Note: Quote would be added later

Chikamharida's POV.

Adele came back from the river, her body dripping wet from head to toe. She was walking towards me but paused when she saw me eating cupcakes while turning the pages of her diary.

She continued the walk till she was beside me and well sat.

"I get that you don't feel like swimming after the last time," she said. "I'm not angry. I forgive you for not joining me to swim even though you do not want to apologize about it. I'd however like if you remember the fact that the nanny job requires you to go with me everywhere I go..."

I thought about my salary— how huge it was, about my future— how much I wanted to change my story, and then, about how Adele may turn to loneliness and other harmful devices if I were to really voice my thoughts because my thoughts weren't exactly pleasant.

Pardon, wasn't she the one who caused me to drown? Or had I drowned as a hobby?

Somehow I felt betrayed like she was pretending to be.

I think it's worst having feelings you can't show. But it's better to swallow them for now.

"You're looking at me like you want to castrate me," she said, making me to sigh and raise a cupcake to my lips.

"Words can't explain how I feel Adele," I said, trying to ignore her comment. "I prefer emotional outlets just like your diary- or rather, this pretty diary. How's it? I've read a few and it seems interesting ."

"Things were light at the beginning and later on heavy," she said longingly, the slight tug on her lips disappearing when she bent to tie her shoelace— off- white with a bit of glitter. It moved fluidly between her hands like a sculptors cement in gravel, and I suspected she was doing it all to shield her emotions from me.

"I'd like to share in her experience, if you'd permit me to read more," I said, staring at her intently and willing her eyes to meet mine.

"You've been warned," she said. "If you develop messed up thoughts it's on you. However, I can only give you the diary to take home if you tell me what went on during your date. I think having a diary as the only emotional outlet is quite deplorable. I've never seen you outdoors or on a game. At least I have a dog but you don't and I'm quite concerned about what your hobby is. It can't be nannying because I'm not exactly easy to nanny."

"You are requiring a share in my personal life Adele— something I don't readily give."

Her eyes turned an angry shade. I could tell I'd upset her.

"The diary is also my personal life or have you forgotten it's my mother's diary we're talking about? So quit this saying about people's personal lives when you're also poking your nose into someone else's. I told you that I'd only share a part of the information with you and now, it seems that you're not quite satisfied with that. Instead, you interest is to discover alot more that have been long buried. How curious are you Harida? I must warn however that whatever your endeavors are, remember that curiosity once killed the cat, taking one of its nine lives," she said.

Jeff thinking that Adele and I were about to brawl started growling at me. Adele's fingers went to its forehead, patting softly till it purred.

"That's not how it is Adele," I said, not wanting to upset her further. My pay depended wholly on her happiness ....and security. Maybe this was what Henry was trying to avoid.

"Atta boy," she said to her dog, spreading her hands over the rest of it's fur, ignoring me, staring at the vast amount of space before us— at the trees, boring and stiff.

"Adele, I've told you all I can. We went on an apology date. He changed my phone and when it was time to shop for clothes, he only accepted the ugly ones," I said.

"Sounds so him, like something from a book," Adele said, breaking her will to ignore me and finally taking the book from me. However, that wasn't my concern I had wondered if Adele knew Henry was her uncle but now that she was hinting at them shopping for clothes together. It said a lot.

"I'll give you back," she said before opening a page with ink more faint than the others.

"Here it is, " she said, pointing at a line on the book. "The place where Henry took her out and they had an argument over him wanting her to dress to hide her curves."

So it wasn't her but her mother. Henry had shopped for clothes with Hilda and he also didn't allow her buy the clothes of her choice. Was it his thing?

Curiosity griped me— it wasn't the same one that killed the cat. Na! I had no idea why Adele was blabbing about buried and a curios cat. The only thing I had been trying to understand was why Adele had to make visiting her mum a secret.

I narrowed the distance that had procured during Adele's vent, to see what she was pointing at and there it was in words, so bold and scrambled you'd think the writer was angry while she'd written it:

"Again, we fought. This time, it wasn't over my inability to remember who Rook was, or who Sammy was but it was over clothes- something which should be impossible considering we aren't even of the same gender.

However, he was the one who instigated it like other times. A friendly shopping trip turning to an argument of how I wasn't bothered by Zebra's unveiled threats and about her belief that I was purposefully seducing the boss."

I looked up at Adele, unsure if she wanted to read further or to stop. She however gave no inclination of either.

"Whatever you are seeing, there's more to it," Adele said, face blank. The only other time I'd seen such emotion on her face was when we went to MayPsych or before that, when she realized that I wouldn't leave her favourite spot. It was quite scary.

"I knew what was at stake by taking chances with you Harida. I may be knowledgeable for a child, but let it be known to you that I'm still innocent. At least, I wasn't the one who tried strangling myself when I was little, someone did. My dad too is innocent— even though it may be hard proving it. I'm sure you'll figure it all out sooner or later, that I don't just come here to escape Nana, but run from alot of deeper things."

I had no idea what she was talking about. Mr Bolaji was sweet. Why would I ever consider him anything other than that? And her, why was she spitting all that? What was she trying to gain?

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked, warily, though hiding it under an impassive look. She just made it clear that she'd never been a child— from skillfully manipulating me to escort her to Maypsych. And now, I was worried about how she'd gotten information of Henry out of me easily. I couldn't trust her because she's just warned me about dangerous secrets despite how languidly she'd put it.

"You'd know soon," she said, tying her lace and standing up. "Meanwhile, have fun swimming and try not to drown without me. You can keep the diary ...and the magazine. I don't care, not anymore and just so you know, tell your chef friend that I know her secret and that she isn't the first gamer."

Adele walked away, taking with her my trust and instilling in me a void type of emotion, undescribable but familiar. I was sure I'd felt it before and it could be when I discovered Manga's betrayal with my little sister.

Thoughts of Henry swept into my mind—his words of warning kept ringing like autoplay. Images of his sister's chilling look accompanied his words; then it all switched to unwanted memories from my childhood, when I'd sneak over to Manga's house with a stone, peeping at him through his window, hoping to complete what I didn't finish that afternoon. They weren't exactly concordant thoughts.

Yet again, I was encased by it— the blanket I'd been trying to escape, the destiny of darker things, of the inability to enjoy things like a normal human while they lasted. It was like Déjà Vu. Images of my real dad playing with me, him at his death bed, the funeral, Maji's marriage to my mum. My closed up self hiding anything I could have felt from my older siblings just to be strong for mother.

This time, when those thoughts came heavily, the river's current washed their toxicity away and the spark on its surface hinted at the hope of a clear future, despite how it had dwindled so much.

That night, I didn't sleep— I couldn't. I was much rather occupied by Hilda's words since I couldn't reign in my urge to read the diary. Maybe Adele was right and I was really curious about alot of things.

Hilda:

30th August, 2005.

It was my off day.

Their voices were loud. I could hear then through their open bedroom door because Henry wasn't around to monitor me while I sneaked about.

Suspicious activities. Different heavily built males each week- all driving in a multitude of vans which I doubt contained shipments. They were always dressed in suit, always.

She thinks I don't know but I do. Kaandle informed me of her attempts at me, how she'd hire people after me and how she'd sent the chef to me with a special dessert.

I didn't eat it, but Kaandle did in my place and now, I was having to sleep next to her bed to make sure that she was well.

I wish she could wake up so I could thank her and chastise her.

Why would she sacrifice her life for me? I'm not worth dying for. I've never been. Sacrifices like that always left me messy and in tears just like it did with my parents.

I was told that I was in an accident. I was told that I'd beem admitted into a hospital with parents who couldn't survive it.

At least that was what my foster parents told me. That was what the orphanage told me.

I survived death once and I'll do it again and while I was determined to avenge my friend, I came across an information that made me pause and rethink my existence. It was a confirmation to my earlier suspicions and I found out that the vans didn't just transfer goods the likes of biscuits and canned meat nor where the huge guys who accompanied each travel all present for a Jones buffet.

I found out, in pristine hues that the vans were transporting ladies like me, sometimes pregnant and sometimes caring for a child and I plan to get to the root of it all.

*****

When I was done reading that page of the diary, I turned to the next to meet it ripped and half its page being held by an opaque tape. The words there had been muddled with tears but some were still quite visible.

Hilda:

15th September 2005.

Zebra hates me and now she's more than ready to show it after I ruined her business. I'd helped four of her goods escape and she caught me.

She caught me!

Now I'm locked up but still allowed to write even though I can't touch pottery.

Mr Bolaji still yearns for me but has accepted my disagreement on his affections towards me. My disagreement being that I couldn't mate with a married man.

However, tomorrow is my day of prosecution and I wonder what will occur.

~

Hilda:

16th September 2023.

It's hurts! My legs hurt!

My heart is burning but more so my body.

He wasn't even gentle! There were fifty men and he wasn't even gentle.

I hated Zebra before but now, I hated her even more.

She said he needed to get the frustration of me out of his system.

My wrist still hurt from the binds. Between my legs hurt and I haven't stopped bleeding.

I felt myself droop, a sudden pain occured in my stomach so that when I woke up, it was on a familiar white sheet, with an heart monitor beeping from somewhere to the left.

He tore my private parts and I bled out from the pain.

Since there was nothing else to read, but torn and muddled pages with unclear words, I decided that seeing Adele the next day was best.

She was the only one who could know why the book was in such state and I considered it a purposeful action on her part.