"It all happened so fast."

Sirens

"We were in the living room; watching the superbowl."

Voices

"There was this loud noise..."

Blood

"Th-there was shouting a-a-and screaming and lights and blood, s-so much blood."

Crying

"He was-" I choke, memories from that night overwhelming  me.

Footsteps

"He was dead."

Darkness

        *********************

I look up to the clear skies, the "remorseful" crowds are long gone, their empty apologies and platonic pats on the back or sympathetic squeezes on my shoulder finally faded. Once again it was just me and him, like it's always been...

I stare right at the stone.

                   Here lies Anzai Kyoto,

                               Father
                               Friend
                             Husband

                     He will be missed.

My breathing hardens, my hands balled into fists as I narrow my eyes at the stone printed with lies, "You, look at what you've done to me, but you never cared and I knew it. So why am I crying? Why do my tears fall for a heartless bastard?"

"Maybe because despite what you said, despite the bruises and the broken bones. You were the only one left, the only one who could validate me, the only one who could ever make me feel like I'm worth... anything."

"Everytime you lost it, I'd stare right into your eyes for even a drop of love or affection. A small sign that I wasn't a mistake, but you gazed at me like I was a rat crawling around your home where I'm not wanted."

"And if the one person who created doesn't love you, who will?"

No one.

"You used to love me, you used to love us, you acted like her death didn't hurt me too, like it didn't break me too..."

Glaring at the block of stone where my "loving" father lay. I think about the past years and all the pain he's caused me, I think about the drinking, I think about the knife...

"YOU BROKE WHAT WAS LEFT OF ME! YOU MADE US SUFFER YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!"

I growl, shoving my stiff, cold hands in my pockets and walking away, but not before kicking the dirt where my father lay. He got what he deserved but I still feel the burning tears falling, falling for a monster who I wanted, no, needed to love me. I scan the gloomy area, most gravestones surrounded by flowers and some visited by loved ones seeking council; others stand alone in the scary corners where no one goes. Shaking my head I walk towards the small wicket gate, but my soul is desperate, screaming inside me to go back, to go back and see if this time he'll love me even if he's 6 feet under.

He broke it, it's so lost it's so lonely; it has no best friend to confide in or loved one to be held by. It's been corrupted and thrown into darkness, with no eyes or limbs it can only writhe in agony begging for anything to take it back to innocence. But no one can....

I close my eyes and step onto the stone sidewalk littered with yellow leaves. I turn right, walking toward the lighthouse, the only place that gives me peace.

A beautiful blue tower at the edge of a grassy cliff,overlooking the sapphire sea. Daisies and violets surround the serene area along with an old wooden bench facing towards the shimmering water.

I keep my head down as I walk on the sidewalk, making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone. After a few more blocks I pass the old cathedral, standing tall with its rusty appearance. I take a minute to look at the old bell hanging at the top, I'd climb there as a kid and me and my friends engraved our names on the bronze relic. My friends grew up and moved on, for those who stayed we pretty much avoid each other after the incident 12 years ago.

Breathing in, I cross the road and walk down the dirt path till I reach the oak bench. I sit down and close my eyes. Listening to everything and nothing, feeling the moist breeze and warm sun. I remove my worn converse and socks, rolling my toes in the soft grass. The same thougt runs through my mind as a mantra.  That right here...the only renmant of my once untroubled  family, I'm safe.

I pull down my hood and let my dark hair free. Smelling the flower scented air I can't help but smile. I embrace the silence that's filled with nature's whispers. It's peaceful, unlike the banter of the real world or as they call it, "politics." I remember the nights I'd spend here with my parents, most of them with my mom. Whenever Dad worked a double shift we'd come out here and look at the stars, if it rained we'd watch from the car. Endless tickle fights and karaoke filled those nights. I turn to look at the old lighthouse, "Mom, how did everything go away so fast."

Drawing my knees to my chest and resting my head on them, I stare at the old building. Behind the worn tower I see the sun saying goodbye, pinks and oranges paint the purple sky. I look up and see streams of clouds dancing and swirling with the colors. What did mom call it again? "The dance of the fleeing sun," my raspy voice whispers as the tears fall faster. I let out a bitter laugh at the memory, its hoarseness clashing with the cricket's beautiful song. Closing my eyes I let my tears fall. Something I do almost every time at the lighthouse.

But....I don't really know why anymore. With all the feelings I've suppressed I don't even know how to begin to feel sad. Should I even be sad, or angry, or happy? I've buried too much to start to feel.

I fall to my knees and then fall  down to my back, not caring about getting my black clothing grassy. Looking up at the starry night. I close my sore eyes and focus on my breath, releasing my mind to go to my silent spot. My body warms and muscles relax; giving me peace.

My moment was short lived as a sudden scream shreds the peaceful air and rips me from my calm.

"HELP ME, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!"

A/N:

Eeeeey first chapter, you like?
I'm not quite the fan of scary things which is why this isn't frightening...for now so staaay tuned and give that star button some loooooove.

I will be continuing with The Tainted Angel so keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter or if you haven't read it GO CHECK IT OOOUUUT!!

Otherwise I hope you like this book don't be silent about it comment what you think and any ideas.

See you next week!

Peace to all humans <3

-Sententious1