Luin

I was torn. After our lunch, Arrowan and I went back home and settled amid the sea of shopping bags, pulling out the clothing I'd bought him and painstakingly removing the tags from each item.

While Arrowan was focused on a pair of pants that had several tags to cut off, I studied him as covertly as I could manage. Already, I was getting used to how strange he looked with his extreme coloring – the skin that was paler than I'd ever seen and the shock-white hair and all the darkness that played across the planes of his body – those shadows that stretched far larger on him than on anyone or anything else. There was something captivating about them, something that had my fingers itching to trace over his skin.

"Did you need something?" Arrowan said, and I realized he'd caught me staring.

I quickly looked back down at the sweater I was de-tagging and tried in vain to fight back a blush. If familiarity wasn't enough to prevent this ceaseless blushing around him, I'd have to see if Glenna or Safiya could make me some kind of potion. It was getting too embarrassing. "No, I don't need anything" I replied once I knew my voice would be steady.

Silence fell again, but not for long. Someone knocked on the front door, sending Arrowan leaping to his feet while my heart raced. I might not have been as worried as he was when he explained how the Unseelie would be coming after us, but I was feeling a little jumpy over it. I squinted at the walls, using my magic to inspect the wards I'd set over the house. They glowed with shimmering strands of warm yellow light, telling me they weren't feeling threatened by whoever was here.

That didn't mean the person on the other side of the door wasn't a threat, though. It just meant the person hadn't used any magic on the house so far. I teleported to the door and, heart pounding, looked out the peephole. When I saw Glenna and Safiya, I heaved a sigh of relief.

"It's okay," I said to a tense-looking Arrowan before I opened the door.

"We're here to reinforce your wards," Safiya said, skipping completely over traditional greetings and getting straight to the point as was her habit.

"You were going to call us over in a little while, but now works better for us if you don't mind," Glenna explained, and I laughed a little. It was always strange dealing with her foresight magic. She only caught glimpses and flashes, and never very far out into the future, but she was always accurate.

"Thank you both for coming." I glanced over my shoulder, expecting to still see Arrowan tensed on the other side of the room. Instead, he was standing directly behind me, and I jumped a bit at his unexpected closeness. How had I not heard him coming?

"Arrowan, this is Glenna and Safiya. They're sisters, witches, and good friends of mine. They're also Lachlan's cousins – you met him earlier, remember? Glenna and Safiya, this is Arrowan. He's my bond mate."

Predictably, Safiya squealed in excitement. She stepped into the house and nudged me to the side so she could fling her arms around Arrowan in a tight hug. Glenna gently took her arm and pulled her away from him, leaving Arrowan looking kind of dazed.

"You'll get used to her," I promised.

He smiled a little and said, "It's lovely to meet you both."

"I have so many questions for you!" Safiya said eagerly, and I shot a pleading look at Glenna. I still had so much to learn about Arrowan, and I wanted to learn it from him on my own. Maybe that was selfish, but I couldn't deny that I wanted to be the one asking the questions.

Glenna pulled her wand out of its holster at her hip and said, "We need to be back home soon, remember? Let's just build up these wards and get to know Arrowan later."

Safiya hesitated and I said, "Why don't we plan a dinner? Lachlan and Magnus can come, too."

Safiya grinned and nodded. "How about Friday? That'll give us plenty of time to prepare."

I glanced at Arrowan, who shrugged and nodded. "Okay," I agreed. "Friday it is."

With that taken care of – and Safiya successfully diverted – the sisters got to work tracing painstakingly over each outer wall in the house and muttering incantations as threads of magic streamed out of their wands and wove into the protections already binding the place. The wards here were already strong, but I felt better knowing they were getting a tune-up. Arrowan seemed very certain people would be coming after us, and we needed to be ready when they did.

--

For the rest of the week, Arrowan and I simply lived together and got to know each other. It felt almost too casual, too easy, and we didn't talk about any of the hard issues. I didn't tell him about how much I struggled when I came here alone. I didn't tell him about the wrenching decision to leave my family or about the way loneliness used to eat away at me, especially at night.

Now at nighttime, I could feel how close he was through our bond, and sleeping became easier than ever before. I felt so secure with him here, even though he wasn't in the same room and even though he had brought danger with him when he left Alterra.

At Magnus' insistence, I took that first week off from work, contributing absolutely nothing to the wolf pack that had done so much for my happiness. It felt wrong, but he pointed out that I usually worked far too many hours, since I liked to take on jobs all over the pack in order to spend time with a bigger variety of people. Magnus insisted I was owed some paid time off, and I was enjoying getting to know Arrowan enough that I didn't argue too hard against him.

On Thursday – Arrowan's fourth day on Earth – I went back to the Tourmaline pack territory to renew their wards, feeling like a fugitive as I darted around the perimeter weaving the magic. Magnus might have put me on vacation, but the wards worked best when they were properly maintained and I wasn't going to leave my pack with holes in their defenses just to spend an extra couple of hours with my bond mate.

As I worked my way around the perimeter, I kept a fraction of my awareness on my soul bond. It was a little uncomfortable being stretched even a little bit now after a few days spent with Arrowan so close, but that was all I really felt down it. The bond told me he was alive and how close he was, but nothing more.

I knew from talking with Magnus and Lachlan that werewolf mating bonds were capable of a lot more. They could be used to communicate telepathically and to feel each other's emotions. Sometimes the way they talked about their bond made it sound like they could immerse themselves into the other's mind – an intimacy that had horrified me and made me jealous in equal parts when I heard about it.

What would it be like to be so connected to someone? Intrusive, certainly, but... maybe also kind of wonderful? If you trusted the person you were linked to enough, if you loved them enough and were secure enough in their love for you, wouldn't it be freeing to be known so thoroughly by another? You would never be alone again.

So why was my bond with Arrowan so impersonal?

I already had so much of what I had always dreamed of – so much of what I had sacrificed for – and I knew I needed to learn to be happy with that. Still, a part of me yearned for even more. Had I always been so greedy?

My thoughts carried me all the way through the ward strengthening, and it felt like minutes had passed rather than nearly two hours when I was finished. I was still in a fog of thought when I teleported back into our living room. Instantly, I was distracted by delicious aromas coming from the kitchen and I followed my nose all the way to Arrowan, who was standing at the stove, stirring. He smiled when he saw me, but as his eyes searched my face, his smile waned.

"Luin? Are you okay?"

He took a couple of steps toward me, holding his arms between us in hesitant invitation. I eased into them and was folded into a warm embrace that had me crying.

The tears baffled me, but I couldn't deny that they were soaking into the fabric of his shirt where I pressed myself against him. I clutched at Arrowan with trembling fingers and fought to regain my composure while my mind spun.

"Luin?" he prodded gently. "What happened?"

"I have no idea what's wrong with me. Nothing happened," I said, and Arrowan's arms tightened around me in response.

When I was calm again, Arrowan cautiously pulled away. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "I made dinner."

It was then that I made the connection between my sudden sadness and the wonderful smells that had led me into the kitchen. It smelled like home. Like Alterra. Like Sunday afternoons with my family, when my mother would insist on everyone gathering together at the table. For the rest of the week, she always accepted that we all had different schedules and priorities. She'd pack me picnics to share with Fen as we had our childish adventures around the neighborhood and the rest of the family would eat whenever they tramped in for the night, but on Sundays... Sundays were for family time.

It might not be Sunday now, but the stew on the stove behind us smelled just like one my mother used to make all the time, and I could swear the bread on a cooling rack on the counter had come straight out of an Alterran bakery.

I looked up at Arrowan, who was still watching me with concern, and couldn't help hugging him again. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear. "Thank you so much for making this."

"I'm sorry if it made you sad," he said. "I didn't realize you'd feel that way."

"No!" I pulled back so he could see just how much I meant it. "This is wonderful. I just... I got a little overwhelmed. It won't happen again."

He nodded, but I could see that he wasn't convinced. I didn't know how to reassure him other than not crying again, so I got out bowls and spoons for us and ladled out the stew while Arrowan sliced the bread and put it on a platter in the center of the table. I eagerly reached out for the bread, dunked it in the stew and took a heavenly bite that brought me back to so many childhood afternoons. An embarrassing hum of pleasure escaped me, but I didn't dwell on it – I was too busy shoveling in another bite.

I could eat this every meal for days and never complain, I thought happily.

"I'm glad you like it," Arrowan said, sounding much brighter than before.

I beamed at him. "This is the best meal I've had in over a decade," I said, and I meant it.

Arrowan had a hunk of dripping bread halfway between the bowl and his mouth, but he seemed frozen, staring at me. I grabbed a napkin and dabbed at my mouth – why else would he be staring like that if not for something on my face? – but the napkin came back clean. I shot him a questioning look and he shook his head a little. "Your eyes," he said. "They're so bright. I've seen it happen before, but I always thought it was a trick of the light."

And just like that, my cheeks heated again. Thank goodness my skin wasn't as pale as his – I was counting on my darker complexion to help cover up just how often he flustered me. "Not a trick of the light," I confirmed. "It's a reaction to my magic."

I intentionally left out that I wasn't working any magic right now. When I was feeling particularly strong positive emotions, I lost control of my magic and some of radiated out of me, making my skin and eyes glow and ensuring I never had any emotional privacy. Arrowan reached tentatively across the table and took my hand, pulling it closer and studying it while his hand traced lightly over my skin. I struggled to get a grip on my emotions and managed to dim the glow, and Arrowan released me.

"It's beautiful," he said, and I could see how earnestly he meant it.

Stop complimenting me! I can't take it!

I would have voiced the words if the idea didn't make me feel even more self-conscious. Instead, I focused on the heavenly bowl of stew in front of me. Nothing could be truly wrong when I had a meal like this to share with my bond mate.

After we were done eating, I tried to force Arrowan to relax in the living room while I cleaned up – it seemed only fair after he spent so much time cooking. He refused, as usual. The bread in particular had to have been started earlier today while I was reading or doing chores, since I remembered how long my mother used to prove it for. No way could he have made the dough, kneaded it, proved it, and baked it in the couple of hours I was gone. The thought of him baking in secret had me laughing to myself while I scrubbed out the stew pot.

"What is it?" Arrowan asked.

I shook my head. "Just thinking."

We finished cleaning quickly with both of us working together and headed to the living room, settling in on the couch facing the television. Arrowan had the remote, and he turned on the TV, flipping through channels until he settled on National Geographic, which was showing another depressing documentary about how doomed this planet was while simultaneously showing gorgeous frames of forest and sea life.

We had spent a couple of evenings like this, settled in side-by-side on the couch while Arrowan learned about the world much like I had – through a screen. This time was different, though. I was more comfortable with him now, and he had cooked such a lovely meal, and the way he had looked at me during dinner... the way those vibrant eyes of his had focused on me like I mattered so much...

Without fully thinking things through, I scooted over on the couch until I was right next to Arrowan. He looked down at me and the surprise in his eyes was quickly replaced by warmth. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me so I was leaning against him, my head resting against his chest as his arm slid down my side to rest at my waist.

Even though the TV was showing adorable seals darting through the water, I shut my eyes. I spent the rest of the program feeling utterly content resting in my bond mate's arms.