Waking up was difficult. You were extremely tired, but you wanted to get some training out of the way this morning. With all of the wedding preparation and the meetings and gatherings to discuss bringing your kingdom together with others, you hardly had time to practice.

Dismissing your handmaidens, you gathered your own clothes - a black tank top with a thick strap, leggings, and a thin skirt that was unevenly cut along the bottom, and you dressed yourself. Your hair was put in a simple ponytail. 

Leaving your bathroom after you washed up and changed, you were surprised to see Kylo already there. You jumped and sucked in a deep breath, whispering out, "What are you doing here?" Your guards were right outside your door, ready to retrieve you when you were ready to go. 

"I had to see you," he said. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and rolled forward slightly on the balls of your feet, peering cautiously at the door. "Why?" you said in a hushed voice. 

"Because-" He stopped, and the corner of his top lip twitched. "Because I just knew I had to."

As he smiled, even though it was barely a smile, you saw a glimpse of Ben Solo. 

Your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't help it - you flashed a pleased grin. 

"I have training today," you said. You moved so that you could stand next to him, leaned against your vanity, ankles and arms crossed. "You should join me."

"I probably would, but Hux has scheduled plenty for me to do on behalf of the Supreme Leader," he said. "Besides, I have plenty to do before the wedding."

"Oh, of course." You tore your eyes away from him and nodded. "Of course."

His eyebrows pulled together. "Do you wish to marry me?"

You thought hard about that question. A wrinkle of focus formed directly between your brows as you considered what you wanted and what was expected of you.

Finally, you had your answer.

"I... don't know," you admitted in a whisper. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your company, Commander. But..."

"What is it?" he pressed, voice low.

"Have you ever felt like... like you have no control of what you're allowed to want and what you aren't, so you just... detach?"

He did not answer. You glanced at him.

"Have you, Commander?"

He nodded slightly. "I have before, yes."

"How did you differentiate between the two?" you asked.

"Something inside of me... snapped one day," he said. His voice was so low. It was just below a whisper, but you heard every word inside your mind. "On two separate occasions."

"And now you know what you want?" you asked, amazed.

He nodded. "It'll come to you," he said. "Whatever it is."

"Tell me more about us," you whispered. 

There was a knock at the door. 

You gasped and turned your head towards it. Glancing back behind you, Kylo Ren was gone. You swallowed your disappointment and opened it, getting back to what you needed to be doing. 

 / / /

You lashed out, swinging your staff as hard as you could in your step uncle's direction. He blocked it easily, twisting your arm so that you turned around. You cried out and went right back to it. 

"You're distracted," he said pointedly. "What has got you so out of focus?"

You grunted and swung again, trying to knock him off of his feet. "Nothing," you said through clenched teeth. 

For as long as you could remember, your step uncle was the one that taught you everything you knew. You got your brute strength from him, and although he disgusted you in ways you could not even begin to describe, you depended on him. 

This morning, slick with sweat and weak in the arms, you barely managed to make him stand down and away from you. The fight was long and hard. 

"You're forgetting to rely on the Force more than your physical strength. Remember, the physical movements are a decoy. Trick the body, trap the mind." He lashed out at you. 

You barely pushed your staff up against his in time. The shock of it left you teetering on your feet, and you staggered, one arm danging useless at your side. 

"Come on," he said. "What is this?" 

"I'm trying," you insisted. 

"Are you?" 

"Yes!"

He grabbed your arm and flipped you over his shoulder. You landed on your back, Gasping in shock, your step uncle smirked at your weakness. He stooped down and you tried to get back up, but his palm met your shoulder and he pushed you back down. 

Out of breath, you laid there, hands moving up to grab his wrist. You tried to move him, but he pressed down harder. 

You looked up at him, suddenly becoming scared. 

"Okay, I get it," you said. "I'll focus more." You pushed him. 

He didn't budge. 

"Did you hear me? I said I'll focus. I apologize," you said. 

"Oh, your highness," he said, shaking his head. 

His other hand came down and grabbed the side of your head. You were shocked as you felt his fingers curl around the roots of your hair to get a better grip. He lifted you off of the floor and you yelped, feeling the strands get yanked out of your scalp and our of your ponytail. He turned you towards the wall and slammed your temple into it twice with all of the strength that he could muster. 

"Stop!" you cried. You pushed at him. "What are you doing? Get - get away from me!" 

"Be quiet."

He lifted you off of the wall again. You twisted your body towards him, and he gripped your throat with his large hand. Shock was consuming you.

"N-No-"

You threw your palm forward, fingers curling. You used the Force to lift him straight off the ground and sent him flying in the wall opposite of you. 

When he crashed, you caught yourself on the wall. You looked up at him in fear, breathing heavily. 

He stood up, laughing. "That's how you learn, dear princess." 

Your hand flew up to your temple, where you felt the blood, slick and warm. Fingers trembling, you made the Force twist his limbs backwards until he was pressed up against the wall of the training room.

He cried out, but he smiled. "Oh - see? Look at you, your highness. So much power."

"I order you to stay away from me," you said, voice hushed. "I - I order you to never touch me again."

Before he could make another movement, you sprinted towards the doors. The energy coming off of you ripped them right off the walls, sending them flying behind you. You kept running as fast as you could, head pounding, wound ripping, tears streaming. 

The walls cracked. The floorboards lifted. You kept on running, not really knowing where you were going until you saw it. 

Kylo was at the end of the hallway. He had hurried out of one of the halls, where he and his officers were meeting with your officers. He turned towards you, his feet skidding to a stop in the halls as he slid out of the door. 

"K-Kylo!" you choked out, and you threw yourself into his arms. 

"Princess," he whispered in shock. He looked down at you, his arms encircling your waist as you dangled from them limply, a single hand grasping his sleeve. "What is this?" He turned his head. "Guards!" he barked. 

"What is it, Ren?" Hux's voice hissed. "My - my stars." 

You were breathing heavily, your vision blurring in and out. Kylo gripped you tightly, holding you up off of the floor. You were completely unaware of the steady stream of blood coming out of the side of your head. 

Hux barked his own orders now. "You heard the Commander. Get your useless selves out here! Go find whoever did this. Hunt him down and bring him to us. We will deal with him." 

"Tell me who did this," Kylo said. 

You whispered your step uncle's name, falling limp in his arms even further.

Kylo's head lifted slowly to meet Hux's eyes. 

Hux stared at him, shock and concern crossing his face. The red headed man turned once more. "One of their own has turned against the queen handpicked by the Supreme Leader. It's treason. Find him at once. Now!" 

The man turned back to Kylo, "Get her to their medical wing now, Ren. If we lose her, the Supreme Leader will have our heads." 

Kylo didn't answer. He simply moved his arm to hook under your knees. Once you were scooped up into his arms, he turned the way you had originally came from. You were hanging off of his arms, and he did not say anything as your eyes rolled into the back of your head.