#92 The Crazy Side Of Love
The Crazy Side of Love by @makayla_ED
You need commas to split clauses. Commas weren't really there in general which made reading quite difficult.
There=not here
Their=belongs to them
They're=they are
Basic grammar needed improving. Like the conjugation of verbs and apostrophes of possession.
At one point you had many exclamation marks. I don't think you need quite so many as one normally does the job.
The prologue definitely needs editing. (Myabe start with paragraph breaks).
I mentioned lots of things in the first paragraph. Use this as an example and apply it to the rest.
New speaker=new line
An + vowel
It was sometimes a little confusing as to who was Seth. I think it may have been down to the dialogue and putting things in the same line.
The 1st chapter was a lot better. Keep it up!
Blond=male
Blonde=female
Commas before names.
Great tension in the prologue. It made me want to keep reading!
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