Rose

I loved France.

I remembered when I was young and I would go and visit with my family before all the crazy stuff happened. We went across the country but mainly visited the capital, Paris.

I loved spending my summers there with my sister. We'd play games, speak to other family members and enjoy our childhood.

The last time I went to France was the last family holiday we had. The last happy moment of us all together.

I was nervous. So nervous.

As I sat down, Cristiano pushed my chair in for me like a gentleman before asking a seat beside me. He rubbed his hands together in excitement before his hands dug in, taking a large bite out of the freshly baked croissant.

"Yes! This is amazing!" He moaned, his voice muffled as he chewed the pastry, throwing his head back in delight. I rolled my eyes, scrunching my face up at him.

"Ooo la la! Hi, cutie!" Jordan bubbled, beaming and holding an innocent girl's hand as she walked, stopping her and her friends. Her friends giggled, the girl blushing hard as she looked at Jordan. "Enchante, ma Cherie!" I felt like correcting him so badly for his pronunciation but I just sat and rolled my eyes, pursing my lips at him.

". . .uh. . .Rose, tell me how to say a good pick up line in French. . ."

I gave him a look of disapproval before asking the girl, "quel âge avez-vous?" {how old are you?}.

"Sieze." {sixteen}.

"She's not even legal yet. She's sixteen. Let her go," I bluntly told Jordan. His eyes expanded as his jaw dropped. He immediately let go of her hand, clearing his throat and looking away. The girl and her friends left and I tutted at him as Dax joked, "don't worry, doofus. You'll find a girl soon. . ."

"This is so unfair," Jordan bursted, folding his arms in annoyance as he looked at all of us irritably. "Cris, you have Rose. You've got Genevieve, Gage, Dax, you have Tori and who do I have? Hookers."

I chuckled, giving him a warm smile. "Don't worry. Like Dax said, just wait. Someone'll come when you least expect it."

Jordan huffed again, rolling his eyes and folding his arms like a child. "Whatever. Cliche shit."

"I feel sick," I murmured, placing my head against my fist. I sighed softly, my stomach twisting and churning. I roughly swallowed a lump in my throat, nausea hitting me.

"Well, are you pregnant?" Jordan asked me, raising an eyebrow mischievously. I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.

"What?" Cristiano exclaimed, his head snapping in my direction. His jaw dropped as he stopped looking at his phone, his eyes filled with seriousness. I rolled my eyes again. "We haven't even - there's no way I'm pregnant, idiot."

"You haven't even what?" Jordan curiously pressed on, a teasing look on his face. I gave him a glare and he grinned from ear to ear.

Cristiano exhaled in what seemed to be relief. He went back to scrolling on his phone. My eyebrows creased as I looked at him. He was relieved. I licked my lips and looked away, feeling uncomfortable for some reason.

"None of your business," I reminded him, and he wriggled his eyebrows. "Well, then, y'all must of been doing something nasty this morning because you weren't that quiet."

My cheeks automatically went red. Dax's jaw dropped and he snorted, shaking his head as Jordan sniggered. "Shut up," I grumbled, "I'm not pregnant, just nervous."

"You're so nervous that you can't eat your delicious melted cheese and bacon baguette? Wow, who are you and what have you done to Rose?" Gage asked in surprise, his eyes filled with astonishment. I sighed, glancing over at Cris.

"Come on, let's go pay," I murmured, pulling his strong arm that barely moved as I stood. Despite his protests, I made him come with me up to the food truck again.

We waited in the line and he kept his eyes on his phone. It irritated me. I licked my coated lips and moved my hair away from face before questioning quietly, "what if I was pregnant? What would you do?"

I was curious; I was extremely curious. I desperately wanted to know what he would do if I was actually pregnant. Of course, I wasn't because we hadn't had 'normal sex' since the night in the bakery.

Did Cristiano want children? What if he didn't? Our relationship was still early but his response before intrigued me.

He didn't seem to hear me at first and I got even more annoyed. I cleared my throat before sighing, "Cris? You've been on your phone all day, what's so important that you can't answer one simple question?"

"Hmm? Sorry." He put his phone into his pocket and met my tired eyes. The gentle breeze blew my hair to face and he pulled a strand of it behind my ear, leaning in and pecking my lips. "What did you ask, baby?"

I rolled my eyes, moving my head so his hand slipped off. "It doesn't matter." I turned, walking up the queue as it moved a little.

"Tell me," he pressed on, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek. I didn't reply and he sighed in my neck, his breath tickling me.

"I'm sorry, Ro. I've been distracted all day but I won't be like this for the whole trip," Cris began, "we're in the city of love and I promise I will be making more than love to your fine ass," he seductively whispered into my ear but I wasn't in the mood. I sighed again, turning and facing him.

I closed my eyes as I confessed, "I'm so. .anxious right now and I feel really sick. ." He pulled me into a warm hug and I closed my eyes tighter, my hands holding onto him.

"I understand. I'll be here for you. Trust me, when you see her, all your emotions are gonna change."

I exhaled slowly before pulling away and meeting his eyes. "Thanks." He pecked my lips before we went up to the front and paid.

In the cab, I watched out the window, gazing at the beautiful city of Paris.

It was a city of wide avenues and small places to sit and eat, to relax as Parisians went about their day. There were shopping centres, stores. There was parks and wild spaces, chances to walk among nature or enjoy the trails on bicycles.

I would gaze at the river that flowed through the centre, crossing the bridges, pausing just to look at the view.

Paris wasn't just about monuments and tourist attractions but more than most people knew. The city was always moving; cars, people, busses, trains. There were churches, mosques and temples. Hospitals and libraries, museums, markets.

The noon sunlight came all at once. It beamed down at us, warming the taxi. I brought my hand over my squinted eyes to shield them from the intense light.

I found peace. I felt calm. I rested my head against the window and exhaled silently, closing my eyes as a small smile came onto my face. I felt good inside and it was nice to have such a feeling. All emotions of nervousness and disappeared. I closed my eyes, Cris's hand rubbing my thigh gently in a way of comforting me.

I was glad he was with me. If he wasn't, I didn't know what I would do. I wouldn't been able to see my sister - I couldn't face it. He was there to support me and I loved that about him. He was always there for me when I needed him to be. Cris never let me down. That was a quality I loved about my boyfriend.

I leaned over and unexpectedly kissed his cheek, giving him a smile. He looked at me in surprise, at the abrupt gesture.

Cristiano looked so handsome. He wore some black jeans with a white, cotton shirt and a denim jacket. Of course, he would never go anywhere without his expensive trainers on his feet. Earlier, he had his pricey shades on which added to his attractiveness. They were off and his hazel eyes so alluringly shone in the rays of the sun.

I loved his eyes. The smooth green on the edge contrasted beautifully with the amber color in the middle, capturing my heart whenever I gazed at him.

He gave me a small smile innocently, not realising how striking he looked to me. I couldn't keep my eyes off him and he noticed, a cocky smirk growing on his face. "Take a picture, Ro." Although it was annoying at times, I loved his cockiness. It added to his humour.

I rolled my eyes, my smile extending. My hand went to his warm cheek and I caressed it softly. Moving it away, I complimented softly, "you look handsome, mon a-" {my} I stopped myself, my eyes widening a little as I held back from saying a word I thought would never slip out my mouth so soon. "-treśor," {treasure} I finished, giving him smile though inside, my heart was racing.

Holy shit

No, no, no, no, no

No way

It's too soon

A question stuck in my mind and I failed to answer it.

Do I love Cris?

"Thank you. . .I have no idea what you said though."

"My treasure," I translated softly with a kind smile, trying my hardest to form basic sentences in my mind in the tsunami of thoughts that were attacking me.

He leaned in and pecked my lips before holding my hand then there was silence again. The guys started talking after Jordan asked a curious question about French music but I was too distracted by my thoughts.

Then the feeling came back again.

Anxiety.

We were almost there. Driving down a road, we were in an area where houses looked like mansions and were detached with vast gardens and perfect decor.

I bit my lip hard, my heart racing in my chest, thumping as hard as it could. It felt as though it was going to burst out at any moment. I tried to distract myself by listening to the guys' conversation but I couldn't get rid of the anticipated thoughts.

What does she look like now?

Is she married?

Is she nice?

I bet she's still prettier than me

What if she isn't home?

What if she doesn't live here?

What if she hates me?

What if I cry?

"Rose."

I turned my head too quickly, my mind spinning around, adding to my dizziness. I met his mesmerising eyes and he warmly smiled at me, squeezing my hand gently.

"No 'what ifs', mia cara."

I nodded shortly, blinking a few times at his words, and giving him a small smile. My heart warmed at his words. He knew what was going through my mind and I didn't even have to tell him. He didn't make a big deal out of things and just gave me a simple sentence of advice that meant a lot to me. I loved that about him.

"Thank you," I practically whispered, my voice filled with honesty. He waved it off, giving me a smile before going back to his conversation.

Then we parked and it finally dawned on me.

We were here.

"Oh. . .we're here. ." Jordan acknowledged in surprise, gazing out the window like the rest of the guys.

"What's the door number?" Dax asked in curiosity, looking out the tinted windows that were rolled down.

"Fermez les fenêtres, s'il vous plaît. Nous serons juste un moment," {close the windows, please. We'll just be a moment} I said to the driver, and he rolled them up, the guys protesting automatically.

"Rose! It's boiling!"

"Why did you do that?"

"I'm dying!"

"What the?"

"I don't want her to see us yet," I said as I tried to look out. Dax and Gage were sat behind in the seven seater car. Cris, Jordan and I sat in the middle and the driver in the front.

"12," I said, leaning in as I tried to look at each door. "It's a number, not in French."

Then I found it, tensing up. The guys found it too and in silence, we all gazed out.

The house must of been three story and it was massive. It was a three-story, light brown brick mansion that I couldn't keep my eyes off of.

"Wow! Your sister must be hella rich, Ro!"

It had iron gates at the tail end of a discreet wooded open to a long drive that cuts across a lush carpet of tree-dotted lawn to a circular motor court with central fountain. It was pristine and filled with open space around it. Not too far away was a three car garage.

Then a child caught my attention. Two.

There was a little girl and a petite boy sat on the grass, a large, cream blanket underneath them. Around them was toys and a woven picnic basket.

They stood, laughing and running doing, the boy chasing the girl.

She was small and wore a white top with some denim shorts. She had her long, light brown hair down on her shoulders that were curled at the ends. The young girl was beautiful and she had small freckles on her face and light blue eyes from where I could see.

The boy, who looked around the same age as her, wore denim overalls with a white shirt underneath. He had dark blonde hair and seemed to have darker coloured eyes.

They must of been her kids. My lips parted as I watched them, chasing each other and laughing happily. It warmed my heart.

Does that mean I'm their aunt?

Then one of the grand doors opened and my eyes widened as a woman walked out.

She wore a floral, neat jumpsuit that was classy and suited her figure. She had dirty blonde hair that was curled on one shoulder. On her, she expensive jewellery. She had perfect, summer makeup on and wore a smile on her beautiful face.

Yup, still prettier. Blonde too

Wearing a wide smile on her face, she walked over to the kids with two jugs of juice in her hands. The children squealed and ran over taking the jugs carefully and placing them down before the woman walked back into the house.

That woman was my sister. I could recognise her as soon as she came out. She had matured but still looked young and beautiful. She was only a year older and still looked the same. She could be a model with her looks.

"She's hot," I heard Jordan whisper as she went back into the house. Someone slapped him on the back of his head and he grumbled, muttering a 'sorry'.

I let out a deep breath I didn't even know I was holding. The guys all glanced over at me as I breathed heavily for a couple of seconds, calming myself.

Cristiano squeezed my hand gently, comforting me and I exhaled slowly, gazing out again.

The door opened once more and she came out again, the same happy smile on her face. But that time, she had a young baby on her hip.

My eyes widened.

Geez, another kid?

She's had three and I haven't even had one!

She kissed the baby on the child's cheek. Pulling down the bib, she walked over to the kids and placed the baby down on the picnic blanket.

Then she said something to her children before moving over to the fountain in the middle of her open space. Leaning in, she inspected the flowers growing in the middle before gently picking a few out.

"Wait for my signal," was all I said as I opened the car door, stepping out. A wave of nervousness ran through me, my heart pounding hard against my chest. I pushed all the negative thoughts away and approached her house, stepping on her land.

She didn't notice me at first until I came onto the brick, her hands automatically dropping the flowers into the water as her eyes expanded, staring at me. Her lips parted and her eyes ran across my body as I did the same, my heart racing. She recognised me.

I had no idea if she could still speak English. That was the main language we spoke but she lived in France.

Cris was right; all my emotions would change once I saw her. I managed to finally blurt out something.

"Why didn't you come back?"

_________

L is for the way you look at me

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