"Why not?" Edith asked with hope in her eyes. I froze. Lucille will be waiting.

    "Alright," I said, gently. I wanted to spare Edith for a little while longer, and I couldn't deny the look she was giving me. Her smile blossomed. Her cheeks rosy from the cold. Her eyes looking into mine. The sinking feeling in my core became heavier, my thoughts turning back to Lucille and how she might react when we get back. I will have to talk to her before Edith sees her. Edith took my arm and we followed the gentlemen to the dining hall. It was small but it sat everyone comfortably. Edith thanked the man for allowing us to stay in which he bashfully accepted. I admit, I was grateful too.

The stew they served us was hearty and hot. Edith tore off a piece of warm loaf. "Husband?" she asked, teasingly offering me the bread. I chuckled, feeling the weight lift off of me. After our wholesome meal and wine, I felt content. Edith leaned against me and giggled as we listened to a handful of men singing a playful gig, and then I watched her as they transitioned into a sweet and wishful song about home.

When the fire dwindled, we were lead to our room. My heart built pressure in my chest. We are alone.

"Do you have any new chapters?" I blurted, hoping to take my mind elsewhere. As I read, I tried to hide my curiosity. Is this Cavendish character...me? Am I the hero in her story? She painted this man as having a darkness to him that I can't help but relate to and like.

"What do you think?" Edith asked as she left the bathroom in her night-slip and gave me a kiss. I voiced my thought but did not ask the burning question on my mind. Instead, I asked if he makes it in the story. As I helped her assemble the bed, she started talking about choices. Guilt began to run through me, thinking about the choices I made and didn't make. I changed the topic to the room. Edith didn't seem to catch my change in demeanor.

I sat on the bed and she immediately laid her head on my lap. It felt natural to stroke her cheek as she spoke about leaving Allerdale Hall and starting a future together away from there. London. Paris. Milan.

I couldn't hide the surge of regret that followed. Edith sensed it and immediately asked about it. I had to look away or else I would have showed too much.

"The past, Thomas. You're always looking to the past. You won't find me there. I'm here."

I turned my gaze back at her, thinking about our waltz and how my feelings from that night only heightened. How my love for her has grown. Now, all I can see is her.

"I'm here too." I leaned down to bring my lips to hers. She was still as soft and as sweet as I remembered. Our lips continued to move and press against each other. I felt the desire build in me.

"Edith," I sighed. "I--"

She kissed me and kept our lips connected as she slowly sat up.

Her hand stroked my cheek.

"Yes." She nodded her head, encouraging.

I leaned into her until her head rested on the pillows. I continued to kiss her and a laugh escaped my lips. She slipped off my suspenders and worked to remove my shirt. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy. My breaths became pants as I moved down her body. I eagerly moved her skirts up as I looked to her. She smiled at me and I moved to kiss the inside of her warm soft thigh.

I can't believe this is happening.

I moved up her body, the hunger within me taking over. I kissed her deeply and felt her gasp as I pressed against her. Her hands pushed down my trousers and we became one. I felt alive for the first time. She pulled me to the side until she was astride me. This was new to me and I watched as she adjusted herself. The pleasure and the emotions that surged between us seemed to be almost unbearable.

Once we were sated, I pulled her close to me. The salty smell of her skin. The wildness of her hair. The way her head rested on my chest. The small breaths that cooled my neck. I noticed it all. I tilted my head so I could kiss her cheek.

If only we can stay like this forever.

Lucille's pained face surfaced in my mind. I squeezed my eyes closed. Just enjoy this moment.

Edith stirred and I held her tighter.

"I love you , Edith," I whispered as she started to fall asleep.

I have to do something soon. Before it's too late.