The rest of your morning, you sat near Kylo Ren's side as he delivered speeches and lead meetings. In between them, you and Kylo had to pretend that you've almost never spoken before. You knew that if your mother, step uncle, or any of Kylo's superiors knew that you had a life outside of this, something bad would happen.

But during one of the meetings, Kylo was able to sit down next to you. A long table sat a handful of ranking officers as well as your step uncle, who once again was stepping in for your father, your mother, you, and Kylo. Hux stood on the opposite side of the table. All eyes were on him.

YOU SEEMED AGITATED THIS MORNING.

Hearing his voice in your mind caught you off guard, even though you'd heard it several times and seen him.

I WAS.

He never moved his body once as he thought. DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

You took in a quiet but deep breath. MY SISTER. SHE SEEMS TO THINK THAT SHE WOULD BE A BETTER QUEEN AND A BETTER WIFE THAN I WOULD.

Kylo did not say a word. You kept staring at Hux, but you nearly lost your composure when you felt his gloved fingertips brush against your arm. You stiffened slightly, feeling heat rush to your face.

Your mind flickered back to that touch in the temple. The brush against your cheek.

THANK YOU.

Once again, he did not respond. His fingers disappeared, but not before dragging against your arm for the smallest of moments.

It was a tiny gesture in a short amount of time - but it was dangerous. And you started to become afraid.

And you wondered - how did no one in your family recall Kylo Ren? How did no one notice how similar he looked to Han Solo, who you knew they knew? How was it so easily hidden behind a tightly kept composure, dark clothes, and a single scar running down the length of his face?

In less than a month now, you would be crowned Queen, and that same day you would wed Kylo Ren. Although you did not love the man you sat next to, you were grateful to the Force that it was him that you were with.

He had showed you compassion once before. And now it seems that, even though Ben Solo is dead and gone, he can show it to you now, too.

/ / /

That night, he appeared next to you again. This time, you weren't even laying down for bed when it happened.

You had just slipped out of your gown and into your favorite nightgown for the night. You'd asked the handmaidens for time alone (something you never did) and did all of the folding of the dirty gown, the brushing of your hair, and the difficult job of scrubbing the makeup off of your face all on your own.

As you sat in front of the mirror, moving the warm, damp cloth around your face, he appeared. You caught him in the reflection of your mirror and gasped, turning around in your seat.

"You scared me," you said.

"My apologies."

You placed the cloth down and stood up. Tonight, it looked as if he was really in your room. You crossed your arms and observed him.

"What are you doing here?" you asked him.

"Did you not want me?" he questioned.

You shook your head. "I... didn't say that. I wondered what your intentions are, is all."

He took two steps towards you. "The Force pulls me to you. I am trying to figure out why."

"Perhaps because we are betrothed?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I would agree with you, but this pull was inside of me long ago."

"Was it placed there by the Supreme Leader?" you asked.

"Doubtful. Not even he knows about my entire past."

"How is that possible?" you asked.

He came closer. "There are some things I won't even share with him."

You raised your eyebrows in amusement. "Like me?" you asked.

"Exactly."

The amusement was wiped off of your face. You swallowed and then turned away, going back to your seat in front of your mirror. You sat down and grabbed the cloth once more, moving it to take away the red off of your lips.

"That is going against your master, Commander. Isn't that punishable by death?" you asked.

"Perhaps," he said. "But isn't this punishable by death for you?"

You hummed. "I am sure it is."

"Do you care?" he asked.

You stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was serious. He was worried.

"I do not care," you said matter-of-factly. You turned in your seat and stared up at him. "The Force pushes me to not care."

"Then maybe we are doing something right here," he said, smirking.

"Maybe we are," you agreed. "For once."

You smiled at him.

"Commander - could you answer a few questions?" you asked.

He paused, listening.

Your voice dropped to a low whisper, as if you were afraid someone would hear you. "How did Ben Solo die?"

"I killed him," he replied, spitting the words through his teeth. "He was weak and foolish - just like Han Solo was. He needed to cease to exist."

"How was he weak and foolish?" you asked.

"You cannot remember," he said. "You cannot remember what I remember."

Your eyes seemed wet with tears as you stood up from your seat. "No," you said. "I cannot remember." You crossed the floor over to him and stood. "But perhaps you can show me?"

He nodded.

As he spoke, you swear you saw the memories from his point of view playing in your head. At first, glimpses. Quick flashes of you and Ben standing in grass fields, glancing around to make sure Skywalker wasn't anywhere near to see before you grasped his hand in yours. Throwing the roots of trees and rocks upward into the sky for the other to crush using the Force. And finally, him sneaking into your room each and every night.

"It was easier to sleep if I was near you. It was my job to keep you protected at all times. Your kingdom was counting on me. Supreme Leader Snoke was counting on it, too. Although your family had not yet pledged their loyalty to him, they did listen to what he said. He feasted on their fear. You were send to train with Skywalker to get to me.

"You did teach me the ways of the Dark. You taught me the extra power I had if I gave in just a little. But in return, I taught you what I knew. I knew a balance. You could feel life and death from my standpoint. And in what I showed you, you gravitated towards Light, while I turned towards the Dark. Snoke had me at that point, but I was able to keep it contained.

"However, Luke sensed my power. And he knew that it came from you, the girl that never left my side for more than a minute.

"That night, he followed me. I was a fool blinded by the excitement of breaking rules - blind like my father. I did not sense him. I came into your room and laid down. You were still awake. Only a few minutes later Skywalker was barging in. I sat up quickly and he threw out his hand. I was shoved across the room and pinned to the wall. He grabbed you by the arms, stood you up, and took you away. I stood there, even when he let me go, weak."

You blinked. You saw yourself being whisked away, Skywalker's arm across your chest, your back to his chest. The desperate look in your eyes as he dragged you away, and Ben doing nothing but freezing.

"I was terrified," you remembered suddenly. "I was terrified of coming back to my home planet."

"And I did not stop it."

You nodded.

"A few days later, you had already been sent back home. I was asleep in my own bed, in my own hut. Skywalker... he entered my hut, sensed my power, and set out to stop it. He had gone mad with the idea that I had been tainted by you. He tried to kill me, and he failed. I stopped his attempts and destroyed everything he had. His temples, his huts... his students. Snoke already had me by then. Ben Solo no longer existed. Kylo Ren took his place."

"I wish I could remember this for myself," you said.

He took a step closer. "I am sorry that you do not." His hand reached up.

Then it stopped.

"Commander," you whispered, tilting your head towards his hand.

He pressed his lips together into a tight line, swallowed hard, searched your eyes, and placed his palm right on your cheek, cupping it.

You did not feel his touch. He was not really there.

A second after touching you, he pulled away, vanishing completely. You were left in the middle of your bedroom, your hand outstretched as if you were going to touch his chest.