411 by @notliketheflower

A very intruiging start. The very first paragraph raises questions and also begins to build the picture.

Good descriptions - very good focus on the bare wrists with no hair band.

Careful with saying a European accent - that is far too vague. As someone who lives in Europe, I can say that there are so many cultures and accents. So pick one carefully.

Apart from that, not much else to say. Prose was good, so was the style, and also the development of the characters. Keep up the good work!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)