Legend of the Wildfires by @Anagramaster

This was an extraordinary little book. Right from the start, I could tell the writing style was going to be a unique one. It wove components of historical fiction and high fantasy together until the style was knit tight with strong vocabulary and in-depth characters.

It was a shame, I think, because I couldn't find much wrong with it.

However, I have a few points. This is a critiques book after all.

Commas before names was a massive, massive problem. I plucked these out and commented on them for you so you can find the main ones, but I would consider revising the entire document for more (throughout the later chapters as well) to find them. This is an easy fix and, once you sort it out, the writing will flow a lot better. Same thing goes for commas separating clauses.

You mentioned meat goes sour. Does it? Just double check that.

Dialogue was formatted slightly wrong at places, but I think you know better than I do about that. If there's anything you don't get about dialogue, refer to previous critiques in this book where I've explained the format to others.

The world built was very vast and well-constructed but bear in mind that readers have never been inside this fantasy world before, and so things were a little confusing at the start with all the names of places. Maybe have a dictionary at the beginning where all the main terms and cities and tribes are explained. I remember that you mentioned getting a map. That would help immensely as I think readers have no trouble getting stuck in the world, but need a little push when it comes to entering the world in the first place.

At times, I found it unclear who was speaking (we already talked about this). Maybe add another dialogue tag in these places and others where there is just a block of text standing on its own after many characters are in on the action.

Good scenes. Some parts went a little slowly for my liking, but then I guess that's part of the whole writing experience. I particularly liked the scene in the ale bar with the axe. Keep tension as high as that throughout.

Overall, well done on a great start to a great story. It was a delight to critique. I hope you found my comments useful.

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