Rose

"Mama loves you so, so much. . ."

"When you come out, daddy and I are gonna spoil you so much whether you're a girl or a boy."

"I'm gonna be there for everything; your first walk, first smile, first laugh. I'm never gonna leave you alone."

"Miss Amabella?"

My head snapped up and I stopped rubbing my stomach, meeting the eyes of the doctor. I swallowed roughly, "y-yes?"

"We're ready to begin the ultrasound if you are?"

I nodded, exhaling slowly to calm myself. My heart was thumping and I had never felt so frightened to know a result. I was practically shaking as they began to set everything up.

I looked over at Gage who gave me a reassuring smile whilst Jordan squeezed my hand. Having the boys here calmed me and made me feel so much more relaxed.

But there was one person who would make me feel even better but he wasn't here. Last I heard, he was still in the match which meant that he still didn't know about me. I didn't want him to know until the match was over. He had to win. I didn't want him to be pulled away from what he loves. I also wanted him to kick Arlo's ass after what his goons had did to me because after Cris finds out, he would definitely murder them all.

"S-So what are we l-looking for?" I asked nervously. I hadn't been able to stop stuttering. I was so jumpy and scared that even when one of the guys would touch me, I would flinch. I was so frightened, I couldn't think straight.

The doctors had cleaned up my wounds and it was time now to do something I was so terrified of doing.

"Any sign of life whether that may be a heartbeat or an image."

I nodded, exhaling slowly and trying to calm my heart rate that kept speeding up.

"Hey," Jordan softly whispered to me and I turned my head, meeting his eyes. He seriously gazed into my eyes. "Don't give up."

I nodded slowly, blinking away the tears in my eyes. I gave him a small smile and he returned the gesture, moving my hair away from my face. Sniffing, I wiped my eyes, swallowing roughly as I watched the doctor.

Then a midwife came and rubbed the gel on my stomach, the cold substance causing me to tense up. I licked my lips, praying to God that my baby was okay.

My head turned and I looked at the monitor as it came on and all I saw was black.

I licked my lips once more, biting my bottom lip hard as I gazed around the screen, my eyes concentrating on every detail as I tried to see my baby. I was looking so hard but I couldn't see anything.

The doctors were gazing around too, the midwife offering me a smile but I couldn't return it. My face fell as I realised that I couldn't see anything at all which only meant one thing.

Tears brimmed in the back of my eyes and the worst thoughts possible came into my mind.

Come on, baby

Then the doctor said, "we're just gonna look for a heartbeat now."

I nodded, sniffing and wiping my eyes, trying to stay positive but I was failing miserably. I let out a shaky breath, sniffing.

Nothing.

I couldn't hear anything.

The doctor was moving the equipment around my stomach, and when I looked at his face, I knew already.

"Stop," I whispered, shaking my head as the doctors did that negative look they always did to each other when they knew something was wrong.

"Please, just stop."

I sighed, wiping my eyes as I gazed at the blank screen.

"I'm sorry, Miss Amabella but you've had a miscarriage."

The midwife wiped off the gel and I continued to stare at the screen although nothing was there. I bit my lip so hard the blood began to seep out. I was lost in my own thoughts, zoning out. I could barely hear what the doctor was saying.

Then the equipment was put away and some of the nurses left which left only the doctor and the midwife.

"Miss?"

My eyes landed upon him.

"There are hospital counsellors to talk to-"

I shook my head.

He nodded, understanding. "We will give you some time with your family discuss options later."

With those words said, the both left and as soon as they did, my head went into my hands.

I lost the baby.

I lost my baby.

My only baby.

I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to act or what to say. I was so positive and determined to believe that the baby was alive that I didn't think of what would happen if the baby wasn't alive.

My baby wasn't alive.

Eight weeks.

Eight weeks of knowing and loving my baby.

My baby was gone.

Then I started to sob.

And sob.

And sob.

Tear streamed down my cheeks, my whole face was red, and I screamed at the very top of my lungs, throwing a pillow to the wall and picking up the table clock, letting it smash as I threw it.

I sobbed uncontrollably. My eyes dripped with tears. My walls, the walls that held me up, collapsed and destroyed me. Hot drops fell from my chin, drenching my shirt. I was trembling. I couldn't stop.

My hands curled into fists and I started punching a pillow before grabbing it and screaming into the fabric, loud, intense sobs leaving me.

I heavily breathed, throwing the pillow away and running my hand through my hair. When I finally looked up, there were my sweet idiots. They didn't look disgusted or angry. They weren't playful or taunting. They were concerned, filled with sympathy and compassionate.

A small whimper came from me and I sniffed, wiping my eyes as I looked at each of their handsome faces.

"You guys are amazing in every single way," I practically whispered, my voice hoarse and thick with sadness. "I love, Dax. I love you, Gage. I love you, Jordan."

"We love you too, Rose," Jordan softly replied, giving me a warm, sincere smile. I sniffed, wiping my eyes and swallowing roughly, his words warming my heart.

"And we're here for you," Gage gently promised me, his eyes never leaving mine. "Like you have been for us."

"Always," Dax finished, his eyes twinkling with kindness.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped them away, my eyes sore and stinging.

"Lay down and close your eyes," Jordan softly told me. I did as he said and he whispered, "we'll be here always, Rose."

"Love you guys."

"Love you too," they simultaneously responded then I felt one head resting on my leg, another on my hip and the other on my side.

I exhaled softly, my hands resting on two of their heads.

Baby

~~~

When I woke up, there was a pair of hazel eyes on me.

The smooth green on the edge contrasted beautifully with the amber color in the middle, capturing my heart every time I gazed in them.

But they no longer had their shine. They were dull and lifeless. Around them, there were bruises from the match.

I didn't know what to say.

I noticed a piece of paper on me and I picked it up, reading it with a smile;

I know we said we are always going to be with you - and we will. . .from the cafeteria for a few hours because I am so freaking hungry and -

Ignore that, Rose. We're coming back, don't worry. You won't be alone though, you'll have your King to care for you :)

Your idiots

~ Jordan, Gage, Dax

We love you!

I could hear their voices as I read it. I smiled, shaking my head before placing the note on the side.

I looked up once more and met his eyes once more.

"No what ifs," he whispered, as if he could read my mind. My face softened and I nodded slowly, tears beginning to sting my eyes. I wiped them quickly, trying to stay strong.

". .I l-lost the baby. . ." I whispered so quietly. I sniffed, unable to look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No, bab-Ro. No, don't say that," he softly told me, walking over. My arms reached out and he hugged me, coming into the bed. He held me in his arms as I sobbed again, already soaking his shirt.

"I-It's all my fault, Cris! I-I should've protected the b-baby! I was the baby's mother - I was supposed to take care of m-my baby. Now the b-baby's g-gone! My baby is gone! T-That baby was going to be my everything! My life! My happiness! I'm sorry for not taking c-care of our baby. I'm so sorry - I'm so sorry - please forgive me. I'm so, so sorry-"

"Rose," Cristiano began, his voice muffled. "Stop blaming yourself." He lifted my chin, meeting my eyes and shaking his head. "Don't blame yourself, my love, please. What happened wasn't your fault. I wish you called me. You're not a distraction."

I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "I know. I just wanted you to win the fight. It wouldn't of changed anything anyway who came afterwards. D-Did you win?"

He shook his head. "How can you still ask that after everything? I won. I won but it doesn't feel right. God, I should've been there." Cris ran his hand through his hair and sighed, groaning loudly.

"Fuck!"

My head went to his chest and he held me. I clung onto his shirt, sniffing and trying to calm myself. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "It's okay, mia cara, it's okay. Everything is going to be alright."

I exhaled slowly, holding back from crying again.

"Ti amo più di quanto le parole possano esprimere." {I love you more than words can say}.

I sighed softly as he stroked my hair. He exhaled, holding me closer.

"We'll get through this. Together."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

________

No, there are no tears in my eyes, just hay fever.

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