i know this is sudden, but i'm calling off our fake dating, steve.

oh. did it not work out??

nope. but it's okay. thank you for your help, i really appreciate it.

I sighed to myself. One day really looked suspicious, but I couldn't keep this up. Not when I knew nothing would come out of it.

I texted Trina. She needed to know so she could spread the word.

im no longer "dating" steve.

oh im sorry... what about elijah?

the boy i liked is in a happy relationship with another boy. he's happy, so i guess i don't mind.

alright. well, everybody will hear about that. whats ur fake reason why?

um, how about steve and i just wanted to see everybody's reactions?

sounds good. its kinda true, isn't it?
------------------------------------------

The next day at school, the news spread around that Steve and I weren't really dating.

Most people really didn't care, but that was expected. Not a lot of people cared about me anyways.

I passed by Elijah again, and I didn't even turn to stare. It made me think a bit.

I don't think I was genuinely in love with Elijah. I think I was in love with his looks, and since I desperately craved love, I wanted him.

But it was not love. Even the numbness I felt could be explained by lonliness.

I never wanted Elijah. I just wanted somebody. He just seemed to fit the spot, but now the spot is no longer filled, and I remain lonely.

What is there to do? I could try to make friends, but I think I can't do it.

I don't want to pretend to be what I'm not so I can make friends. And let me tell you, almost nobody wants to befriend the real me.

Almost nobody. Steve wants to still be friends with me, and Trina is my best friend, but I don't think that she feels that way.

Trina is so nice and sociable, and she has so many friends. I don't even hang out with her that much, so there is no way that I'm her best friend.

The thought makes me feel lonlier.

After school was over, Cornelius drove me home, and I tried being nice to him.

I told him I appreciated what he does for me, and he asked me if I was feeling well.

It made me feel awful. Was I that bad to people that when I was nice, people thought something was wrong?

It makes me want to be a better person, because I think that will make me happier too.

When we got home, I asked my mom if we could watch something together, but she said no.

I then tried to find Whitney. When I found her and asked her if we could hang out, she froze. She stated, "I thought you didn't like me."

Back then, maybe not. But I have matured, and even with all her flaws and craziness, she was still my aunt. I shrugged, "Everybody deserves a second chance."

Maybe I deserve a second chance.