#193 Last Light
Last Light by @MmTt11
Tenses were jumping around - stick to the past. Also had some problems with plurals so keep an eye on that.
You sometimes had unnecessary additional articles.
Commas before names.
I really liked the connection between Apollo and Aunt Jonah.
Great suspense too.
Novel books can just be shortened to novels.
I'll tag you in a critique where I've shown someone else how to format dialogue correctly.
Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!
If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top