Ten by @__Yoshi__

There were barely any mistakes in this. Apart from :)....

Very prominent comma splices. Don't worry - these can be fixed with a semi colon. I'd still go through and make sure you don't have any.

I remember someone saying in the comments that you hadn't gotten the symptoms for food poisoning right. But then we soon realised that it wasn't food poisoning at all. XD In that case maybe add in a bit about how Max is unsure.

Commas before names.

Good character development. I liked how this development reflected the reality of the situation (like Kate being snobby as she was a princess).

For dialogue, you need to keep it consistent. You often had some capitals where they needn't have been and some commas were forgotten about and were instead placed with full stops.

Some word phrasing like 'better hear' and 'peel the chair from me' were a little confusing and could be definitely reworded.

The scene where they go to the shopping centre reminded me ever so slightly of a wattpad book called the Last She. I never got round to finishing it but hey, that bit stuck with me.

Overall, a fantastic three chapters!! The plotting was excellent as were the characters. Brilliant!

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