#52 The Art Of Retribution
The Art Of Retribution by candleblythe
I found the start to be very intriguing. It sucked me right in.
You need a comma at the end of dialogue not a full stop. I commented on most of these for you but it would be a good idea to go through the whole thing and pick out these things yourself.
I loved the way you described the beginning text of the book that the family finds. I know I mentioned this in the comments but I think you could make that first bit a prologue and then start the first chapter as the tale with Everett. I really, really think it would work.
Some grammar errors but they were all very minor, as were the comma splits.
Excellent use of sophisticated vocab. It really set the time period.
Overall, a fantastic story!!! I loved it!
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