Luin

I woke up to an e-mail from the hospital saying that we were expected to report back tomorrow morning, and to continue our work at the hospital until the Alterran war was over. It contained no hint of censure, but I still felt my stomach churn with guilt. Arrowan stirred and blinked awake, and I seriously wondered whether the force of my guilt through our bond had woken him up.

"Sorry," I whispered. I wanted to burrow under the blankets in shame. I wanted to tell Arrowan to go back to the hospital and get back to work without me, but just as much, I selfishly wanted him here with me.

His eyes were full of compassion and warmth, and I didn't feel like I deserved either. "Hey, stop that. Everyone else takes off at least a day every week. I think we can take one day, five weeks in. It's going to be okay."

I might have believed him, if I couldn't feel his own worries through our bond.

Arrowan kissed my head and sighed. "Why don't you take a hot shower while I make us some breakfast?"

He knew I'd been dreaming of our shower since we left here. The ones at the hospital had terrible water pressure, spluttered, and could barely make it past lukewarm in temperature. I still wanted to hide myself away, but the idea of a shower was enough to have me climbing out of the bed.

I moved mechanically to the closet and stood staring at my clothes. I had been wearing the same few stained outfits for so long, the idea of getting to choose new, unsoiled clothes was strangely overwhelming. It was hard to focus on anything at all anymore, since I spent so much mental energy shoving back memories of the past month. Arrowan reached over my shoulder and pulled out a deep purple button-down.

"This one," he said. I raised a brow at him and he shrugged. "It looks good on you."

I smiled gratefully and took the shirt, then grabbed a pair of matching trousers. Arrowan kissed my forehead and headed to the kitchen. I went for a shower, and food was ready by the time I was finished. Sitting at our table with a lovely breakfast in front of me and wearing my own crisp, clean clothes had me feeling more like myself than I had since all of this started.

We were just sitting down to eat when the wards flashed and the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Arrowan said.

I nodded, gratefully accepting that he was babying me a little this morning. I was still exhausted from being almost constantly on the clock for so long, and I dreaded going back tomorrow before we really had a chance to recover. We would find out whether our leaving had caused any fatalities, which only made me dread returning even more. I would be happier never knowing.

A burst of emotion flowed through our bond from Arrowan before he shut it down. Shock? Excitement? Whatever it was, the feeling was completely out of place. It seemed foreign after the bloody, grueling slog that had become our lives.

"Luin?" Arrowan called. "Could you come here for a minute?"

His tone sounded strange, too. I set down my fork and hurried to the living room. I didn't even take the time to use a napkin, instead swiping the back of my hand over my mouth as I walked. I was still chewing my last bite of the breakfast sandwich Arrowan had made me when I walked into the living room, and I almost choked on it when I looked to the open doorway.

"Mom!"

She didn't look like the picture I had in my head of her, but this was unmistakably my mother. She was a little heavier than when I was growing up and her once-dark hair was threaded through with silver. Her cheeks were rosier, or maybe that was just from the tears that were already flowing down them. She was aged, I thought, and not just physically; there was something in her eyes, too. No, she didn't look like I remembered... but she looked perfect.

Running wasn't fast enough. I teleported into her open arms, which wrapped immediately around me with surprising strength. I didn't think I could pull out of her embrace even if I wanted to.

"Oh, my baby!"

"How?" I asked. My mind raced with potential explanations, but none of them made sense. She wouldn't have chosen banishment to see me. If that was going to be her choice, she would have made it a long time ago, wouldn't she? And it would mean leaving behind her daughter and her grandchildren, and the rest of her life. It didn't make sense.

So how was she here?

"Don't you know?" she said, finally pulling back so she could press her hands to my cheeks and study me. "Everyone banished from Seelie territory has been pardoned. Free travel is allowed to and from Earth now. They announced it yesterday morning."

I finally looked away from my mother so I could shoot my bond mate a puzzled look. He was equally baffled. "No, I hadn't heard."

"Well, no wonder. You're impossible to find, you know. This place has the thickest warding I've ever seen. I was at a loss until I remembered Fen was in this realm, too. He told me where to find you." Mom explained. I could see that she was concerned, and I couldn't figure out why until she asked, "Why do you need wards like these, Luin?"

It was too much to explain right now, the trouble we'd had with the Unseelie back when I first met Arrowan. Instead, I offered another truth. "A friend of mine owns the house. It was already heavily warded when we moved in."

The reminder that I didn't live here alone seemed to jolt her, and my mother's eyes strayed from me to search out my bond mate. Her head tilted a little as she studied him, and I felt strangely nervous about introducing them. It was silly. My mother had always been supportive of my relationship with Arrowan, even before I met him. She would stay supportive now. I squared my shoulders and said, "Mom, this is my bond mate, Arrowan."

She smiled widely and offered her hand for him to clasp. "I'm Triandra."

Arrowan had been feeling awkward and unsure, and I could have kicked myself for getting too caught up in my reunion with my mother and neglecting him. He smiled politely at my mother and, after a quick hand clasp, he hooked his arm around my waist and tucked me into his side. It was weird, showing even this small modicum of affection in front of my mother, but Arrowan was completely unconcerned about it. In fact, his warmth and happiness leaked through our bond and I started to feel less awkward, too.

That is, until my mother's eyes widened, then looked wistful. "It's a balm to my heart, seeing my son so happy," she said, looking to Arrowan. "Thank you. You have no idea how I've worried about him over the years."

Arrowan kissed the top of my head. "I can imagine."

We stood for a silent moment, and it seemed like no one quite knew how to navigate from here. I had so many things I wanted to talk to my mother about, but I didn't want Arrowan feeling left out. He seemed to understand, and he squeezed me tighter for a second before letting me go and stepping away.

"I'll leave you two to catch up. Luin, I'll be out for a bit, okay?"

He was probably going to go to Glenna and Safiya's to give us some privacy. I nodded and he kissed me chastely before heading for the front door.

And in the meantime, I had my mother to catch up with. The breakfast Arrowan had made for us was still in the kitchen, untouched. It wouldn't keep until Arrowan returned, so I gave his plate to my mother, who admitted she had come here without taking the time to eat. While we ate, I mentally sorted through the bevy of questions I had for her, trying to single one out.

Mom beat me to it. "Arrowan seems nice," she said.

It surprised me, how much I wanted to argue with her. He wasn't just nice. He was so much more than that. Arrowan had become my strength and security, and I couldn't comprehend surviving without him to anchor me ever again. And even that didn't encompass everything he was to me; he was my joy and my heart. I felt awash in my love for him, and I didn't bother to contain it. My emotions flowed through our bond, and I felt Arrowan's love for me coming through in response.

I shut my eyes against a sudden brightness. Usually, light didn't bother me. Seelie were creatures of the light, after all. This was too much even for me, though. The bond became all I could focus on, and I thought I could almost see the connection between myself and Arrowan with my eyes shut like this. I could almost see him. He was turned toward me, I knew that, just as I was facing him. And he shimmered like moonlight.

"We did it."

The words pressed into my mind, feeling separate from myself but not foreign or invasive. No part of Arrowan could feel unwelcome in my life, not even his mind.

"What did we do?" I asked, knowing somehow that these voiceless words would reach him.

"Our bond. It's fully connected."

I had assumed it was as connected as it would get after our lovemaking. It had been impossible to imagine being more connected to him than I was then.

I knew I had a dopey smile on my face when I looked back to my mother, whose eyes twinkled when she grinned at me. "I didn't realize you two were so close to intertwining," she said. "Congratulations!"

I blushed and looked away from her, but it was hard to be upset when I could still feel Arrowan like he was here with me. Would I ever feel alone again? I didn't think so, and while that should have probably made me feel stifled... it was just comforting.

When I saw my mother's eyes go wistful again, I realized she must be thinking of my father. She must feel so terribly lonely all the time. "Mom..." I struggled for words, but I didn't want to make her feel worse by saying the wrong thing.

She shook her head and gave me a wobbly smile. "Don't you worry about me, Luin. It's my job to look after you, not the other way around, and I have a lot of years to make up for."

And I couldn't help myself. "But Dad..."

The small smile she had managed faltered before she resolutely forced it to return. "Your father would be so proud of you. We both dreamed of this day. You must know... it was so hard to watch you go like that, Luin. We thought of you every day and we worried so much. We even talked about leaving Alterra and finding you on Earth, but your sister was still growing, and our lives were there."

Her eyes welled with tears and I grabbed her hand across the table. "Mom, it's okay."

She shook her head, and I thought I could feel her fingers tremble. "I don't think it is. You must have felt so abandoned. How could we let you go like that? But how could we leave your sister? I don't think we made the right decision. Corrin would have been okay if we left her with my sister, or with your father's parents. But you were just a boy and you came here alone, and I don't know how you survived."

The tears flowed faster now, and I released her so I could stand. Her arms wrapped around herself as she cried, so when I hugged her tightly, she wasn't able to hug back. She just pressed her face against my chest and cried.

"It's okay," I reassured her over and over again. I had never blamed them for not coming with me. It wasn't fair to expect them to choose one child over the other. Of course they had stayed with the one who wasn't making a choice to leave. But my mother didn't seem to believe me, so I let her cry it out.

Later, we would have a talk. I'd tell her about what it had been like for me when I came here. I would tell her a little about how hard it had been so she wouldn't feel like I was sugar-coating the truth, but mostly she would hear about the friends I had made. Other than meeting Arrowan, they were the best part of being on Earth. And if I had come here with my parents, I never would have met them. Lachlan and Magnus, Safiya and Glenna... I didn't want to imagine a life without them in it. And I knew I had made a positive impact on their lives, too. I had gotten to help Magnus keep his alpha title. I had introduced Safiya to Fen, which led to her meeting Roderick. And that wasn't mentioning Glenna, or all the people I got to know when I lived and worked with the Tourmaline pack.

I wouldn't kid myself; I wasn't some shining hero who had singlehandedly transformed anyone's life except maybe Arrowan's. Everyone else would have been fine without me. But I was honored to have been a part of their lives, and to have them in my own life.

I would tell my mother about my friends, and hopefully she would see that this guilt wasn't necessary. Everything had worked out for the best.