Rose

Vomit

Shit

Just shit

I felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in my stomach.

Tension began to do its work.

No, please no, not again, please. .

My breathing became more rapid by each second. In these moments, I thought about everything; and I mean, every single damn thing. I was over thinking again, the negatives outweighing the positives. I was making myself all worked up for no reason.

Calm down, Rose, calm down

I need help

Help

Someone help, please!

Help!

I was gasping but managed to wriggle over to the door, my body weakening as I fell onto the ground with a thud, my hand shaking reaching out for the door but I was failing.

My heart raced faster - I couldn't reach it.

Again, I tried to lean over. I couldn't reach it.

Once more - I couldn't.

No help.

My eyes scanned the room I was in , empty, alone, and the panic grew. In seconds I was curled tight on the ground, my only movement the trembling of my body and salty tears darkening my sleeves. There I stayed, unaware of my surroundings no longer.

I gave up.

Waking up was the worst feeling ever.

My back was aching and when I turned over, a few clicks went through my body. I groaned softly, my hand to my throbbing head as I opened my eyes, propping myself up with my elbow. I managed to look around in my surroundings to see that I was still in the bedroom.

The bedroom.

Oh shit!

My eyes widened as they landed upon the clock beside Cris's side of the bed.

Oh no! I'm so late!

A gasp left my mouth and I managed to stand up shakily, jogging over to the window and carefully moving the curtain gently, peeking out to see the crowd beginning to leave.

No, no, no, no, no!

I swiftly ran over to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and using the toilet before sorting out my messy hair. When I was done, I slipped on my shoes and quickly dashed out of the room, running down the stairs and leaving the empty loft.

I jogged past people, managing to squeeze past the crowd and ran towards his dressing room, opening the door and thankfully, it wasn't locked.

I bursted in and shut the door loudly behind myself, my eyes landing upon a familiar, muscular man with his toned back towards me.

"Cris-"

"I won the fight."

I licked my lips slowly, watching breathlessly as he took off his gloves, placing them down and putting things into his bag, his back still towards me.

"I knew you would," I quietly responded, my voice a little hopeful that he wasn't mad.

"Funny. Earlier you seemed not to."

"I wasn't doubting you, I just didn't want you to be prestige."

"So," he said, his voice emotionless yet authoritatively intimidating. He turned, his dark hazel eyes shooting daggers at me. "You didn't come."

"I-" I began, my face heating up as my heart pumped faster.

"Are you still pissed at me? I spoke to Dax before the fight and fixed it, Rose. I wanted you to be there because you are what keeps me going now."

"I know and I'm not angry at you," I replied, my voice beginning to shake which caught his attention. His face softened as he noticed the tears in my eyes. I swallowed uncomfortably, blinking my eyes rapidly to get rid of the stinging tears.

"I-I had a panic attack a-and-"

"Shh. ."

His arms were around me and I held onto him, burying my head in his chest as I squeezed my eyes closed, clinging onto him. "I tried to reach the door. . ."

"I'm sorry," Cristiano soothingly said to me, his warm hand sliding up and down my my back. "What's wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?"

I sighed, pulling away and meeting his eyes. Then my hands went down and I held his, meeting his eyes.

Here goes nothing

"Cristiano, I'm-"

"Where's the winner? Can we please go and celebrate? Giovanni is no joke! Holy shit, I've walked in on something personal."

The door had opened and Jordan had bursted in but as soon as he saw us, he froze, bottles of alcohol in his hands.

I chuckled softly, letting go of Cris's hands and pulling a strand of my crimson hair behind my ear. "It's fine. You're right, Jordan. Let's go and celebrate."

A grin stretched across Jordan's face and he cheered as he turned, going to the loft. I turned and faced Cris once more, standing on my tip toes planting a kiss on his cheek.

"What did you want to tell me?"

I shook my head, my eyes meeting his concerned and curious ones. I caressed his cheek, smiling at him.

"It's nothing, don't worry. You've won, superstar. Let's go celebrate."

Great

More procrastination

~~~

Upstairs, I was waiting in bed whilst Cristiano took a shower. I had my phone in my hand as I scrolled through, trying to find some pizza deals.

It was going to be me and him chilling upstairs although Cris said that we were going to do more than 'Netflix and Chill'.

"Hi, can I please have one margarita pizza, and one spicy, Cajun chicken pizza with extra jalapeños? . . .May I also have two caramel cookie doughs, one side of barbecue chicken wings, garlic bread and hot nachos? . . . As a drink, I'd like a large bottle of Tango, please. . .thank you. ."

"Is that all, ma'am?"

"Um. . ." I hesitated, a thought entering my mind. I bit my lip before giving in.

No more holding back

"If possible? Can I please just make a special request? There's something I need to tell my boyfriend and. . ."

When I finally finished the call, a smile was on my face. I hung up and looked down at my phone, sighing softly with relief.

Finally Rose! He's going to find out!

What if he's mad?

No - no what ifs

. . .but what if he resents me?

What if he forces me to -

No. No what ifs

I pushed away all negative thoughts and licked my lips, exhaling slowly. I ran my hand through my hair. Sitting on the bed, I was comfortable and waiting for Cris to finish.

The shower had turned off and I could barely hear what was going on the other side. As I waited, I gnawed my bottom lip, thinking about my special request over and over and over.

I hadn't even realised he was standing right in front of me until he spoke. I blinked in surprise a few times, my eyes moving up his sculpted body and meeting his attractive hazel eyes.

"-okay with you?"

I looked at him in utter confusion, trying to process what he had just said. "Um. . .what, sorry? Wait, put on a shirt, I can't take you seriously." He chuckled, turning and putting on a shirt as I rubbed my sweaty hands together.

When he faced me once more, I asked, "what did you say?"

"I said, the idiots wanted to go downstairs to chill and watch some movies together. I mean, if you just wanna stay up here, me and you, that's okay-"

"Um, no, no, it's okay. Let's go down," I replied, giving him a beaming smile though inside my heart was thumping. I could tell in his eyes that he really wanted to go downstairs with the guys and I didn't want to hold him back. But then, I thought about the pizza and my special request and already, I felt nervous.

"So, what about the pizza? Should I order some more?"

"Yes, yeah, thank you," Cris said, leaning in and planting a kiss on my cheek. I waved it off and gave him a smile, dialling the number for the pizza delivery to add on more pizza

Shit.

Just absolute shit.

Downstairs, the guys cheered as they toasted to Cris's success and drank, laughing and playing around. I was curled up on the couch, watching each of them whilst I drank my orange juice.

The guys were sat on the floor, arguing about what movie to watch. I rolled my eyes and snatched the remote from Jordan, swiftly putting on the movie: The Breakfast Club.

"Hell no!" Gage complained, snatching the remote from me. I gasped as he changed and put on Soul Surfer.

"No!" Dax disagreed, taking the remote from Gage. "I'm not in the mood to be emotionally broken and feel grateful." Then he changed and put on Fast and Furious 7.

"Damn! I'm not in the mood to cry,". Cristiano denounced, grabbing the remote and quickly putting on a film that we actually all seemed to agree with: Shrek.

Then Dax turned off the lights and laid back down on the floor, the opening scene beginning.

"Baby, come here," I heard Cris whisper a little too loudly, tugging my leg.

"No, you come here," I quietly disagreed, not liking the idea of sitting on the floor for ages.

He rolled his eyes and stood, sitting on the couch with me. We practically laid down on the sofa and I snuggled up next to him, my head on his chest and his bulky arms around me as we watched the funny movie.

He squeezed my butt, playing around with it and I wriggled, pushing his hands away so I wouldn't be distracted. He had a smirk on his handsome face which made me roll my eyes at his stupidity.

Then he pressed himself against me and I lifted my head, locking eyes with him and giving him a 'don't you even dare' look which made his smirk grow.

I shook my head to myself and laid back down, watching the movie.

We laughed and talked about the lives and our childhoods during Shrek and eventually, the pizza was delivered.

I tensed up and immediately offered to go and pay and collect it. I swiftly ran to the door before anyone could say anything else and I opened to meet eyes with a man.

I smiled, thanking him and paying the guy before taking the boxes of food from him. Before he left, the guy kindly told me, "I hope it goes well."

My smile grew and I thanked him once more before he left and I shut the door, going back into the loft.

I desperately needed to pee so I left the boxes on top of the drawer and swiftly dashed to the toilet. I didn't want them in the living room as I didn't want the guys to open the boxes yet. There was one special box for one special man and I was planning on giving it to him later when we were alone.

So, I quickly went into the toilet, peed and washed my hands, before coming back out, my eyes expanding as I realised that the boxes had disappeared.

Oh no

Oh no, no, no, no!

I bursted into the lounge, Cris opening some boxes and Jordan holding some whilst the other two guys set up the floor for us to eat.

I was panicked; my heart rate quickened and I could barely breathe, my face heating up so quickly. My mind was spinning and I couldn't form sentences to say anything.

My eyes watched as Jordan opened a box and gasped, looking inside it.

Oh

My

Gosh

Wrong

Person

Oh

My

Goodness

". . .Cris, I think this is for you. . ."

Jordan's beautiful eyes flickered up to me before moving down to my stomach and expanding as he slowly passed the specially requested pizza box to Cristiano.

Oh shit

No, no, no, no, no!

Stop!

Don't open it yet!

This was not supposed to happen like this!

Please tell me this is a dream - or a nightmare!

"Cris, wait! Don't-"

It was too late. I stopped myself. My eyes widened as I watched how his expanded, staring down inside the pizza box. I couldn't see his face, I couldn't see his reaction - I was freaking out inside.

I didn't know whether he was angry, pissed or happy. I was so nervous, I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I could barely breathe.

My lips parted to speak but nothing came out. I was so scared and worried that I was at a loss for words.

His hand slowly reached in and picked up the test, staring at it in what seemed to be wonder.

Then he read out the calligraphy written on the inside of the box:

"The butterflies in my tummy have turned into two tiny feet. Guess what? I'm . . .pregnant. . ."

He said the last two words so slowly and in astonishment. I grew more and more nervous as he wasn't giving me anything. I didn't know how he felt.

His eyes moved down to the pizza and what was written in pepperoni:

"You're gonna be a father."

I bit my lip so hard that if I went any harder, blood would seep out. I fidgeted with my fingers, so nervous and anxious.

Then finally, his eyes flicked up and landed on me, studying my face intently. Then eventually, they dropped down to my covered stomach, staring at it in wonder.

"Sheesh, Cris, are you gonna say something?" I heard Jordan mutter under his breath.

"Rose."

His voice sounded so powerful that it sent shivers down my spine. I licked my lips, swallowing roughly as I responded quietly, "y-yeah?"

"How do you think I feel?"

"I don't know," I quietly replied, unable to meet his eyes.

"Come here and find out."

Hesitating, I began to gradually walk over, getting more and more anxious by each step. As I came closer, I barely made it to him before I was grabbed and pushed back onto the couch spontaneously.

Then he was on top of me, kissing and cuddling me. I gasped in surprise, laughing at his tickles and squealing as I wriggled under him.

"You're pregnant? Oh, my fricking gosh! We're having a baby? I'm having a baby with you? It's gonna be so freaking cute with your smile and your little freckles! I'm gonna be a dad and I'm gonna have my own kid! God, I love you, Rose! More than anything in this damn world."

Then we locked eyes and he caresses my cheek, pulling a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I love you, so, so much that it hurts."

I smiled back, feeling so at peace and relieved that he was happy. "I love you too, Cris, and I can't wait to have this baby with you."

Then we were kissing and it didn't matter that Jordan kept telling us to get a room.

__________

Awwwww

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