I have no idea what I'm doing.

I don't know who I am right now, being so openly dominant toward him, but he's driving me insane. Actually insane; I can't think properly with the things he wrote. I'm glad he didn't ask to call me—that would've been an anxiety nightmare. I don't know how any of this works...but here I am, my heart thundering in my chest while I lie in bed, my body electrified and hot as fire.

Fucking hell, Mila. I'm going to make love to you so goddamn good, you'll forget your own damn name when I'm done with you. His reply chimes much quicker than I expected, and the thunder in my heart turns into a violent storm with every word I read. A second text glows on the screen. Because Jesus Christ, you're testing all of my patience, resistance, and self-restraint right now.

Let's not waste any more time, then, Cash. Who the hell am I?

Where are you right now?

In bed. And I'm already so wet, my sheets are probably ruined.

What are you wearing?

Oh, Lord. I regret this. I'm not good at this flirty, playful thing.

Scratch that. Send me a picture.

Send him a picture?

I look down at the Reese's pajamas Jasmine bought me a few months ago, and I blush at the thought of him seeing me in that, even though he's not here. A picture? I ask again. Maybe he didn't mean that.

Yes, Mila. A picture.

This is such a bad idea. Don't laugh...

Promise.

Okay, Mila. Just do it.

I take about a dozen pictures of the gray top with the one and only Reese's logo, paired with orange shorts. None of the pictures look good, really. But something within me changes suddenly. With Hayden, I think I can try things. I trust him. And so I send the best one over, hoping to all the gods up there I'm not embarrassing myself.

Fuck, Mila. That's not only funny, it's also really fucking sexy.

Thank you. I don't really know what else to say. But it seems like Hayden does; his message appears on my display mere seconds later.

I need you to do something for me. I need you to remember the way you felt when we were up on that rooftop, where we kissed like it was the last thing we'll ever do, and then you straddled me like the fucking goddess you are. Can you feel that?

As if I could ever forget that. It's true. Just thinking about that night ignites a fire inside me, the fire that awoke the first time we kissed.

Me neither, Lucky. Now, imagine I'm trailing kisses down your neck, your collarbone, your cleavage until I finally reach those beautiful breasts of yours. I cup them with my hands and give them a little squeeze while my thumb brushes over your nipples. And I bet you're hot already, because you'll want to kiss me like you did that night. A kiss full of fire and passion.

I can feel his hands on me, taste his lips on mine, the way he shamelessly discovers my body makes my heart race. I'd probably start grinding on you, wouldn't I?

Yes, you fucking would. And it'd blow my goddamn mind with how good it feels. Your body is a work of art, Mila. Can you feel how much I appreciate it by kissing every inch of your soft skin?

I can. My body reacts to his words, my skin tingling while my breath grows heavier every second. Yes. It feels really, really good...

It does. Now imagine, when you're grinding on me, you feel how hard I get for you. I just need you so, so desperately...

God, I need you too, Hayden. It's true; my body screams for him, and every nerve ending longs to sense his touch.

Then you know how I feel every damn day since I met you.

That's torture. It really is. Not having him here hurts in more ways than one.

You bet your beautiful ass it is, Lucky.

God, I want you so much now, Hayden. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. All I know is that every fiber of my being wants to be near him.

I want you too, Mila. Just imagine I'm pushing into you, and you're driving me crazy again. You feel the friction of our bodies, only separated by the fabric of our clothes, your little shorts rubbing against my jeans.

And at some point, my hand must've wandered down into my shorts, because I'm typing my reply with one hand while the other draws circles on my nub. Shit... I want you to take your pants off.

You're impatient, Lucky. I can only imagine the smirk on his lips when he types the reply. You need to do the same, love. Because I'm not finished yet, not by miles.

I hope so. My fingers quickly dance over the keyboard before I shimmy out of my shorts.

Oh, and take your shirt off.

I do as he says before I send my reply. Same goes for you.

I'm back in my comfortable position when my phone lights up with another text from Hayden, this time showing a picture he sent. The word Done appears at the bottom of the screen, and I almost gasp when I take in Hayden's familiar naked chest, his firm body only covered with a duvet spread over his groin.

Holy fuck.

Do you like what you see? he teases.

I really do.

Good. Because I need to see you too, Mila.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit... I can't show him what I look like right now, wearing granny pants and a sports bra.

"I gotta have something somewhere..." I make my way over to my dresser, hastily searching for that expensive underwear set Jas once gave me "Ah-ha! There it is!" I grab the underwear from my drawer and get changed into the black Calvin Klein set, which is nothing sexy, but it's the best I have.

As soon as I settle in my bed again, anxiety burns into my bones like wildfire, and I try to calm myself by taking a few deep breaths. "Be brave, Mila. Be brave," I whisper as I take a ton of pictures until there's one I'm kind of satisfied with, but I'm still hesitating.

I'm dying here, Lucky. Hayden's text gives me the push I need.

Truth is, I trust him. And I want this, so, so much.

I send the picture, my fingers shaking as I wait for his reply, which takes way too long for my liking. He probably didn't like it. He must hate my belly button piercing, he hates the underwear, he probably hates the stretch marks on my thighs...

Holy motherfucking shit, Mila. My phone lights up with a second text. I didn't know you had a piercing.

I knew he wouldn't like it. I did that a long time ago...

Well...it looks really goddamn delicious.

Oh. Oh! Okay.

Play the game, Mila. He likes it. Play the game. Does that mean you want to taste me?

My hands already wander over my chest as I wait for his reply, and when it comes in, I can't help but follow his orders. Fuck yes I want to taste you. In fact, I want you to touch yourself now. Let your fingers glide down that piercing of yours, and then into those delicious panties you're wearing.

I do as he says, my fingers skimming over my skin until I reach my panties, my palm moving beneath it, and as soon as I feel my clit beneath my fingertips, a jolt of pleasure rushes through me. The mere thought of his hands on me electrifies every nerve in my body.

Are you wet, Mila?

Dripping... My fingers are already shaking when I type the response, my senses working on overdrive as I wait for his reply.

Good. How does it feel?

It feels amazing. I almost moan while I type the words.

That's what I thought. Now I want you to slip two fingers into you, but imagine it's me who's doing it. Imagine how hungrily I'd look at you when I rotate my fingers inside you, drowning them in your wetness.

I do as he says; the sole image of him doing these things to me drives me mad. My breathing gets heavy as I slowly pump my fingers, the other hand tightly gripping my phone so I can read his instructions.

Rub your thumb over your clit, but don't stop moving in and out of you. And imagine your thumb is my tongue, imagine how I'd lick you like you were my last fucking meal on this earth. Because you'd taste heavenly, and I'd be so hard just by watching you watch me.

Hayden...

Are you close, Mila?

I nod, but then realize I have to type the reply. Yes.

I want to hear the first orgasm I'm giving you... Can I call you?

I'm so high on endorphins that I don't even care about anything anymore; it seems my social anxiety got shot into space from the pleasure inside my core. My fingers work on their own as I dial Hayden's number, put the phone on speaker, and then place it next to my head.

"Lucky." His voice is deserving of his nickname again, deeper than the ocean and smoky like the fire he ignites within me.

"Cash..." I'm so goddamn breathless, just saying his name feels like torture right now.

"Fuck, you sound so beautifully sexy. Are you still doing what I told you?"

"Mm-hmm." My confirmation is more of a moan as my walls clench around my fingers, and I'm riding on a cloud full of pleasure, full of desire when he speaks again.

"Fucking hell, Lucky. Your voice alone makes me so hard right now."

"Then do something about it," I murmur, still driving myself to the edge, his voice lacing my passion with scorching fire.

"Not until I hear you come, love. Can you still feel my fingers inside you?"

"Yeah, they feel so good..."

"Imagine I'm picking up the speed." His voice is dark as the night, his growl almost vibrating down the line when he asks, "Can you feel how fast I'm thrusting in and out of you? Can you taste my tongue on your lips?"

"Shit, Hayden. This... Oh..." And then, completely unexpectedly, I'm thrown over the edge, my entire body weightless, almost like I'm in space. "Oh fuck, Hayden." I can't hide the loud moan that escapes my throat, biting down on my lips as I see stars from this high he sent me on.

My legs are still shaking while I try to catch my breath, honestly fearing I might faint if I don't breathe again.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Mila. That was the hottest thing I've ever heard."

"I... That..." I try finding the right words, but I can't. I've never done anything like this, never dared to let myself explore my body this way, but Hayden gives me confidence that I can figure myself out.

"You can say that again. I've never been this hard." He almost growls the words, and I have to swallow when I feel another shiver run down my spine, the aftermath of this mind-blowing orgasm still lingering in my bones.

"We should probably...change that," I whisper in between breaths, my voice still lazy from desire, my mind cloudy and full of fire.

"Is that so? How exactly would you do that?"

"I would..." I breathe out, "...after what you've just done, I would wait for you to climb back up and kiss me."

"Oh, I'd kiss you, alright. And you could taste yourself on my lips, Mila. So fucking delicious. Dip your finger into your juices and tell me how you taste. I need to know."

I do as he asked, and a quiet gasp escapes my throat when I touch my sensitive spot before bringing the finger back to my lips, tasting myself for the first time. "Hmm, I taste so sweet..."

"Fuck, Mila." He groans, and the sole thought of him so utterly desperate does something to me again, something dangerous and way too pleasurable.

"Imagine I'd let you suck my fingers, giving you the taste you crave. But soon I'd start pushing you. I'd push you into this mattress so I could straddle you again."

"I love it when you do that." I can almost hear the smile on his lips.

"I know you do...and I also know you love when I grind on you, don't you?"

"You know I do." His voice is barely a whisper when he responds, and I almost sense his rock-hard body beneath me, every inch of it at my mercy now.

"Good. Because I'd grind on you like there's no tomorrow. And you'd grow so damn hard beneath me... Shit, that'd be so good."

"Fuck, Mila... I can literally feel you right now."

And I know what he means. I can sense every word he whispers on my skin, goosebumps spreading on my skin where his fingers would dig into my thigh, holding on for dear life.

"I can feel you too. I know how hard you are. And I'll keep on grinding on you until you can't take it anymore."

"I already can't take it anymore, Lucky. I want you so fucking bad." His deep, husky voice sends shivers down my spine, igniting me again, setting me aflame like a goddamn torch.

"Then take me, Hayden. How would you take me?"

"Fuck..." I can hear him move for a second before he continues, "I'd spin you around and rip every damn piece of fabric off you. And you couldn't even blink with how fast I'd be naked, as well."

"Hmm... You'd look so beautiful too. I'm sure of it."

"Not as beautiful as you. I can only imagine how stunning you look right now. And I'd show you that by kissing every single inch of your naked body. I'd flick my tongue over your nipples, biting them just a little."

His imaginary touch sets my skin aflame; I don't even control my fingers as they work on my breasts, my nipples so overly sensitive that every move is like an electrifying spark, igniting that fuse in me again and again as I moan out loud. "Mm-hmm...that's so good."

"Do you know how fucking hard I am, Mila?"

"I know. My fingers feel it when I wrap them around your hard cock. You're so big, Hayden. God..."

"That's what you do to me. Every fucking day, all day long."

"I like that I do that. Do you like it when I wrap my legs around your waist, so I could grind on your massive erection? Do you like that?"

"Shit, Mila. You know I fucking love that. You're so goddamn soft."

"I need you to fuck me now, Hayden." I blush as soon as the words leave my mouth, but my brain is obviously not working anymore, raw lust and need taking over every shred of sanity.

"I won't fuck you, love. I'll make love to you. Because that's what you deserve. I'd push into you, slowly, and you'll see how fucking hard I am for you when I go deeper... Gods, you'd be so fucking tight for me."

And without even being near my panties right this moment, I can feel how I'm pushed closer and closer to the edge already. "God, Hayden..."

"Don't hold back, Mila. I want to hear how much pleasure I'm giving you. Because I'm so fucking close to losing it already; you drive me insane."

I'm suddenly extremely glad that Jas is out tonight. Otherwise, I surely couldn't have met his demands, and right now it's all that I want to do.

"Fuck, Hayden. This is ..." I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind by now. I actually feel him inside me, his hands on me, his eyes drinking me in... And again I'm already so, so close to the edge, just from hearing his voice, from following his commands.

"Fuck, this is so good. I need to kiss you."

"Kiss me, Hayden. Kiss me like it's the last thing you'll do. Make me forget my own name with that kiss while you're inside me."

We're both quiet, listening to the other's heavy breathing, bathing in the sound of each other's arousal as we think of our fused lips, of our tongues dancing, our bodies wrestling.

"Mila, I..." He groans, and I only nod.

"Me too. Oh God."

His animalistic growl travels straight through my body, and when I hear his climax at the other end of the line, I'm instantly hit with my own high. "Oh, Hayden, ohhh..." It's like I'm plummeting into a puddle of lust when desire takes over, actually making me forget my own damn name as I scream out his, my hands holding on to the edge, desperately needing to keep a grip to reality.

It's just our breathing for a few seconds, both of us trying to understand what exactly just happened here. "Gods, Mila. I... That... Fuck."

"I... Yeah." I whisper, and again we listen to each other's breaths, reluctant to come down from this mind-blowing explosion that still ripples through my body.

"I don't know what made you come up with that idea, but shit. That was...fucking intense."

And I can't help but giggle when I hear him shudder, I have to admit it makes me proud to know I played a part in his pleasure.

"I'm serious, Mila. That was so fucking intense. And you weren't even here.... It makes me wonder."

"Makes you wonder what exactly, Cash?" I don't understand where my courage comes from, but it's there. And I can't deny that it's refreshing to be this open with someone without fearing they might judge me.

"You know exactly what it makes me wonder, you goddamn insane woman."

"Is that true, Mr. Cross?"

"You really need to stop calling me that, or I'll actually have to punish you when you get here. You drive me mad."

And I can't help but giggle again when I cover myself with my duvet, still overly sensitive to every single touch.

"It's not even fucking funny anymore, Mila. I'm hard again already." He chuckles, contradicting his statement with the beautiful sound of his raspy voice.

"Sorry."

"Don't you fucking apologize for that. It's glorious. What you do to me—it's earth-shatteringly glorious."

I stay quiet again, not knowing what to say to that. I'm just so bad at taking compliments.

"I'm serious. I miss you so much, Mila. I did not expect this."

His words go straight into my heart, warming it up and engulfing me in happiness and contentment. He always knows what to say, in exactly the right way. "I miss you too...a lot. It's not much longer, though."

"Feels like it." He sighs.

"I'm sorry."

"That's not what I meant, Mila. It's my fault. Not yours. Stop blaming yourself for things you didn't cause." I feel my heart swell at his words. How does he always know what I think?

"I...Okay. I just mean...I'd love to be with you, right now."

"I'd love that too."

And then we're lying there in our separate beds, not even talking a lot, just listening to the other exist so many miles away. I suddenly realize I'm in serious trouble. Because this man is goddamn Thor. His thunder rattles me to my core, and his stormy character uproots every single shred of my sanity, offering my very being to him on a silver platter.

"Sweet dreams, Lucky."

I'm already half asleep when I register his voice, and I imagine he's lying next to me, his arms wrapped around my waist as I snuggle up to him. "Mhmm... Good night, Cash."

And then, the last thing I hear before I fall into the land of dreams is his sweet, corny chuckle, and I already know this is nothing compared to the real thing.