One drink got me glaring across the room at the man I couldn't have, wishing I'd fought harder before Ysac claimed him.

Two drinks in, and I was dazed, drowning in attention from men I didn't care for and women asking me for beauty advice.

After three drinks, I'd lost all my inhibitions and no longer pushed anyone away. As they drawled on about their boring lives and basked me in compliments that I'd already heard thousands of times, I sipped on drink number four, begging the alcohol to put me to sleep.

Or to dull my senses enough that I wouldn't be standing in agony, admiring a man I'd never get my hands on unless I employed less-than-decent methods.

I didn't want to stoop so low, but I'd have to. To assuage this desire once and for all, I needed a taste, one single burst of flavor from Teodric's lips. A feel of him inside me, filling me up. His fingertips tracing my hips, around my nipples, sliding into my—

I shuddered.

Hopefully that one touch would suffice. I might combust if it didn't happen soon enough.

"What about the young advisor from Lily Port?" A lady nudged me—some nobleman's wife who'd decided we were friends for the night. Her voice annoyed me.

I was a princess, for goodness' sake, not some sappy, silly girl she could befriend and gossip with. And the nudging—it irked me to the point of nearly slapping her several times.

But I knew better. Gwenore had spotted me and was watching me. If I wasn't on my best behavior, she'd have something to say. If I threw a fit because women tried to befriend me, she'd have me shipped off far, far away.

She might send me back to Diamond Valley, and then I'd never get a shot with my dearest Teodric.

"No, he's too vain," said another woman who'd been cramped at my side all night. The daughter of the Count of Club Fields; my uncle. She kept calling me cousin as if I'd known her all my life, when this was my first time laying eyes on her.

"You're right," said a third and final member of my unwanted posse, a lady from Hart Bay. Dressed in a gown almost as revealing as mine, but not as flattering. "The lord from Flower Harbor is more her type."

I loved how they spoke of my "type" in front of me, as if I weren't there. As if I couldn't choose for myself. As if they even knew what my "type" was.

I had chosen; it so happened the man I wanted was currently—and temporarily—available.

Lords and advisors and prissy boys? Who in their right mind thought that'd be enough for me? I wanted a prince, and there was one in the room. One I should have had access to, but someone else took him from me.

And to make matters worse, Tilda prevented me from getting near him. After Gwenore's introductory toast—once everyone had prostrated at her feet to swear fealty—my youngest sister had raced over to me and flanked me with these three abominable women.

"They'll keep you company tonight," she'd said, blocking my view of Teodric and Ysac as they danced together. "And they may have insight on some companions for later," she'd winked, "after the party."

I knew what she was doing. Distracting me so I wouldn't pounce on Teodric. Saving him. It was a sound tactic, for sure. Especially since every sip of wine made me more and more desirous of this prince I couldn't have.

Knowing he was in Ysac's arms made me growl. Knowing he'd come here with Tilda, escorting her instead of me, made me furious. It was betrayal across the board; my sisters choosing Ysac over me? The nerve.

I tried not to clutch my goblet too hard. "I appreciate the concern, ladies, but I think I can pick out my own prospects." It was my first time talking, addressing these women, in what felt like hours. I'd let them ramble on and on in my presence, giving me a migraine; and it was time I took my leave of them.

But as I meandered away from the windows, where I'd planted for a great view of the ballroom, they followed me. They continued gabbing on and on about eligible men, throwing out names of those they thought I'd enjoy.

They were to occupy me, but they weren't listening to me, not in the slightest.

"Highness," the one claiming to be my cousin said, "is it true that you are...open?"

I peered at her, eyebrows raising. "Open? Please be specific." I nuzzled my drink to my chest, reveling in the cool texture of the cup against my bosom.

No one had touched that bosom in forever. I hadn't had any escapades of late, and I had to admit I was lonely. Unloved. Untouched. I needed affection, but I only wanted it from the one person who continued to reject me.

"Open, as in..." she cleared her throat and angled closer to me, "not restricting yourself to men?"

I didn't show my surprise at her comments but glared at her. "Those are heavy implications."

But true.

Yes, I had vagabonded away from men for a spell. I'd absolutely enjoyed the touch of a woman more than one time and had no trouble confessing I'd liked it. The softness, the delicious taste between their legs, the plumpness of breasts, roundness of gorgeous buttocks; I'd been unable to refuse advances from women many times in the past.

But most courtiers didn't know that about me. I wondered how my dear cousin had found out.

"Are they not true?" Cousin grimaced, shaking her head. "If so, then please do forgive my indiscretion. I'll have to speak with my sources."

I wanted to know who those sources were but didn't bare my teeth at her; she didn't know it was a secret. She didn't know she'd roused my anger more by suggesting such things.

She didn't know anything.

"While it is true," I said, guzzling down half my beverage, "it's not a widespread notion, and I'd prefer if it stayed that way."

Sleeping with all genders wasn't outlawed in Acewood. It was widely accepted, and more so now that Gwenore had endorsed Teodric and Ysac's future union. But I didn't need everyone to be aware of my preferences. Men already came from all over to woo me, but if word got out that I liked women, too?

I'd be overwhelmed.

"And in any case," I narrowed my gaze on my plainly garbed, unnoticeable cousin, "I'm more on the market for something with girth between their legs, tonight."

Simply said: I wanted a cock. I wanted to be tossed onto a bed, my dress ripped in half, my legs spread with such vigor that I lost my breath. I wanted something hard and thick to penetrate me and fuck me until my brain turned off. Until my body succumbed.

And I wanted Teodric to do that.

Thinking of him, I sighted him across the room, canoodling with his lover. My blood boiled and I tilted the rest of my drink into my mouth.

"Men it is, then," Cousin said, resuming scouring the area for an appropriate match for the night.

The other two women had, thankfully, wandered off to the buffet for another round of food. I wouldn't complain; dealing with Cousin was hard enough, but with the two of them yapping about, I considered retiring from the party early.

One glance in Gwenore's direction told me that'd be a bad idea, and she wouldn't let me live it down.

"Be there for me," she'd told me earlier today. "Be on your best behavior and represent the royal family. Don't draw attention."

I snickered as I dipped my cup into the nearest drink fountain, replenishing it.

Would my fifth drink finally put me into a temporary coma?

I found Teodric again, his maroon ensemble clashing with the silver and navy decor. He stood out—of course he did, handsome as he was—and it grew difficult to look away from him.

Had I been his beloved, I'd have stopped him from wearing such a color. Teodric should have been in golds and blues, decked out like a perfect prince. I'd have tamed his unruly tresses away from his head and powdered his face to make it glow. I'd have covered him in jewels and kisses, and he'd be the star of the night. Everything he deserved to be.

But no, he'd chosen Ysac. Ysac, the hot jester, draped in dreadful violet, matching his eyes. I gagged; who did that? Who wore an outfit the same color as their eyes? Abominable.

He was only a jester. An instrument-playing, glorified bodyguard. He wasn't a prince, wasn't deserving of someone as pure and magnificent as Teodric. He was a nobody! A ward taken in by Father, turning bad at Otho's nefarious influence, then regaining favor with a bat of his pretty eyelashes.

It wasn't fair. And it all made less and less sense in my mind as the night wore on.

Why didn't Teodric see his mistake? Sure, Ysac was dashing, charming, even; but I was so much more. I was heavenly, a decadent delicacy. A lavish package of perfection underneath. My wondrous curves, my dizzyingly well-formed bosom, my ass that swayed men and women into my bed. Couldn't Teodric see all that? Or was he completely blind?

I scowled at the doorway, where Tilda had sauntered off to. She was allowed to flurry from group to group, entertaining and chatting and laughing. Of course, Gwenore trusted her, knew she wouldn't stick her claws into things that didn't belong to her.

Teodric should have belonged to me.

Tilda was tasked with many things tonight. Things that took her away from me and left me vulnerable to these babbling baboons. Things that made me available to any man who dared to take a chance flirting with a princess.

Tilda interrogated ladies she considered for Gwenore's ladies-in-waiting; even though we were Gwenore's ladies-in-waiting already. Why did Gwenore need more? Did she want more?

Knowing Gwenore, she didn't want any at all, not even us.

My mind whirred with questions and comments, my tongue loosening by the second. If I didn't quit drinking soon, I'd become impossible to handle. I'd embarrass Gwenore, and as much as she vexed me, I couldn't do that.

I wouldn't. Not after everything she'd done for me.

Tilda surfaced beside me so quickly, I wondered if I'd blacked out for a few minutes.

"You're drunk," she said, with one sweep of her gaze over my swaying figure.

"And?" I hiccupped. "I didn't realize that wasn't allowed."

"It's not for you," she hissed, taking my arm and dragging me away from the drink fountains. Had I plunged my cup in again for drink number six? I couldn't recall. "You get out of control with wine, remember?"

I scoffed and snorted at the same time, making it sound like I'd blown a big raspberry. Very unladylike. "No one cares about me, so why does it matter?"

Tilda pinched my arm. "Everyone cares about you. You just can't see past the man you're not allowed to have."

I giggled. "Touché!"

She shook her head at me. "I'm going to make an executive decision here and cut you off from the drinks." My jaw dropped exaggeratedly, but she wouldn't let me interfere. "And I'm going to pick out a few options to escort you out of the ballroom soon, so you won't further embarrass yourself."

"Embarrass? Me?" I fanned my flushed face, my vision blurring at the edges. Oh, yes, she was right; I was drunk, most definitely.

But that meant I'd be less picky about my options. Already the image of Teodric dissipated from my mind, his face foggy, his body unrecognizable.

That was what I'd been chasing all night, without knowing it—erasure. Disappearance. A means to get Teodric off my mind.

Apparently, that happened after six beverages. I'd have to remember that.

"Over there." Tilda pointed at a cluster of bulky, stiff-backed men. Soldiers. "They can handle your capricious needs, can't they?"

I cocked my head, contemplating her offer. I had been with soldiers before, but they tended to be a bit more brutish than I preferred. Drunk as I was, though, I'd take anything. And I'd likely need someone bigger and more intense to truly reach any sort of climax.

"Hmm," I said, pouting my lips. "Potentially." I scratched at my chin, watching these men as they turned to me, ogled me without scruple. I smiled. "Yes, actually. They're bold enough to intrigue me. Let me go have a chat with them."

"You do that," said Tilda, her voice distant as I walked away from her.

"Gentlemen," I said, arriving before the soldiers, batting my lashes. I pretended to fawn over them and tugged my lip between my teeth, enticing. "Would anyone care for a nightcap later, with me?"

They all said yes, and that left me the choice of one of them—or all of them at once, if I so chose.

My center swelled with anticipation. So much attention, all for me.

Your loss, Teodric.

♥♦♣♠