Luin

Arrowan thought I was being naïve; anyone could see that. His shoulders were stiff with tension, his brows were furrowed, and his eyes were glaring at the floor instead of at the source of his stress: me. I couldn't blame him, really. He had lived his live up until this point with the goal of achieving safe normalcy with me, and we hadn't gotten to really enjoy it yet. Who could blame him for wanting to take the safe path instead of jeopardizing our hard-won future? But I couldn't do it.

If we refused to help the Unseelie man and his bond mate, I would be haunted by the "what if" of it all.

What if he was telling the truth?

What if his bond mate died because he couldn't get her to a capable healer in time?

Arrowan and I would be safe, sure, but at what cost? What was our safety worth, when we turned our back on people in need to reach it?

Arrowan visibly took a few long moments to collect himself. When he did look back up at me, the hardness of his expression softened a bit and he briefly cupped my cheek. "Luin, if we're going to do this, I want you to promise me you're going to be safe. Stay back with Glenna and get yourself out of there if things turn dangerous."

This was too predictable an ask for it to make me really angry. Of course Arrowan wanted me to promise to abandon him if he needed me. And of course I would do no such thing.

"Not happening," I answered. Arrowan pouted – actually pouted – but I held firm. "We're a team. And we stand a better chance of both staying safe if we stay together. You won't get me to leave you, not ever."

The bond between us warmed as affection briefly overshadowed his stress. "You're hard to argue with," Arrowan said. "You make me not want to."

I snorted and held out my hand. "Let's go. The quicker you heal that poor woman, the quicker you see that this is all going to be fine and you stop worrying."

"We should plan-"

"For what?" I cut him off. "The plan is that we'll leave if things go bad."

"This is a mistake," Arrowan said, sounding equal parts irritated and defeated. Nonetheless, he reached out and clasped my hand in his. He gave me a solemn nod and I took us back to Glenna and Safiya's shop.

The curtain in Arrowan's little healing area was pulled back now, and Glenna stood by the side of the exam table gently wiping the Seelie woman's brow with a damp cloth. She looked over at us and relief shone in her eyes.

"I don't recognize this poison," Glenna said. "I don't know how to help her."

The Unseelie man, Kashiel, winced at Glenna's words. "That's what every healer I've seen has said. But you're the first Unseelie with a strong healing affinity I've found," he said to Arrowan.

Arrowan's hand stayed tightly clasped in mine and he used the connection to pull me behind him. Arrowan's body stayed angled between me and Kashiel for the whole walk to the exam table. He finally released me so I wouldn't interfere with the healing, and I felt a sharp stab of panic through the bond when he did. I wished I could reassure him somehow, but at least this whole ordeal should be over soon.

Arrowan reached out and lightly put a hand over the woman's arm. Her veins looked to be an even darker shade of red than they had appeared over the phone, and her skin shone with perspiration. Though she was unconscious, whatever fell sleep she was under was not restful. Her eyelids fluttered and her eyes were darting every which way underneath them. Her breathing was uneven, fluctuating between wild gasps and breathing so slow I almost thought she had stopped altogether. Sometimes her breaths came with an awful, rattling wheeze that made my own throat ache in sympathy.

I looked back to Arrowan, whose eyes were shut in concentration. Since I knew how he felt about Kashiel, I watched the strange Unseelie for any sudden movements or a hint of deceit. He mostly looked broken, though, and I had a hard time keeping my mind from straying. This was the second Unseelie I had ever seen and I couldn't help comparing him to Arrowan. They shared the same pale complexion, with skin that was almost white. It seemed Unseelie might always be a study in extremes. Where Arrowan's hair was white, too, this man's was like midnight. It was unfathomably dark, and just like Arrowan's sapphire eyes stood out in his face, this man's emerald gaze was striking. And of course, he shared the same strange shadowing that Arrowan had. Only, whenever I wasn't directly looking at him, Kashiel's shadows seemed to flicker and move. Creepy, but not a reason to think he was about to spring a trap on us.

Or, I thought that at first. As minutes ticked by while we all waited to see whether Arrowan could help the Seelie woman, I did start to get a little paranoid. It was a relief when Arrowan pulled away, taking my hand again and looking to Kashiel with a guarded expression. "This isn't poison. It's fae magic."

Kashiel's eyes grew wide with surprise that looked genuine. "Can you reverse it?"

Arrowan shook his head. "I can ease her symptoms temporarily, but they'll just keep coming back. You need someone who knows how to reverse this."

Kashiel sagged and we all gave him a few moments of silence to process this and collect himself. "Thank you for trying," he finally said. "That must be why the other healers weren't able to help."

"It's hardly surprising they'd have a hard time identifying fae magic," Glenna said pensively. "I had never encountered it, myself, until I met Luin here."

Arrowan glared at her and I squeezed his hand in warning. My name, I thought. If Kashiel hadn't had my name before, he did now. I didn't see what harm he could do with it, though.

Kashiel stared brokenly at his bond mate and my heart ached for him. My mind searched for something, anything, I could say that might comfort him and finally, I found a bright spot. "This means it wasn't the swamp witch," I said. "Whatever she gave your bond mate, maybe it worked."

Kashiel focused on me for the first time and his lips twitched toward a smile. "Maybe. I'll just be happy if Thistle wakes up."

I looked back at the prone Seelie woman, trying to fit the name Thistle to her. It was an ancient name, something from my great-great-grandmother's generation or maybe even older. I had never met anyone so young who had it. Interesting.

"Do you know any other fae who might be able to help you?" I asked curiously.

Kashiel looked confused. "Of course. I'll just take her to Faerie."

"Faerie?" Glenna asked. "I apologize, but aren't you banished from Faerie?"

Kashiel smiled kindly at her. "No need to apologize. It's a common misconception. Earth natives get the two confused all the time, thinking Faerie is another name for Alterra. It isn't. It's not the native home of fae, but the Earth-made one."

"What?" The word slipped out of a mouth that felt strangely disconnected from me as I reeled from the implications.

"You haven't found Faerie yet? You can come with me and Thistle. It's a pocket realm for displaced fae. There are portals all over Earth. I can take you to the nearest one."

"No," Arrowan said immediately. I knew why – though Kashiel hadn't attacked us, Arrowan still didn't trust him. Well, I wasn't willing to let that stand between me and a chance to meet other fae. I was happy with my friends and the makeshift family I had found here on Earth, but I didn't feel settled here. Arrowan helped, but when I let myself imagine being back in a place entirely filled with my own kind, it felt like a dream. And I wanted it, badly.

"I'm going," I said, and I tried to make my voice firm so Arrowan would realize I would not be swayed.

"Luin..."

"I need to see it," I insisted.

Arrowan was starting to get properly angry with me, and even I had a hard time believing I could be so reckless with our hard-won safety (because I acknowledged that there was no way Arrowan would let me do this alone). He fixed his turbulent gaze on me and I had to focus hard not to look away from it. Eventually, he sighed. "Alright," he said, and pressed a kiss to my temple. "But you aren't letting go of my hand until we get home. Deal?"

"Deal," I said, and squeezed his hand in reflexive affirmation.

"So," I said, looking to Kashiel, "where's this portal?"

--

I had expected the portal to look like the one I stepped through when I came to Earth so many years ago. A shimmering archway, maybe framed by hanging tree limbs or the arch of a stone cave. What I saw instead had laughter bubbling out of me, and even Arrowan barked a laugh. It was an actual faerie ring, a circle of mushrooms like in the old earthly stories.

Kashiel, who held Thistle in his arms, stepped up to the circle and looked over his shoulder at us. "You simply step in. No magic needed."

He took a step forward and vanished.

"Seems dangerous to leave a portal so open," I said, stepping toward it and squinting, trying to see any of the telltale portal shimmer I was used to.

"It does," Arrowan said. "This place can't be very secure. I don't like this, Luin. That portal could lead anywhere. What if it leads us into a trap?"

I licked my lips, but the sudden dryness of my mouth didn't abate. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

But...

But I wanted it to be real with a ferocity that surprised me. I wasn't alone anymore, but years spent craving the company of my own kind had left their mark. I might have Arrowan and Fen, and all my Earth-born friends, but I must be greedier than I ever realized, because I wanted more.

I couldn't rip my gaze from the mushroom ring. I was terrified that this was a trap, but that wasn't enough to stop me.

"Together," Arrowan said quietly. He didn't sound upset anymore, and he wasn't trying to talk me out of it. I looked up at him questioningly and he sighed. "I'm learning to pick my battles," he said. "Just remember our deal – don't let go of me. We stick together, okay?"

As if I was remotely inclined to go off on my own. "Of course."

I squeezed Arrowan's hand and screwed up my nerve. Arrowan nodded at me and together, we stepped forward. The world shimmered before my eyes, fading to white before completely different scenery faded in. Instead of standing in muddy woods, we were in a bustling town square. There were people everywhere, and every single one of them was fae.

Kashiel stood before us, and his arms looked like they might be trembling with the exertion of holding his bond mate up for so long. "I'm going to take her to a friend. You're welcome to join me and I'll have someone show you around, or you can explore on your own."

"We'll take it from here, thanks," Arrowan said.

Kashiel looked completely unoffended by Arrowan's biting tone, which was far more hostile than the situation called for. Hadn't Kashiel proved himself yet? "The portal back is just there," he said, gesturing behind us. I looked over my shoulder and saw the more traditional archway I was used to. "Thank you again," Kashiel added, then turned away and headed down the street.

I clutched Arrowan's hand tightly and took in the sights around us. Everywhere, Seelie and Unseelie intermixed freely. I wished I could take a picture and show the bigots back in Alterra that it really was possible for our kinds to get along. Then again, the fewer people back home who knew about this place, the better. They might just destroy it.

"So?" Arrowan said. "Does it meet your expectations?"

I nodded, though he had to know the answer already. "It's incredible." I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. The smell of fresh-baked bread was unmistakable and I looked around for a possible source. Across the square, there was a bakery. "I know where we're going first. Do you think they take the American dollar here?"

Arrowan followed my gaze and laughed, sounding like he was finally loosening up. "Let's find out."

--

It wasn't like my mother's bread, but it was good. Everything about this place was a kind of wonderland, but it didn't escape my notice that there were far more Seelie fae here than Unseelie ones. As we meandered the streets, taking in the shops and sights, I tried to figure out what the ratio was and landed on an estimate of at least a dozen Seelie for every one Unseelie. It made me sad, and it made me more grateful than ever that Arrowan had found his way to me.

We were making our way back to the portal when I heard my name being called. "Luin! Luuuuin!"

I reflexively spun around and sought out the source, though I felt kind of silly when my mind caught up to my reflexes. I was used to spending my time with Earth natives, but surely I wasn't the only Luin in a place like this. I was just about to turn forward again, but then a woman ran into my view. She leaned forward and pressed her hand to her chest while she gulped in air, but I recognized her all the same.

"Nuala?" I gasped.

She smiled at me even as she kept wheezing, and her gleaming grey eyes were full of joy. When she recovered from running, she straightened and threw her arms around me. Even though I was taller now than I had been when I stayed with her, Amelie, and Nuala as a teen, I still felt sheltered and small within her embrace. I hugged her back, tentatively at first and then tightly.

"Hey, kid," she said, and damned if it wasn't good to be called that again.

I pulled away to get a proper look at her, and though she looked a bit older, she also looked lighter than when I had known her. Back then, she had tucked herself away from the world, content to hole up in her room or on the couch reading a book or watching the television. She liked to immerse herself in the stories of other people's lives to escape the disappointments she had with her own. That kind of deep discontent had left its mark on her, and it was a balm on my heart to see her without it.

Nuala's eyes scanned me just as mine scanned her, and she said, "Looks like life's been kind to you."

I glanced at Arrowan, whose hand I had accidentally dropped when I hugged Nuala even though I had promised not to let go of him until we were home. I winced in apology and he nodded his forgiveness, linking hands with me again. "Nuala, this is Arrowan, my bond mate."

"I knew it!" she squealed, and threw her arms around me again. I hugged her back with one arm this time and she pulled away much quicker. "I'm so happy for you. I met mine, too, a couple of years after we separated."

I had thought as much, given how happy she looked. "I'm happy for you, too. What about Carmine and Amelie? Have you heard from them at all?"

Nuala's expression shifted, and I had a hard time reading it. I thought sadness lingered there, and maybe resignation? "They're back in Alterra. I suppose you've heard they're letting people go back if they break their bonds?"

I shut my eyes and let that sink in. If I'd had to guess, I would have thought Amelie would go back if she had the chance. She had been resigned to being alone forever and had given up all hope to the contrary when we first met. Carmine, though... it was sad to know I wouldn't see Carmine again, now that I had found Nuala.

Nuala was smiling understandingly and shrugged. "They made their choice and I can't blame them."

Me neither. "I hope they find their happiness," I said, and she nodded, then flicked her gaze to Arrowan.

"I'm sorry, we've been rude. Arrowan, was it? It's good to meet you," she said. "I'm Nuala."

They clasped hands in greeting and Arrowan asked, "How do you know each other?"

"We were housemates, once. Years ago," Nuala answered. I opened my mouth to ask her about her life in the years since we separated, but before I could, she said, "Are you going to the assembly? We're going to be late."

Arrowan and I exchanged confused glances. "What assembly?"

Nuala frowned, now just as confused as we were. "You know, the assembly? About the war?"