Luin

It was easier, after our ice skating date, to feel safe outside of our home. In fact, it was so much easier that I called Magnus and asked him to put me back on the schedule for my work around the pack.

"Are you sure? I really want you to take all the time you need, and I know things have been hectic for you," Magnus fretted.

"I'm sure. Please, Magnus? I miss everyone and feeling so unproductive has been driving me mad."

Magnus made an unhappy humming noise. "Lachlan's not going to like this," he said, and I could hear his reluctance in his voice. "I don't either, for the record."

"Please?" If I just kept pleading, Magnus was bound to give in. He had a really hard time saying no to people – it was a character trait that really shouldn't work for the alpha of a werewolf pack, but his pack usually respected him enough not to abuse his kindness, and his co-alpha wasn't afraid to step in and be Magnus' backbone when needed.

"Oh, fine. But we'll start you off easy. Maybe you can work the dinner shift a couple of days to start?"

"Fine. And I'm going to recharge the wards tomorrow," I added. They had to be falling to pieces by now. It was possible to weave longer-lasting wards than the ones I had put around the Tourmaline pack's territory, but they were less versatile and weaker than these ones that needed recharged. And I really hadn't expected to suddenly not be able to maintain them.

"Deal. I'll have Margery reach out to schedule your work days," Magnus said. She was the head cook, and was something like a cross between the pack grandmother and a no-nonsense mother figure. I felt a pang in my chest just hearing her name. I had missed her more than I realized.

"So?" Arrowan asked.

"I'm going back to work!" I sat down next to him on the couch and squealed in surprise when he slid his hands under my thighs and scooped me onto his lap so I was sitting sideways across him. My arms automatically looped over his neck for stability and he rested his hands on my lower back.

"I'm happy for you," Arrowan said. He knew just how hard it had been to stay here, unproductive and disconnected from so many of the people in my life.

"Thank you."

We smiled at each other, and something changed as we did. An electric feeling crept up, like a current running between us. He shifted underneath me, sliding me a little further back on his lap so I wasn't resting on his crotch anymore. The move made me blush as I registered why it was necessary. Could he tell I was caught up in the same need he was? The thought had my cheeks and the tips of my ears burning in embarrassment.

This – the overwhelming embarrassment that came when I even thought about intimacy – was why we hadn't done more than kissing and cuddling. I had no idea how people could stand to be so vulnerable with someone else. Every time I even thought about opening myself up that way with Arrowan, I backed off like a coward.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Arrowan leaned up and kissed me. One of his hands stroked up and down my back, and I automatically arched into him. Curving my back like that rubbed my semi-hard erection against his stomach and I shivered, growing harder.

Arrowan cupped the back of my neck with the hand that wasn't still moving along my spine, fusing us together as his tongue pushed into my mouth. Our tongues slid against each other and an embarrassing whine left me before I could stop it. Arrowan groaned in response and his hips bucked up, grinding us together and sending another wave of shivers coursing through me. His tongue twirled with mine and his hands slid down my sides to grab at my hips. He started pushing and pulling me against him, thrusting up to meet me, and the shreds of my self-consciousness evaporated.

It stopped mattering to me that I might look back and cringe in embarrassment at the way my body reacted to his. I stopped caring about the whimpers and whines that consistently slipped from me. The only thing that really mattered to me now was Arrowan. His hands, his tongue, and that delicious friction he was creating between us.

He pulled away and my lips chased his, but his iron grip on my hips held me in place. I stared at him in confusion, my mind still fogged with need, and I realized how truly beautiful Arrowan was. The shadows that fell across the planes of his face as though they belonged there even though there was nothing in the room casting such darkness over him, they no longer looked unnatural to me. They were a part of him. His pupils were blown out and massive as he stared up at me, and even though I missed the thicker ring of rich sapphire blue, I loved the unfocused look to them that I had put there. His chest heaved as he breathed heavily and I no longer shied away from the hard bulge in his pants. I reveled in it, and in the way his fingers were kneading the bare skin of my hips as if, even in this moment of peace, he couldn't quite stop touching me.

But with every signal screaming at me that his need matched my own, I was confused about why he had stopped.

"Is this okay?" Arrowan asked. His voice came out lower than usual, strained and gruff. That and the fact he had stopped just to check on me had me straining against his grip to reach for him again, but Arrowan seemed insistent on getting an answer and he held me back.

"Yes!" I said, and tried again. He held firm, though.

"Do you think you might be okay with moving this to the bed?" he asked hesitantly.

The needy fog over my mind started clearing as nerves rushed back in. Arrowan saw right through me, of course, and he smiled encouragingly. "Moving to the bed doesn't mean we do anything you're not comfortable with. It just means we have a little more space to work with."

Who needed more space? I wanted to be closer to him, not farther. But Arrowan wouldn't be asking if it wasn't what he wanted, and maybe... maybe he knew something I didn't about beds. Maybe it would somehow be better? I nodded before I could keep overthinking this. "Okay."

I squealed in surprise when Arrowan suddenly shifted his hold on me and stood up. He laughed as he carried me down the hall, and I pressed a trail of kisses up and down his neck to distract myself from my anxiety.

Arrowan dumped me on the bed and climbed on top of me, holding himself up on his hands and knees. He reached down and pulled the tie out of my hair, spreading it out across the duvet. How could fingers combing through my hair feel like such an intimate act? It really shouldn't have, but it had my need rising again.

His admiring eyes traced over my face, then down across my chest, landing on the pants that had been bunched down lower on my hips than usual and which did nothing to hide just how much I wanted him. "You're perfect," he said.

My cheeks burned at the compliment, and I looked over his body, too. This was one of his tighter shirts, and the way it clung to him clearly showed just how toned his muscles were. His shirt had ridden up to expose a strip of skin and unthinkingly, my hands reached out to trace it. His eyes shut and he seemed to enjoy it, so I grew bolder. My hands slid up, feeling the ridged vee that led down to his pelvis and the hard planes of his abdominal muscles. Goosebumps raised up on his skin where I traced.

Arrowan lasted for less than a minute of my explorations before he lowered himself over me to kiss me again. This was a familiar dance between us, but all this heat between us was new. I kept up my exploration underneath his shirt until he hummed in frustration and separated from me long enough to pull it off. His hands slipped under my shirt, too, and I sat up to help him take it off me.

I don't know where I got the nerve, but I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. I started tugging them down and Arrowan's breath caught. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Arrowan made quick work of removing his pants and mine. Cool air hit my hot skin, sending up more goosebumps, and now when Arrowan lowered himself over me, I could keenly feel his hard length against mine through our underwear. He groaned and I bit my lips in a futile attempt to hold back a groan of my own. Arrowan slid smoothly over me, backwards and forwards as the need swelled again and I felt harder than I had ever been before.

Even though I could feel him much better than before, when we were sitting together with all our clothes on, but it only made me want more. If taking off our pants could make it feel this good, what would it be like if we were totally bare?

The direction of my thoughts had me blushing so hard, I brought a hand up to my cheek and felt the heat pulsing beneath my skin. Arrowan pulled my hand away and kissed each of my cheeks. "You're adorable," he proclaimed.

If only he knew what caused the blush – there was nothing adorable about the direction of my thoughts. I laughed, and more of my nerves faded away. Maybe that's what it was to be with your bond mate. He could make me feel better about anything, it seemed. I might be nervous, but I also felt safe. And I thought...

No, I knew...

I wanted to see what it would be like to have more from him.

Arrowan rolled his hips, and any doubts I had left fled. "Arrowan?" I gasped.

"Mm?" he hummed in response as he kissed a trail down my chest, then down my abdomen. As he went lower, I tensed with the effort it took to restrain myself. If I let myself get lost in the sensation of what he was doing to me, I wouldn't ever get the words out to make this even better.

Arrowan moved back up and captured my lips again, so I communicated what I wanted by slipping my fingers under the waistband of his boxers and sliding them down inch by inch. Arrowan quickly caught on and soon he had us both bare and exposed.

Even though I instigated this and even though I truly did want it, I couldn't help fixing my eyes on his face, since the thought of looking lower was too much for me. Arrowan had no such qualms, and I squirmed as he studied me. When his eyes finally made it back to mine, they were scorching.

"Tell me if you don't feel comfortable at any point and I swear I'll stop," he said. I nodded and he climbed off the bed, grabbed my legs, and pulled me to the side of the bed. "Sit up," he instructed, so I did.

Almost immediately, he wrapped his mouth around my length and sucked hard. It sent my eyes rolling back, which was good since I didn't think I could bear to look at him. If I looked at him, I would think about what was happening, and it was definitely better to just enjoy this.

Arrowan's tongue ran up the center of my penis and wrapped around the head, and I gasped. It felt amazing. Incredible. This might be the best feeling in the world. Arrowan sucked again and slid up and down my shaft until my muscles started bunching and tingling, and I pushed him away before I could erupt in his mouth.

"Wait, stop! I'm too close," I said. Arrowan grinned at that and moved eagerly back down to take me again, but I put my hands on his shoulders to stop him. "What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?" he replied dismissively. "I want to taste you."

Oh, hell.

I squeezed my eyes shut – hardly believing what I was about to agree to – and nodded.

Arrowan chuckled, but soon enough that wonderful, warm heat enclosed me again and I leaned back on my arms as my body went to jelly. It took less than a minute before I was on the brink again, and my breaths came out in little gasps and pants while I barely restrained my hips from moving. Arrowan seemed to know exactly how I felt and what I needed, because without any warning, he cupped my sensitive sack and massaged it gently. I erupted in an orgasm so strong that when I opened my eyes, I swore I saw white. His tongue flicked over my tip and his hand kept up its massaging, which prolonged my orgasm. When I was finally spent, I collapsed back onto the bed.

As I jerked from aftershocks, I could feel that the bond between us had grown again, but instead of the little spurts we'd earned over the past few weeks when we had a particularly connected moment together, the bond had swelled up so it took up more than twice the space inside me. I could keenly feel Arrowan now. He felt exhilarated and satisfied, and when his eyes met mine over the side of the bed, he felt a swell of deep affection that made me feel warm from the inside out.

Arrowan climbed onto the bed and lay down next to me. I looked over just in time to see him wiping off his mouth on the back of his hand. A faint sense of embarrassment sank in – I could still hardly believe what we had just done – but then he smirked at me, looking devilish and handsome and so, so pleased with himself that the embarrassment evaporated. It helped, of course, that I could now feel that he wasn't judging me or feeling any negative emotions at all. He was just happy and proud, and... needy.

"How do you feel?" Arrowan asked.

I lightly swatted at his chest, incapable of doing much more since my limbs still felt shaky and weak. "You know perfectly well how I feel," I said.

"Doesn't mean I can't ask. I'd rather hear it from you."

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the absolute relaxation of my body. Had I ever been able to let go of all my tension like this?

The bed shifted and when I opened my eyes, Arrowan was hovering over me. "You look cozy," he said.

"Mm hm," I agreed, shutting my eyes again.

"Do you mind if I try something? You don't have to do anything."

"Okay," I agreed easily. I normally never would have agreed to anything blindly like this, but it really was hard to feel concerned about it when I felt so wonderful and so safe. In the end, it was good I didn't ask, since I never would have agreed to what he was asking if I knew.