Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379
CHAPTERS 14-16

Very occasional comma splices (but I mean very little).

The paragraphs at the beginning were amazing! Your writing style has really improved and is a lot more sophisticated now!

Like I explained in the comments, for interruption you need the long dash which is two small dashes worked with a little magic in MS Word. This is more complex though, and it's the first time I've had to explain it to anyone in the critiques book so well done on getting this far, I guess! :)

Very occasional apostrophes of possession but you've mainly eradicated those now.

I could tell from this that you're a really dedicated and hard-working individual who really tries to learn from their mistakes. Honestly, hats off to you. That's what I call taking feedback on board and moulding it into shape.

Good details with the blonde and Blake. That was funny. The scene with the blonde and Hannah was great! Keep scenes as tense as this throughout.

Blond=male
Blonde=female
Don't ask me why^^

Slight commas before names but meh, not much.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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