#56 Hunter's Shadow

Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379
CHAPTERS 3-5

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

I can tell you've really taken care with the editing here. There weren't half as many mistakes as the last time I read the first few chapters.

When writing dialigue you don't need the second comma (I vaguely remember telling you this in the last critique.)

You still need to work on your apostrophe of possession.

The actual dialogue has improved since the last time - it's a lot more effective and it flows better.

Good character development. I had an immediate like for Doc and Jenni.

You also need commas to split subordinate clauses from main ones.

Overall, a very good attempt. I can really see from where you edited from last time and you've taken my comments into to consideration (the ellipsises especially!!)

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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