The Tangled Princess by @nonameleftxx

This started off very strong - it was an immediate pull into the world of magic, which was great.

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

More standard description would have been nice (especially when describing the mate).

Good world-building, and having included subtle things into the world description worked well.

In dialogue you need a comma at the end before the speech mark. And then you need to have the 'said' bit in lower case after that.

Commas come before names.

Good development with the main character in the first chapter or so.

Tense jumps was a big problem. You started off your story in past but then there would be times when you would slip into the present tense for multiple paragraphs at a time. I would go through and change everything to past when you edit.

Overall, a good start. I like how you've already established conflict.

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