#118 Future Virgin
Future Virgin by @VexVenom
Commas before names (even nicknames!)
Ellipses only need 3 dots.
Numbers spelled out look more formal.
Questions need question marks at the end (some can be misleading).
I would recommend you proofread before you publish since there are many mistakes that could be avoided.
The love between Rebel and Angel was portrayed well. I found Rebel a little bit mad with constantly hounding on her boyfriend but I think the plot line is good and well established. Maybe work on Rebel's character a little more.
Overall, a great start!
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