Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379
CHAPTERS 6-8

You need commas before names.

Some good use of italics for effect.

Paragraph breaks are still a problem (where you only skipped one line instead of the usual two).

Dialogue shouldn't be continued past the middle dialogue tag unless it's all one sentence.

You had comma splices.

Apostrophes of possession were a LOT better this time! :)

Dialogue (again!) was a big issue. The main problem was where you'd put the dialogue tag as a capital when in theory it should be a lower case. And also you need a comma before you close the speech mark too. These were the areas that I marked with a #.

Overall, I can really see where this story is going! Plotting is excellent - it's just grammar you need to focus on.

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