Project Phobos by @Lancaster702

Tense jumps were a HUGE problem. Stick to past tense wherever you can, please.

Comma splices too - no two sentences should be joined with a comma.

More description would really have worked. I feel like you were giving very bland descriptions that didn't go into detail.

I'll tag you in a critique where I showed someone else how to format dialogue correctly.

Commas before names.

Questions needs question marks. :)

You need to have a bit more of a think about characterisation. These characters didn't have much substance - really hone into detail and it will bring the writing to life.

Like the setting, though.

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