Luin

Fen was off with Lachlan, who had managed to set up a meeting with someone from Ashen Oak Academy. Our best guess was that the meeting was to determine whether Lachlan was part of the supernatural community. When the school representative saw that he was talking to a werewolf and a fae, hopefully they would gain access to the school. Or, at least, to more answers.

With Fen no longer sinking into depression and holed up in his room, I finally had the time to reassess what I was doing with my time. Instead of working my many jobs all around the pack, I hadn't worked at all in weeks. I couldn't even pick up odd jobs in Glenna and Safiya's shop like Arrowan was doing, since all of my sellable magic tricks required me to actually go somewhere – teleporting, tracking, and even my most distasteful magic, compelling the truth out of people. I could do the last one in the shop, but I didn't think it would help my mental state and anyway, usually when people hired me for that, I had to go to them.

Not to say the people going to Arrowan for healing were in an ideal position to travel to him, but since it was the only way he was operating and he was offering a much cheaper rate than other magical healers on the market, he had no shortage of customers.

Meanwhile, I was alone in our home. Everything I could think to clean was already spotless. The refrigerator was packed so full with leftovers it was a struggle to get the door to shut. The freezer had so many prepared meals in it that I was pretty sure we could go the next month without touching a stovetop. There was nothing left for me to do here.

I had told myself over and over that I wouldn't bother Arrowan at work. I wasn't that clingy, I couldn't accept that kind of neediness in myself. I knew how to be alone. I could cope just fine.

But... I didn't want to cope anymore. Arrowan being here was always meant to be the end of my loneliness, and it seemed like my coping mechanisms for it didn't really work anymore. There are only so many hours you could spend meditating or reading before you went crazy.

So, three weeks after Arrowan started taking on healing jobs in the magic shop, I loaded the cupcakes I had made this morning onto a tray and teleported in. They were my excuse for showing up. I might be desperate for company, but I didn't need to look desperate for company.

It felt like I had walked into a get-together, not a place of work. Glenna was sitting by her cauldron, but not actually making anything. Safiya and Roderick were leaning against the front counter, wrapped up in each other and laughing. Arrowan was sitting in a chair by his privacy curtain, lounging and laughing along.

Anger flared. Was this what he was doing every day when he came here? Hanging out between the occasional job while I waited at home?

Okay, the anger was irrational.

That didn't stop me from marching to the counter and setting down the cupcakes as aggressively as I could without knocking them over.

"Luin!" Safiya cried. "And cupcakes!" She immediately pulled away from Roderick and snatched one up. While she downed half of it in one bite, Glenna stood up and walked over to give me a light hug.

"It's good to see you!" she said. I hugged her back, but even Glenna's pureness and her easy welcome weren't enough to cool my anger. I just wasn't enough of a monster to take it out on her.

Arrowan didn't even get up. He smirked at me from across the room and said, "Miss me?"

My brain short-circuited and words came out of my mouth I never thought I'd be capable of, especially with an audience. "Did I miss you? Of course I did. You're my bond mate and you're never around! What kind of question is that?"

I wanted to take them back as soon as they were out. It would be one thing to bring this up in a calm, rational way when Arrowan and I were alone together. It was quite another to snap at him in front of our friends. And Roderick! He barely knew me, so now he would think I was overly emotional and controlling. And clingy.

Anxiety clouded the anger and I looked to Arrowan, nervously waiting for his response. He was frowning a little bit, his eyes studying me without any hint of upset; he just looked concerned. He stood up and strode slowly over to me, sliding an arm around my waist easing me against his body. He pressed a kiss to my forehead while his fingers slipped under the bottom of my shirt and rubbed soothing circles on my skin. "Why don't we get some tea, hm?" he said.

I nodded and let him guide me from the room.

I watched Arrowan move around Glenna and Safiya's kitchen comfortably, almost like he lived here, too. He put on the kettle to boil and pulled out the drawer that had Glenna's little labeled jars of her various mixes of herbs and tea leaves. "What's your pick?" he asked.

"Anything is fine," I said. It was hard to get any words out now that weren't an apology, but I also wasn't ready to apologize. I might have started this conversation badly, but it was a conversation that did need to happen.

Arrowan filled an infuser with a cinnamon plum blend that smelled like Christmas, then leaned back against the counter to wait for the water to be ready. He fixed me with a very direct sort of look and said, "Did you want to talk?"

My throat didn't feel like it would work right, so I just nodded in response. He seemed to be waiting for more, but after a few moments of me staring at him with wide, pleading eyes, he nodded a bit. "I know it's hard to be shut in that house all the time."

And suddenly, I felt like crying. He understood. Of course he did. So why had he been spending so much time here?

Arrowan cupped a hand over my cheek and gently tipped my face up toward his. "I know this is a lot right now, but I promise, I'm doing everything I can to make things better for us."

"What does that mean?" I asked. Surely he understood money wasn't going to solve our problems, and he was here for work. I had plenty for us to live on since I had never been one to spend much – except on my wardrobe – and I had spent the past year and a half with very few expenses and the equivalent of two full-time jobs in working hours.

Arrowan eased back, frowning a little. "I don't want you to worry," he said, and I knew he was hoping I would let the subject drop there. Not a chance. I lifted a brow and waited for more. Arrowan cleared his throat and added, "I've been working on a plan to get the Unseelie off our backs. I think we're close."

"We?" I prodded, irritation stirring again. Just who was included in this plan, when this was the first I was hearing about it?

"Yeah, well... Roderick's been helping me."

Roderick?

Roderick?

Arrowan was working out a problem that affected both of us with someone he had only recently met? Someone who wasn't even involved in this?

Arrowan set his hands on my shoulders and said, "I know, okay? I know what you're thinking. But he grew up studying witchcraft and even went to a boarding school for witches instead of a normal high school. He can do a lot to help us."

The kettle screeched and Arrowan spun to deal with it while I thought over what he was saying. He had a solid argument for including Roderick. I hadn't heard any reason for not including me, though. "Why haven't you said anything?" I asked once the tea was steeping.

"I told you, I didn't want to worry you," was Arrowan's completely inadequate answer.

"I'm already worried, Arrowan. This impacts every waking hour of my life. How could I not be worried?"

He looked uncertain for the first time since all this started. "I wanted to protect you," he said, and this time I believed him.

"I can help." He frowned and opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "No. I deserve to help. So tell me, what's the plan so far?"

He sighed and glanced at the clock. "We don't have enough time to go through it all before my next appointment. Can we talk about this later?"

Maybe I should just ask Roderick, I thought nastily. The vitriol in my own mind was uncomfortable, and it was enough to have me take a mental step back and admit that taking a little time to absorb all this was probably a good idea. Hearing about the plan – and hopefully integrating into it – would go much smoother if I wasn't so emotional.

"Fine. But we will talk about this later," I agreed.

Arrowan pulled the infuser out of my mug and set it in its holder, then handed the steaming mug to me. It did smell divine – few things in the world were as delicious as Glenna's brews. It was one of the things that first drew me to this place, other than the job board. In fact, if it weren't for the number of times I had come in just to buy a cup of tea and chat with Glenna, I might never have become friends with any of the Earth natives I knew. I wouldn't have met Lachlan or moved in with his wolf pack. I wouldn't have a safe house to hole up in with Arrowan. I owed Glenna so much.

As my thoughts carried me further away from the Unseelie and Arrowan plotting against them behind my back, I started to naturally calm down. When he leaned down for a kiss, I sank into it.

"I'm sorry I made you feel left out."

The problem wasn't that I felt left out, but that I was left out. I didn't want to argue and it didn't feel as worth getting upset over anymore, so I just nodded and took another sip of my tea. "Not again, okay?" I asked.

"Okay."

And I let that be the end of it.

--

Later that night, I sat down at the dining room table with a hodgepodge spread of various meals we had brought over and reheated from our refrigerator and freezer. When we first started piling casserole dishes and storage containers on their kitchen counter, Safiya had laughed and Glenna had tried to protest, saying we should save some food for ourselves. Then we went back for another stack of containers, and everyone laughed when we added them to the pile.

"What are you guys, prepared food hoarders?" Safiya asked.

"Do you know something about doomsday we don't?" Roderick added.

"Are you sure about bringing over all of this?" Glenna said, concerned.

"I'm not sure we grabbed enough," Arrowan answered. "I just want to be able to shut the fridge door again."

That set off another round of laugher, and Glenna finally seemed to accept the situation. She helped me get everything reheated and half an hour later, here we were – settled around the table with a strange collection of foods that didn't really go together. The conflicting scents would probably have driven Lachlan and Magnus crazy, with their sensitive werewolf noses, but they weren't here. It was just me, Arrowan, and the three witches.

I filled my plate with mashed potatoes, lasagna, and tapas, then looked to my bond mate. "So, what's this plan you've been working on?"

He groaned and took a bite of fried chicken before answering. "Can't this wait until after we eat?" he asked around the food in his mouth. I swatted at his shoulder and he winked at me, totally unrepentant.

"We've been trying to work out how to fake Arrowan's death," Roderick said. He scooped up a bite of food as though we weren't talking about anything more stressful than the weather.

"That sounds dangerous," I said. My mind worked through different possibilities and no matter what it came up with, Arrowan couldn't fake his own death without getting way too close to the Unseelie that were after him. They had to see him to think he was dead, right?

Arrowan set down his chicken and wiped his hands on his pants – the slob – before laying a comforting hand on my thigh. He squeezed gently and said, "I'm trying to make it as safe as possible, but what's really dangerous is having assassins after us for the rest of our lives. If there's a way to stop them from coming after us, it's worth a little risk."

I hated that he was right. I didn't want to agree with him – I wanted to tell him no, to tell him I wasn't going to let him risk himself, and maybe even to storm off dramatically from the table. If I was going to develop a reputation around here for being overly emotional, I might as well earn it.

But I didn't do any of that, because Arrowan was right. We couldn't go on like this forever, and if I tried pushing him on this, he might start shutting me out of their planning again. At least if I helped them plan, I could be sure Arrowan was as safe as we could make him.

"So, what's the plan so far?" I asked when I was done working through it all in my head.

Arrowan squeezed my thigh again, then released me and went back to eating. We finished our hodgepodge dinner while they laid everything out.