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TWENTY SIX | IT ALWAYS WAS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE

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FLANNERY O'CONNOR OFTEN wrote about something called a moment of grace. The point where people are forced to make a decision that either enables them to transcend a circumstance or succumb to it.

Chang Soo-Jin was currently experiencing that moment of grace. She exhaled, releasing some of the tension that built up in her shoulders. Her hands were pressed on the pastor's shoulders, and her mind was fixed on the action she was about to do. However, her principles were fighting through it.

It was like everything was in slow motion. There was an inner voice that urged her to push the pastor to his death, but there was another voice that was stopping her. She was conflicted. If she doesn't do anything then they were all going to die and all those deaths would be in vain.

"Please, don't kill me. God..."

"Soo-Jin," Sang-Woo softly called her, removing his jacket. "The lightbulbs..."

She arched an eyebrow.

"The lightbulbs can be used to know which one of the steps is the tempered glass."

Soo-Jin tilted her head. She felt the pastor try to twist her so he can push her instead, but she pinched his ear. He was still kneeling and she couldn't believe he was attempting to kill her. "If you so as much try to murder me, I will not hesitate to push you right now." She threatened. "Don't test me. You know what I am capable of."

"Yes, yes!"

"Here," She heard Sang-Woo behind her. He passed her two lightbulbs. They were still hot and newly unscrewed from the sides of the suspended bridge. Gingerly, she took them from him and slammed them on the metal beams, leaving the tungsten metal. "The player earlier said that the tempered glass would ring if pounded with a hammer. We don't have a hammer right now, but you can hit one of those panels to reveal which one is the normal glass."

She nodded, though she was still unstable. Sang-Woo had just stopped her from committing murder. Gripping the tungsten metal, she handed them to the pastor. "Hurl them for me."

He hesitated.

"Fine, you want to die?" roared Soo-Jin, eyes full of rage. She grabbed the back of his jacket and slightly tipped him over the edge to frighten him.

"No, no! I will do it!"

"You have one minute."

He shakily held the lightbulbs and flung them hard to the right glass tile. A spider web-like fracture appeared on the middle until it spread to the sides and bursted into tiny pieces. It rained down on the ground and they finally knew that the right glass panel was the tempered one.

The pastor jumped right to it and got across while Soo-Jin and the rest followed suit. Just as Gi-Hun leapt to their platform, the timer struck zero and suddenly, the lights switched on and all of the tiles exploded, causing some of the shards to fly over to them.

One of the sharp glass pieces sliced Soo-Jin's cheek and upper arm and she hissed in pain. She then caught sight of Sang-Woo shielding her from the rest of the shards. He also got a slice as well on his cheek, but other than that, he was fine.

"Soo-Jin!" he fussed over her, lifting her arm to examine to her wound. "Are you okay?"

"No, shit. It's painful, but I can manage. You?" she put her hand on his jaw, tilting his head to the right. "We need to get that treated or washed now."

He nodded and they both checked the well-being of their companions. The pastor only got a small slice on his hand while Gi-Hun had a cut on his cheek like her and Sang-Woo. Soo-Jin shifted her gaze to Sae-Byeok and she almost fainted at the sight of the young girl.

One of the fragments lodged itself deep on  Sae-Byeok's side. Blood oozed oyt of the wound profusely, and Soo-Jin pushed aside Sang-Woo, frantic about the girl's state. "No, no, no..." she mumbled, trembling. "Come on," She wrapped her arm around her body and half-carried her out of the game hall.

Once Sae-Byeok settled herself inside the bathroom, Soo-Jin rushed back to the large room to get any blanket or cloth that will help stop the bleeding. She was shocked when she saw there were only five beds left around. Shaking her head, she made her way to her bed and tore a piece of her blanket. Holding onto it, she proceeded to head back to Sae-Byeok, but then she was confronted by Gi-Hun.

"Why’d you do that, Soo-Jin?" he blocked her way. "You almost pushed that man over to his death!"

Soo-Jin was taken aback by his shock. She didn't expect that he would still be surprised about it. In her opinion, her bestfriend should've already understood what was happening. "What the hell did you expect, Gi-Hun?"

"Why did you go up and almost push him?"

She stepped up to him, glaring at her bestfriend. Why was he so alarmed about it? She didn't even do it although she really wanted to. Why? It would eliminate another competition.

"Did you forget how things are done in here? What if that guy," Soo-Jin courageously pointed at the pastor who was now sitting on his bed. "ended up wasting our time on that one step like Deok-Su? Would you have done nothing?"

"But, he was on the last tile! He would move to the next one soon."

"How can you know that? Player 017 could tell the tempered glass apart the whole time, but he watched all those poor bastards out there die!" A look of great bitterness swept across her face. "We have to do whatever is necessary to live until the end of this games, Gi-Hun! Why? Because this is fucking survival! Life and death! If your enemy will kill you with his knife, will you show mercy and spare his life? For me? Fucking no!"

Gi-Hun furrowed his eyebrows as if he was stunned upon hearing her words. "You'll commit murder?"

"It's just a redistribution of matter." She shrugged, unbothered. She had been through so much already to think of her beliefs in life. She watched a lot of people die for her, for them. "Besides, we already did that during the third game."

"Soo-Jin -- "

"Why are you even arguing with her about it?" Sang-Woo finally interjected, his arms dropping to his sides. A frown was visible on his face like he was ready to fight. Rarely did she see him argue with anyone since he always tried to evade conflicts. "She wasn't even able to carry it out! What's your problem?"

"My problem, Sang-Woo?" argued Gi-Hun. "Soo-Jin almost committed murder! Aren't you even worried about that?"

"She was just doing what was necessary to keep us all alive!"

"It's still -- "

"Seong Gi-Hun," Sang-Woo accosted, sauntering over to him. His eyes narrowed and his teeth clenched together. They were having a stand off and Soo-Jin was just standing a meter away from them, observing. "Your life is so damn pathetic, and here’s why. It’s because you always gotta open your mouth and ask something idiotic."

Soo-Jin pulled Sang-Woo's arm to stop him, but he continued, "Because you’re a nosy-ass idiot who’s too slow to keep it shut. Someone who always has to get into trouble, but somehow can’t tell he’s in it. Soo-Jin didn't even trust you during the tug-of-war. Didn't you notice? She approached me even when you were the leader."

Gi-Hun glanced at her. "Is that true?"

She breathed. "Yes," Soo-Jin knew Gi-Hun would want the truth and so the truth he shall get. She swallowed, gripping the cloth in her hand. "I knew you would suddenly freeze and just stop when you start realize we will kill them. I couldn't risk that."

"Is that why you always help me? Because you don't think I'd make it out alive?"

"Yes."

Gi-Hun pressed his lips together. "Okay." He nodded. "That’s right. That’s how I got caught in all this. Because I was slow, crazy incompetent. Just a dimwit who lives off his mother, but you’re with me in this place." he clicked his tongue, staring at him from head to toe. "Isn’t that interesting? Why is that Ssangmun-dong’s golden child, the genius Cho Sang-Woo, who went to SNU, is here?"

Sang-Woo's eye twitched and Soo-Jin could tell he was already reaching his peak.

"Rolling around this shithole, slamming with us, simpletons, huh! Is it my fault that you’re here? You have fallen from grace, oh great Cho Sang-Woo. Admit it, you're a failure." He taunted, shaking his head. Her bestfriend used Sang-woo’s past success to point out what a failure he’s become. "Oh, by the way, I know you're jealous and scared of me. You don't think I noticed? You're always agitated whenever I am around Soo-Jin. You think I'll steal her away from you."

Sang-Woo scoffed. "You always insert yourself in her life! I knew what you were trying to do when Soo-Jin and I were still together, Gi-Hun. It's what trying to do right now." He shoved him backwards. "You want to take her away from me."

Gi-Hun pushed him back and the two stared at each other, angrily. The tension between them was thick and the woman knew that one more word from them will result to an altercation. "I have always respected her boundaries, Sang-Woo. Always. But, you're right about this time, I am taking her away from you because she's not yours."

"Stop this bullshit!" bursted Soo-Jin, vexed by their behavior. She couldn't believe they'd even bring up their rivalry for her affection at a time like this. They were already in a life and death situation and anytime, they can die. Sang-Woo and Gi-Hun needed to get their heads straight. "Fucking idiots. I am no one's! Stop arguing about this!"

The two glanced at her, apologetic. "Save it. I don't fucking need your apologies." fumed the woman, glaring at them for her fury sprang to life. "Let's get one thing straight here. Never ever tell me what I can and cannot do. I am my own person. I am a free human being with an independent will. You two just appeared in my life a few days ago. You don't know what I've been through for the last twenty-six years. How many times I have almost died just to provide for my sister's needs."

"So, fucking get it together." Soo-Jin snapped her fingers. "We all know we’ll be killing everyone if we want that money. Think about it for just one second." She then anchored her gaze to Gi-Hun. "You should be happy that there’s someone who’s not afraid to get her hands dirty."

"And if it were me or him on that tile?"

She dug her nails into her palm, clenching her jaw. "I recommend not asking a question you aren't prepared to handle the answer to."

And she spun around her heel to leave them, but Gi-Hun grabbed her wrist to stop her. That was when Sang-Woo seized Gi-Hun's wrist as well. The three of them all shared a glance, and Soo-Jin broke free from her bestfriend's grip. "I will do everything to destroy all who will stand in my way." She finally declared.

Exactly at that moment, the alarms blared and silver doors in front of them slid open. Six guards set foot inside the room, five of them holding black boxes.

"Players, we sincerely congratulate and commend you all for successfully making it through the first five games." the masked manager expressed. "The five of you are now the finalists and as such, we have prepared a special gift for each of you. Before we reveal the gift, please take a moment to change into the outfits we have brought."

Heaving, the brunette dragged herself forward, and snatched two of the black boxes. One for her and one for Sae-Byeok. She headed for the bathroom and upon opening the doors, she gasped at the pool of crimson liquid that was dripping from her stab wound.

"Shit!" Soo-Jin dropped down to her knees and pressed the cloth on 067's bleeding wound. The young girl screamed in excruciating pain and gripped the edge of the sink. "It's okay, it's okay, Sae-Byeok. Breathe."

"It hurts..." She mumbled, her eyes rimming with tears. "It hurts, Soo-Jin..."

Soo-Jin brushed the girl's hair back. "Shhh," she sobbed. "It's going to be okay."

It was not okay because she knew Sae-Byeok should be rushed to the hospital to have her wound treated properly. Although the stab was not fatal, she knew the girl might suffer blood loss and die. Soo-Jin's hands trembled at that thought. The brunette wrapped the torn cloth around the girl's waist and gave an encouraging smile.

The bathroom door flung open and in came Sang-Woo with his own black box. His eyes widened when he saw Sae-Byeok, deathly pale and on the verge of collapsing to the ground.

"Well, don't just fucking stand there. Help me, you idiot." scolded Soo-Jin, urging him to assist her. Sang-Woo immediately traipse over to her and helped her in treating Sae-Byeok's wound. Together, they used the cloth to act as a dressing.

Soo-Jin also assisted the girl in changing her tracksuit into the formal dress clothes that were given to them. Slowly, she and Sang-Woo led Sae-Byeok back to the dorm and settled her on one of the chairs that were around. The guards were setting up the room into something else. Once they were both certain she was already okay, the former couple went back to the bathroom.

They were silent, still feeling the impact of their words earlier. Wordlessly, Sang-Woo removed his shirt and approached her. Flickering his eyes to her wounds, he opened the faucet and wet his shirt. He lifted up her arm and lightly dabbed the cloth on her skin. She winced, feeling a stinging pain.

They once again didn't exchange any words, only observing each other. Soo-Jin looked up through her long eyelashes. He also had a wound as well in his cheek, and dry blood surrounded it.

"You didn't have to say all of that to Gi-Hun earlier..." she voiced out first, focused on her currently blood stained hands. At that point, she knew that blood wasn't just on the playground, it was everywhere: the neon stairs, the bathroom sink and floor, the bunker beds, the walls. Everywhere.

"I..." He paused for a moment and then continued. "I wasn't able to hold my tongue. I'm sorry."

"Apologize to Gi-Hun, not me."

"I will." He wiped the blood off her skin, and then traced the slice softly with his thumb. "I was just..." he shut his eyes and Soo-Jin knew he was about to open up again. "afraid, Soo-Jin. I was afraid I'd lose you to him. That you'd see me as the failure that I am and go with him."

"You're not a failure -- "

He shook his head, choosing to change the topic. "Rate your pain."

"Zero stars. Would not recommend."

"Soo-Jin..." he mentioned her name, his tone serious. Smiling, Soo-Jin gently grabbed his wrist and took his wet shirt. She wiped the dry blood off from his wound. Soo-Jin knew then no matter what, together or not, they will always care for each other.

"What if you have to kill me?" murmured the woman, swallowing.

"What -- "

"Wait, let me rephrase that, what if you'll be forced to kill me?"

Sang-Woo blinked, once then twice. Eyes transfixed on her, he took her hands and replied, "Then, I'll die with you."

Soo-Jin's eyes watered and with a broadening smile, she laced her fingers with his. There were no awkward pauses, no second thoughts, no worries of what she was doing wrong -- only her and him and their hands fitting together like puzzle pieces.

“I love you so much,” she said quietly, and smiled at him with a hundred words behind her dark eyes.

It was him. It was only him, the sole thing left in the universe, eyes shining like two worlds only for her, visible only to her, and his warm chocolate color that always drew her attention. It was his small smiles, his words, his gestures, the way he whispered her name.

It was him, it always was, and it always will be.

It was as if Soo-Jin stopped the world for a moment and stared into Sang-Woo's black eyes. Nothing compared to his, and she inched her head just the slightest bit nearer.

Her inner gravity was tugging at him, dragging him closer and closer to her, as if he was the sun in her orbit. Her eyes jumped from his lips to his eyes her heart now a ticking bomb. He was so close.

And finally, in seconds that felt like years, he kissed her.

Sang-Woo kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth parted her shaking lips, like an artist’s brush against her canvas, intense, smooth but contained until her hands, with a mind of their own, took ahold of him and everything accelerated.

The space between them evaporated as their bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, breathing heavily as their lips connected once again.

Soon, she was forced to separate from him to catch her breath. Heat rose from every inch of herself she was no longer able to control. There was nothing but the sound of his gasps drawing her in, awakening something feral within.

"I'm going to take a shower. You wanna come with me?" she invited him, leaning her forehead against him with a smirk painting her lips.

And that's how they found themselves inside one of the shower stalls. Sang-Woo's thumb throbbed at the hollow of Soo-Jin's neck. He rubbed up and down, pulsing warmth as his tongue conquered the depths of her mouth, hungry, consuming, pulling her into the warmth of him as if he mastered the balance of gravity.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation. His mouth was on hers, and he shuddered. Soo-Jin heard a sound from the back of her lover's throat, half growl, half moan. Sang-Woo then sent her skin ablaze as his lips made a run for her neck, melting into her flesh, making her moan. Little shivers of pleasure and panic shot through her as his teeth gently bit her neck.

She pressed her body against him, digging her fingers into his hair. It was soft, silky. It sent wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling.

Soo-Jin sparked alive, and her heart even swelled to the point of near bursting. The rush of sensations crawling across her body was maddening.

The woman taste their shared breath, feel the thud of their combined heartbeat as they both fumbled to take off one another’s clothes.

His strong hands then moved south, under her shirt, his fingers skimming over her skin, sending a rush of blood to every part of her body. Her own hands went down. His stomach was hard, dipped and rippled in all the right places. And then Soo-Jin's shirt joined Sang-Woo's on the floor. Skin against skin. The brunette ran her fingers down his chest, to the waistband of his trackpants. She didn't even fumble one bit as she slid down her own trackpants, throwing it aside along with her underwear. Her partner did the same and with hooded eyes, they sealed their lips again. It was like they couldn’t get enough of each other. They were devouring one another, drowning in each other.

Her lover's hands were on her hips, and he lifted her up as if she were made of air. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and pulled him closer, telling him what she wanted with her soft moans.

A moment later, they were a tangle of legs and hands moving, exploring. Their hips molded together and they moved against one another. Soo-Jin whispered his name so many times in pleasure, and she felt his arms tighten around her, crushing her against his chest and his hands slipped between her legs. And Soo-Jin's was swimming in raw sensations.

She felt a warm smoldering feeling build up in the pit of her stomach. Her skin felt like it was on fire, her body burning with the heat, searing her with sensation. Soon, it all builds up and like a rubber band that has been stretched, it snapped, causing Soo-Jin to gasp loudly and grab on the wall behind her. She murmured his name in his ear, her hot breath fanning over it.

Their kisses slowed, becoming tender and infinitely more. Soo-Jin was breathless and dazed, unprepared, but her body ached for more than just kisses and touching -- for more of him. And she knew her Sang-Woo did, too.

"Marry me, Soo-Jin... marry me."

There was nothing left on Earth, or in the entire universe. The stars imploded and the sun shone brighter than ever. Except for the two of them, nothing else mattered. The world -- the universe -- ceased to exist when they're together.

"Yes, yes."

If only Soo-Jin knew this was going to be the last time they were going to be together... because currently, at this moment, one of the players inside the dorm was already planning their deaths.