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TWENTY | BULLET TO THE HEART

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SOO-JIN COLLAPSED ON her knees.

She could feel her heart getting ripped out of her chest as she started to think who would die among them. It was so easy to think that all of them would survive, but no, this was reality.

And reality? Reality was a son of a bitch.

She had put Gi-Hun and Ali together, both fathers. One had a daughter while the other had a year-old son. Her bestfriend against the man who saved his life. One of their children will now soon become fatherless.

Then, there was Sae-Byeok and Ji-Yeong. Soo-Jin was already aware that Sae-Byeok wanted to get her mother out of North Korea and her brother from an orphanage while Ji-Yeong... she might not have talked to her so much, but she could only assume the girl had a family too. Their families might never see them again.

And finally, Sang-Woo and Minjun. The man she truly loved and the boy who she now considered like a son. For the last twenty years, Soo-Jin wanted nothing more than to reconcile with her former lover. Minjun... She had always wanted a son so she could name him Min-Jun. A small cry escaped her lips for it was like the gods gave her a gift only for them to take it away. She couldn't imagine what she would do if one of them died. She just asked Sang-Woo to protect Minjun for her earlier.

Life was cruel.

Now, at this time, she had to make a choice: save herself or save her partner's life.

Earlier, she chose to partner herself with the old man to save him, but now? It looked she would be the one who will end his life.

Whatever it takes.

Soo-Jin was not known to lose. She never fucking lost in her life. Every contest, competition she was in, she ended coming out on top, victorious. She was aware what was necessary to secure her win: sacrifice.

Without sacrifice, there can be no victory.

When she was still a student, she always sacrificed her time to get enough sleep because she would always study. Sometimes, when she felt that her teacher would give her surprise quiz, she'd skip her recess and proceed to the library, once again, to study.

Everytime life decided to throw a problem at her, she would always find a way to overcome them. Whenever she would be faced with an opponent stronger and bigger than her in those underground fights, she's use her wits to overpower them.

Yes, Chang Soo-Jin was a high achiever. She was never going to fail. She was bound to never lose.

Why?

Because she doesn't know how.

She only knew how to win.

"Soo-Jin?" spoke the old man beside her who noticed her despair. "Why do you look so despondent?"

She clenched her fist, tightening her hold on the marbles. Self-preservation or kindness? Herself or others?

There is a loophole in every rule.

She blinked when she remembered Sang-Woo's word to her earlier. Picking up her bag, she walked over to the guard and presented her marbles. The announcer only said that the player who gets all ten marbles from their partner wins. They could just switch satchels in front of their watchers and both of them could win. Weren't they told to play a game.of their choice? They never even stated their partners will not be left with any marble. There was still hope.

"The rules never stated -- "

"You must get all marbles from your partner without the use of violence. One of you must have all twenty marbles by the end of the game." the guard blatantly stated.

Soo-Jin stumbled back, feeling the impact of his words strike her in her gut. She had to really make a choice. They all really had to make a choice who between them dies and lives on.

She never even got to say goodbye to all of her friends.

"How pretty." 001 marvelled at the sight of the marble.

"You will have 30 minutes for this game. Let the games begin."

The woman aggressively wiped away her tears of grief as soon as she heard the words of the announcer. She had to get herself together. There was no time to waste. Her life was on the line. "Sir, excuse me." she began and then noticed that the elderly man was missing. Her breathing grew erratic and she searched for player 001.

"Sir! Sir!"

She ran around and found him walking along an alleyway. He seemed to be out of his grasp of reality since he looked dazed. There was a fantasy playing in his mind, but Soo-Jin didn't care anymore. Her desire to live and save herself was stronger than whatever she was feeling. When she stepped back in these games, she already prepared herself to do whatever it takes to win and that was what she was going to do.

But, it didn't mean her actions won't hurt her.

She wasn't heartless.

"We must be close!" cheerfully declared the old mam, grinning as he ambled around the neighborhood. "Yes, it was somewhere around here."

Soo-Jin gently tugged his wrist. "Sir, come on, let’s play. Come, let’s play marbles right now."

"This is so strange. It should be here. This is the alley." he whimpered. "I even brought my dearest Se-Ri here once. It must be here."

"Sir, come back please!"

"Where… My house, where did it go?"

"Sir, we have to play now!"

"I don't want to play. I want to find my house."

"Sir, he’s not in his right mind, sir!" complained the woman then to the staffer. "I think he’s got dementia. He told me he has brain tumor. That does mean that he’s out or…" She groaned, stomping her foot. "Look! He’s not gonna play. So that means he forfeited, right?"

The guard didn't budge.

She scowled. "Rule number two states that a player who refuses to play is eliminated. He just refused to play! Goddammit!"

When the guard stayed still once again, she cursed under her breath. The watchers earlier were strict with them, but are now lenient again. She huffed, pissed off by their inconsistent behavior. She approached the old man. "Just one little game, okay? Here, it’ll be…"

"No, we better go home now. Our house is nearby, Se-Ri. It’s somewhere down this alley."

She didn't care anymore who Se-Ri was. It must've been someone who he mistook Soo-Jin for. Maybe it was his daughter-in-law since he always mentioned her.

"It’ll be so much fun, sir. Please!"

The elderly man just passed her.

Desperate, she blocked his way, and vociferated, "Will you please just fucking pull yourself together, sir? They’ll kill us both if we don’t get started soon!" She sobbed. "You got that thing in your head, so I bet you don’t care what happens here, but I won’t just sit here and die, okay?" She then grabbed his shoulders. "Listen, sir, I can’t die! I need to get out of here. Hana is waiting for me!"

At this, player 001 trembled and he whimpered, "Don’t yell at me. All right, I will, but don’t yell, Se-Ri."

"I don't know who the fuck Se-Ri is, nor do I care, sir. I need to stay alive so you'll play with me. Got it?"

"Yes. I remember a game I always play with my first granddaughter. I'm sure you've heard of it, perhaps played it even."

Soo-Jin was once again skeptical, but she was confident whatever it was, she'll win it. "What is it?"

"Guseulchigi."

The woman was aware that there were many way of playing Guseulchigi as they vary according to region. At that moment, the old man drew a triangle into the sandy ground and collected both of their pouches. He placed all of their glass marbles inside the triangle.

"Do you want to go first, Soo-Jin? or shall we do it by a toss coin?"

"A toss coin will do." She glanced at the guard who pulled out a silver coin that only had triangle and a square on each faces. Her partner chose the square shape and she chose the triangle. In the end, the old man won and he was going to br the first to play.

In Soo-Jin's opinion, it was somehow an advantage. It was like the Ddakji game again where she will have the upper hand in studying her opponent in order to know how to beat them.

She watched as player 001 positioned himself equidistant from the triangle and using his middle finger and thumb, he flicked his throwing marble and knocked out three from three glass marbles outside the drawn triangle.

"I got three!"

Soo-Jin pinched her nose and put up a tight smile.  She proceeded to position herself at the triangle's side. She was familiar with the game since she always played it with Gi-Hun and Sang-Woo while claiming that it's one of the things she can remember other than the car crash.

Mostly, it was this game, some blurry faces, and the car crash she would always dream about some nights. She knew they were from her past, but again, she doesn't care about it.

Flicking her throwing marble, she knocked out four marbles outside of the triangle, making her smile. It was important to calculate how hard to hit them, as they were pretty fragile. It was essential too to note that their throwing marble must not touch the drawn lines or remain inside the shape for they will lose any marbles they've won so far.

The first gunshot sliced through the silent air, disturbing them. Soo-Jin gulped as she heard the announcer declare who died. After that, several others followed, causing her to slightly panic and fear for her life. Every gunshot the woman from existence, it silenced her laughter and dulled her eyes. Every blast to the gentle air laid her warm hands so very cold. It was as if that sound had become the murderer, a brutal shout.

Their game went on and on and the two players have decided to play until four rounds. The elderly man was competitive and eager like her to win as well, and so it became a very close fight. Player 001 won two rounds and she won two as well. It was a tie. A final round was needed to break it.

"You know," he coughed, then giving her a simper. Soo-Jin began to prepare for hitting the marbles and she wantes to focus since it was the last round. "Your eyes remind me of my son, Young-Joon."

She paused and really started to think everything that the old man was telling her. "Really?"

"Yes!" His eyes lit up like he was excited to speak of his son. "You have his wits as well! My second son was very intelligent, resourceful, and brave. He married early, but he finished his education. He was an investment banker, and his wife..." he grinned. "His compassionate wife, Eun-Hee, was a lawyer."

Soo-Jin was beginning to puzzle everything together and the only thing she needed was confirmation. "You keep on telling me about this stuff about your son and his wife. You claim that I look like Eun-Hee, and I have your son's intelligence. What are you really pointing out here, 001?"

He didn't answer her question again. "Why don't we resume our game?"

She sighed and just took her shot in hitting the marbles. She grabbed the glass orbs she got. They were down to the last four. Soon, one of them was going to die.

Could she really let him die?

"It's just that... you always mention them to me, sir, and it's getting frustrating. My own ex even thinks you're my grandfather since you told me about your son and daughter-in-law's car crash. He thinks it's related which I think is bullshit since it could really be a coincidence..." she rambled as the elderly man aimed at the remaining marbles. "There are like a thousand car accidents that happen each year. It's kind of impossible for me."

"Don't you want to know your real family?"

"Like I said, sir, it's... not my priority anymore to find them. What difference does it make? My real and adopted parents are both dead." She then joked, "As if knowing I still have a family relative looking out for me will make me suddenly rich."

Player 001 made his shot and took only one marble. Soo-Jin closed her eyes as her heart and mind battled each other for dominance. She wanted to help the elderly man, but her will to live was stronger. Taking a deep breath, she flicked her throwing marble.

This was it. She was indeed going to let him die.

Soo-Jin grabbed the last two orbs since she successfully pushed them out, an apologetic smile crossing her lips. She could feel emotions rolling over her as she knew what will happen next to her partner. He was going to be shot dead. With a heavy heart, she shook hands with him.

"Thank you for the game, sir. I hope you..." she croaked. "I hope you enjoyed."

"I did." he smiled, knowingly. "I got to play with my little Se-Ri again."

Soo-Jin didn't pay anymore attention to this and just walked away as she couldn't bear the pain of seeing a person she wanted to help die because she wanted to live.

But, life... life still wanted to hurt her.

"You know, I do remember now where and when it happened," stated player 001, nodding. The brunette inclined her head, curious to know. She wasn't going to lie, she was nervous. Nervous because if he will be able to answer correctly where the accident happened, then that means...

They were indeed blood related. They were family. Gajok.

"It was in Chang-dong and it happened on the afternoon of June 14, 1979."

Upon hearing that, Soo-Jin's blinked furiously, her stomach rising to her throat. She stepped closer with eyes widened. That was the place and date where Chun-Hee found her.

Actually, her adoptive mother and father confessed to her before she went to high school that police officers looked for her a month after they brought her home from the center, but they hid her and her adoption papers, afraid that they will take her away from them. They broke down in front of her, crying that they couldn't let their gift be taken.

"My son and his wife were going on a business trip when their car suddenly lost brakes and they crashed against a tree. Their daughter, Se-Ri," he glanced at her. "was confirmed to be still alive, but the police could not find her, no matter how much we pay."

"Is that why you call me Se-Ri? Because I am her?" Her lips trembled as she finally pieced together the events. This old man in front of her was her grandfather. She shook her head in disbelief. "No, how can you be sure I am your granddaughter? This is..."

"I already knew the moment I saw you. You had your father's intellect, your mother's incredible talent, and their determination. Don't your father always tell you that?"

At that, she remembered the words she always  heard from her dreams, "Ri... You are smart, talented, and determined. Nothing can bring you down."

Almost every night she would hear these words in her dreams, and it became her mantra.

Soo-Jin stumbled, feeling the rough wall beneath her fingertips. She felt her chest cave in and she placed her hand above her forehead, her eyes brimming with hot tears. "Harabeoji? Yes? You're my grandfather?"

"It's nice to see you again, my darling Se-Ri."

So, that's why she always felt the need to help him, why she always felt like he was family to her, like they were related. They were indeed connected. They were family.

Chang Soo-Jin was about to kill her grandfather, the only familial connection she has as of this moment.

A cry escaped her lips and she clenched her fist. Her world was spinning again.

Why was the world so cruel?

How could this be life?

Why did the world decide to reveal to her that her family was standing just meters away from her moments before he was going to be shot dead?

A great pang gripped her heart and she punched her clenched fist on the sand, yelling. Her voice boomed across the game hall as she let out all her pent up anger and sadness.

"Se-Ri!" Player 001 stopped her rage, holding her shoulders to steady her. "It's okay."

"Why now? Why only now?"

"It's okay," he wiped away her seething drops of tears. A great sense of weariness sweeps over Soo-Jin, sucking her energy with it. "I'm happy I finally remembered everything. I'm happy that I got to play with my favorite little girl. I'm at peace, Se-Ri."

"Stop calling me, please. It hurts."

And it does. She wasn't supposed to feel that. She didn't care about her real family, right? Then, why did it hurt?

"My dearest granddaughter, Oh Se-Ri, remember me." he offered a melancholic smile, and opened her palm, giving her one of the marbles they played earlier. "Remember me. My name is Oh Il-Nam."

A bullet to the heart.

"Go on, my little dreamer. Go, live your life."

Shocked and still stunned, she stood up. She couldn't understanding anything anymore. Soo-Jin had just let her real family die. With her eyes burning with tears, she lifted her hand and looked at her palm. The marble was inside. Her grandfather's last gift.

"No, wait!" She spun around to go back to her family, but the guards blocked her way. She still needed to speak to him before the timer ran out. They could still bond together. Even for the last time, she wanted to spend time with him. She still had so many questions. "Let me talk to him! Please! Let me go!"

A shot was heard and Soo-Jin stopped fighting against the staffers, collapsing on her knees. All her strength left her body, and she was just shaken by everything that was revealed. A few seconds later, the guards pulled her up and escorted her. She didn't fight them and let them take her where she should be taken, too fatigued and baffled to even complain or speak.

Soo-Jin thought that was the end of her hell.

She was wrong.

For at that moment, her eyes caught sight of Sang-Woo coming out of a corner and her senses became alert again. Where was the boy? Did he die? She never even got to say goodbye to him.

"Sang-Woo?" Her voice cracked, breaking out the staffers' tight grip on her arm. She was trembling so much from her fear. Soo-Jin swept her gaze to his hands and furrowed her eyebrows when she saw him holding an empty pouch. "Where's Minjun?"

He didn't answer.

Her heart raced at his silence and she grabbed his collar, shaking him. "Where is he, Sang-Woo? Answer me -- "

"He won, Soo-Jin. He won."

Soo-Jin's face crumpled. "Wha -- what are you -- where is he?"

"He's right, guardian angel." beamed Minjun at the far side of the corridor. At that moment, she noted how the orange light looked like an aura on his head. "I won. I won against Sang-Woo," he shook his brown pouch, full of marbles. "but, you see, I don't want to win."

"Why? Why are you saying that, Minjun?"

"Because I'm dying, miss."