The Forgotten Planet by @aWriterWithDreamzz

Only a few minor cases of the apostrophe of possession (the example about the Princess that I commented for you.)

I think it was very wise of you to write the prologue in italics. However, putting words of emphasis in bold isn't the standard format. There's nothing wrong with it but I think it would be better to have them in normal format (so with no italics) so that it stands out. Like this:

I went to the shops today and they were selling this big loaf of bread.

See how 'big' stands out here? Well I think you had an example which was the word 'great' or something.

Regarding dialogue - you don't always need a comma before staring the dialogue unless it leads on from what you're saying before and most of the time it didn't. I tried to mark up most of these for you but it would still be a good idea to go through and double check. Same goes for the lower case at the beginning of the speech.

Commas before names. An example is when Addane is speaking and she says:

"Hello there Gerald."

THIS NEEDS TO BE:

"Hello there, Gerald."

Good established characters. They were all rounded and it was only the first chapter!!

Comma splices were present where semi colons and full stops would have worked better.

Overall, the plot was great. It reminds me of a book called the Diabolic which is amazing if you ever get time to read it (it's an actual book but I think I saw the prologue on wattpad somewhere. It has a picture of a butterfly on it).

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