Blood Sucker by @lovechild777

Commas before names. You generally need more commas.

Good descriptions although sometimes I would have liked more of it to really show the reader the scene. I commented in these places.

Apostrophes of possession.

I'll tag you in a post where I explain how to format dialogue properly to others (although with you it's just some small issues with action.)

That's all! I liked how Mason revealed his true intentions at the end of chapter 2.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)