly through the curtains behind them bathed the room in its warm glow. It danced across the tanned skin of Cameron's arms and his upturned face. Andra watched him intently waiting for any type of response. His entire posture screamed nonchalance but the tightness around his eyes and the clenched jaw were sure signs that he was more anxious than he let on.

 Andra had intended to read the first few entries with Cameron the night before. That plan had been upended however when her mom had appeared in the doorway and politely but firmly sent Cameron home. Before leaving Cameron had promised to stop by the next day.

 Their first order of business when he arrived this afternoon had been to share their respective stories. Andra went first finding it hard to look at him as she spoke.  She told him everything starting with Savannah appearing in her room and ending with the connection between Savannah and Denise. She left out nothing. Cameron sat listening quietly nodding from time to time but not interrupting. When she was finished Cameron took a moment to collect himself before launching into his own tale. He told her how he had gone to pick up Rob and about entering the house. At the description of his near miss with Savannah Andra had let out an audible gasp. She felt so much embarrassment and shame for what she had put him through. 

"How much have you read so far?" He asked his voice sounding loud in the silence. The harshness of it jarred Andra from her thoughts. She flipped through the first few pages of the diary before answering. "Just a few more entries past this. I'm marking the ones that seem especially telling. So far there's nothing new though. Savannah's obviously angry but she doesn't explain why. Whatever cards she was holding she was playing them pretty close to the vest."

"Okay," Cameron said. "So what's the plan?"

Andra flinched a little at that. She should have known Cameron would cut right to the chase. "We have to finish the diary for starters. From there I'd like to interview a few witnesses from the party and then we go to the house itself. " Andra dropped her eyes to her hands unable to meet Cameron's gaze as she finished. If he was bothered by Andra's mention of the house, he gave no evidence of it. She knew all too well his thoughts on going back to Pinewood Drive. 

"Alright," he said nodding. "If we're doing this on the anniversary then that leaves us what, five days to finish everything?"

"Seven," Andra answered quickly.

"Seven?" Cameron asked in confusion. "But you said-"

"I know.  August 23rd is the anniversary of the last time Savannah was seen alive. That's five days from now. If the autopsy report is correct though the 25th is when she died.'

Cameron nodded thoughtfully. "I get what you're saying but will two days make that much of a difference?"

Andra tensed but tried her best to hide her discomfort. She had been anticipating this particular question and until the moment that she heard the lie tumble from her lips she hadn't known how she would answer. "It just seems like a nice way to honor her memory. Besides, it gives us a couple of extra days to bring her story full circle."

"I guess," Cameron said shrugging. "She's already left me something to remember her by," He said flexing his back uncomfortably. I'll leave the timing up to you. I just want it done."

Inwardly Andra breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't push the issue any further. She didn't want Cameron angry with her again but this was non-negotiable. It had to be on the anniversary of Savannah's actual death.

"Ok then." She said unfolding herself from the edge of the bed. "It's settled. We go on the 25th." Starting across the room to her desk she could already feel her thoughts kicking into a higher gear. Andra enjoyed this feeling. She thrived off of it. There was no room for fear or second guesses when she felt like this. In her mind, she was already making a mental checklist of things that needed to be done between now and then.

Grabbing her favorite pen and a notebook she sat down on the floor across from Cameron. She gracefully crossed her legs and propped the notebook on one knee. Tearing a sheet of paper loose from the metal spirals she passed it to him.

"What is this?"

"The name and location of our first interview."

"You can't be serious! Melanie Harlow! How did you get her to agree to this?"

Andra felt the blood beginning to warm her cheeks and she could only imagine the blush that must be rising there.

"First of all it's Melanie Billings now and she hasn't exactly agreed yet. I figured if we're serious about this then who better to talk to than Savannah's best friend."

"What do you mean she hasn't exactly agreed? You haven't talked to her?"

Andra felt her stomach drop as she sheepishly glanced up at Cameron gauging his expression. She was aware she was pushing the limits with him. 

"No I haven't spoken with her but hear me out."

"Hear you out! Really? What's the plan here An? Are we just supposed to roll up on her house unannounced? How exactly does that conversation go? Hey Melanie! You don't know us but we know you. Your dead best friend sent us to say hi. By the way, we heard you got married. Congratulations! How is Savannah's ex-boyfriend doing anyway?"

As Cameron wrapped up his little tirade he ran a hand over his face shaking his head slowly. The muscle in his jaw clenched and unclenched again. It was a sign of stress that Andra had seen so often in the last forty-eight hours that she was afraid it was becoming a tic. He leaned back looking up at the ceiling. His face had gone an uncomfortable shade of pink that put Andra in mind of a man on the verge of a stroke.

"I understand you're upset with me." She said taking his hand in hers. "I get it. I would be angry too. You don't even have to get out of the car. I'll handle everything. She'll talk to me. I know she will. I'm sure of it."

Cameron pulled her closer. With his free hand, he brushed the hair away from her face letting his fingers trail softly along her jawline as he did so. She turned her face into his touch closing her eyes and allowing herself to feel the warm electricity that his cool skin left in its wake. For the millionth time this week, she found herself wishing that none of this had ever happened. That she had never seen that horrible place and that she and Cameron could just be here in this moment with none of the chaos between them.

"Andra you don't understand. I'm not mad at you." He said softly. "Frustrated yeah but mainly I'm just scared. Putting an end to the thing in that house is the only way I have of making you safe. That's the only reason I agreed to this. These plans just keep getting crazier though and I'm starting to wonder where it ends. You said something yesterday when you were recording, about your being chosen. That terrifies me An because I think you're right. This thing with your mom only cements it for me. I'm just wondering exactly how much of this was planned out for us. Maybe before you even knew Savannah existed."

For the first time since he arrived today, she saw a crack in the facade he had created. His worry and fear for her were evident.

"I've been thinking that too." She answered quietly. "At this point though I'm not even sure it matters anymore. Whether we started it or someone else did the train's rolling now and there's only one way off."

"Yeah," Cameron said sarcastically. "We just have to get there without derailing it."

"Exactly right." She smiled as she said it giving his hand a small squeeze.

"So when do you want to talk to Melanie?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could go tomorrow if that's ok. I wanna catch her while Greg's at work."

"You really think you can get her to talk to you?"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation. "I do." Andra had put a lot of thought into who they should approach first. After reviewing all the names that Conrad had given them Melanie seemed like their best option.

If word got out about what Andra and Cameron were up to there was a possibility that no one would talk. Melanie knew Savannah better than almost anyone. If Andra was going to be able to get her to open up she would need to catch her off guard.

"Alright then if you're sure."

"I am." She said giving him a smile that she hoped relayed more confidence than she felt.

"Ok. tomorrow it is then." He paused for a moment looking as if he were going to say something else but her mother chose that exact moment to call up from the bottom of the stairs.

"Dinner's ready."

Andra saw the look on Cameron's face and laughed aloud. Cameron loved to eat and her mother loved having someone around that appreciated her cooking. It seemed to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

"Let's go then." She said still laughing as he rose from the floor and pulled her to her feet. They were halfway down the stairs when Andra remembered something.

"Hey Cameron tell my mom I'll be right there, will you. I need to do something."

"Yeah, sure thing." He said already bounding toward the kitchen door.

Heading quickly back toward her room Andra went directly to the laptop still open on the desk. She started to shut it down and then hesitated thinking better of it. As she ran her fingers quickly over the touchpad the screen saver dropped away and revealed the video she had been watching just before Cameron's arrival. Running it back to the fifteen-minute mark she hit play.

The people on screen immediately sprang to life moving busily back and forth. They were bathed in the familiar black and green shades that could only indicate the use of a night vision camera. The men featured were in what looked to be an abandoned building. Three of them were part of a ghost hunting crew whose videos she regularly followed. The fourth was a reporter for a small entertainment website. He looked as though he would be better suited to an accountant's office than abandoned buildings and ghost hunts. He was shadowing the group as part of a unique Halloween episode that had been filmed a few years ago. In this portion of the video, he was interviewing the group's ruggedly handsome lead investigator.

"So I'm here with Chris Marks. Most of my viewers here today will know him from the show Ghost State where he and his group of paranormal investigators search for spirits in places like the abandoned hospital you see behind me. I have been inducted as an honorary investigator for the night and I'll be following them as they search for evidence of the spirit world. So Chris tell us, how do you and your crew choose the various sites you investigate?"

"Well, it's simpler than you'd believe," He said running a hand through his short spiky hair. As he crossed his arms over his chest his sleeve pulled up a bit exposing a forearm wrapped in tattoos. "We look for places like this hospital. Places that have seen a lot of death or tragedy are usually breeding grounds for unsettled spirits who can't pass on."

The reporter who resembled an accountant nervously surveyed his surroundings before asking his next question. "How do you decide when to hold your investigations? Are certain times better than others?"

This was the question Andra had been waiting for. She leaned in inches from the screen anticipating the answer.

"Yes. There are more active times. After dark always makes for better visual evidence and the spirits do seem to be more lively at night. We also tend to investigate on the anniversary of a death or major event if that information is available."

"Could I ask why?" He asked nervously, no doubt rethinking his career choices.

"Sure." The investigator answered calmly making no notice of the reporter's obvious discomfort. "I'm not sure exactly why. There's still a lot of speculation. The spirits always seem to be stronger on the anniversary of their passing."

Andra had what she wanted. She powered the computer off and closed it. She knew she was taking a chance going to Savannah on the night she had died but the chances of communicating with her would be so much better. Cameron would be terrified for her and most likely furious if he knew why she had picked that particular night. She saw no reason to worry him any further. He thought she was doing it for production value so she would leave it at that. The less he knew the better off he would be Andra thought to herself as she headed for the door. She hoped she was right.