My mind was blank aside from one thought. 

Eijirou is kissing me. 

On pure instinct, my arms were wrapped around his neck, holding him just as closely as he held me. His other hand found a home on the skin just above my hip. 

I refused to admit how long it took for my brain to get back up to speed with real life. I can't really be blamed though, anyone would forget their morals while kissing Eijirou, it's a little hard to focus on anything else. 

Bakugou's Eijirou is kissing me. 

All it took was that singular thought, and the moment was ruined. I had come crashing back to reality, life punching me the whole way down. I pushed him off, which I realized later was only so easy because he let me. 

"I-" Words wouldn't even form. I couldn't get my mouth to move the way I wanted it to. 

"I'm sorry," he said quickly sitting up. "I just-" 

"No," I cut him off. I didn't want to hear why he'd done it. No matter what he said, I think it'd shatter me. He has some sort of relationship with Bakugou, so why the fuck did he kiss me? Was that cheating? Did he just cheat on him with me? Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm a home-wrecker. Literally, in that case, seeing as they lived together. "I gotta go." I was at the window before he could even move to stop me. 

"Izuku, don't-" 

I didn't wait for him to finish, already halfway through my own window. I slammed it shut, snapping the clasp as soon as both my feet were firmly on my own carpet. My curtains were drawn in an instant. 

I could hear how shaky my breath was as I looked around my room. Everything was the exact same as before I left. I couldn't find anything out of place. 

So why did everything feel different? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My window stayed shut and locked the rest of the weekend, my phone off almost the entire time. I had gotten sick of all the text messages and phone calls. At first, it was just Eijirou, a few from Bakugou, both I didn't care to read. By the time Saturday rolled around, everyone in the friend group was trying to reach me, so I just shut it off. 

I woke up early on Monday, determined to start my walk to school before Eijirou or Bakugou could force me to ride with one of them. My headphones were firmly in my ears, the volume at an almost deafening volume. I kept my head down and my hood up, all the way to my first class. 

I arrived twenty minutes before the first bell even rang, the teacher wasn't even in the room yet. I had done so much sitting and staring over the weekend, that I just finally needed something to kill time. It was probably time I checked some of my notifications. I checked every one of them, besides Eijirou's and Bakugou's. 

Ash~

Hey where are you? 

U coming over? 

We're all just waiting for you

Are you okay? 

Did something happen with your mom? 

Midooooooo

Check your phoooone

You not even reading these

What happened? 

Are you okay? 

We miss u

I took a deep breath after reading through her messages. I felt bad for cutting everyone off, but I just needed the time to think. 

Kami~

Midoooooo

Mina said she's been trying to text you all day

Are you ignoring her? 

And Bakugou and Kirishima? 

And apparently me? 

Are you mad at us? 

Or did something happen with your mom? 

Are you okay? 

We're just gonna break in again if you keep ignoring uuuuuuus

Kiri said we couldn't break in :(

Text us back dude

You're scaring us

I clicked over to Sero's texts next. 

Stoner~

alright what happened? 

you dont go this quiet for nothing

did your mom catch you or something? 

did mina piss you off? shes having a spazz attack rn dude

are you okay? 

I probably should have responded to them, but I knew they'd just hunt me down once they got here anyway. I'd be lucky if I made it to lunch without being cornered somewhere. 

When the bell finally rang, signaling that the first classes had officially started, I was actually worried that Bakugou hadn't shown up. Did Eijirou tell him? Is he so mad at me, that he'd rather deal with his angry mom?

Five minutes into class, the door opened, causing Aizawa to pause his lecture. "You're late, problem child." 

Blond hair and crimson eyes greeted me when I looked over. He was already staring me down and I shrunk into my seat. Despite what everyone seemed to think, I didn't actually have a death wish. 

"Just be happy I showed up at all," he responded gruffly, making his way over to his seat beside me. I flinched when he sat down. 

Aizawa started up his lecture again and I was content to get lost in the drone of it. I wasn't granted that simple pleasure for long though, Bakugou's vice broke all of my concentration a few minutes in. 

"You scared the shit out of everyone this weekend." 

I spared a quick glance over at him, but he was staring straight ahead at the board. "Sorry," I mumbled back, unsure of what to say. I kissed your kind of boyfriend and couldn't face any of you, sorry for ghosting everyone? I didn't think that'd go over well. 

"Kaminari thought you got into some freak accident and died," he added. I turned my full attention to him, knowing that I couldn't even pretend to listen to the teacher anymore. He hadn't used any nicknames. I wasn't sure if I'd ever heard the other bond's name coming from him. "Mina was crying on Saturday because she thought you were mad at her." 

With every new detail he revealed, a sharp stab of guilt was plunged into my chest. I gritted my teeth against it. "I said I was sorry, okay? I just... I couldn't deal with people." I had meant to snap at him, to be angry that he was purposefully trying to hurt me, but my voice was weak even to my ears. 

 "Then you tell us that," he hissed back, finally dragging his eyes away from our teacher and over to me. "You don't go fucking radio silent for days." 

It took me a second to process his words, his anger. He wasn't mad I'd kissed Eijirou, he was mad I didn't text him. Does he even know? 

"I'm sorry," I said again, my voice soft and my eyes glued to the floor between our desks. 

"Just... don't do it again, alright? Fucking nerd," he scoffed, turning back to the front. 

I nodded and class resumed as it always did. 

When lunch rolled around, I debated running away. I could hitchhike into the city, find the club, and just live with Himiko, who now finally had my number. I had sent her a quick text before shutting my phone off, the only one I had extended that courtesy to. I didn't explain why I was closing myself off, just that life was a lot. She understood and said she'd be close to her phone if I changed my mind. 

I walked towards the cafeteria slowly, dread filling me to the brim with every step closer. I braced myself and took a few calming breaths before I officially entered. It felt like I had barely taken a step before I was almost knocked over by two different people. 

"Mido, you're alive!" Kaminari exclaimed, his arms tightly latched around my neck. It was almost hard to breathe. 

"I'm sorry for whatever we did, we didn't mean it, I promise!" Ashido wailed, her arms hugging my torso. 

"Wh- Guys!" Their combined weight nearly toppled me backward. "Loosen up, oh my fuck, I can't breathe, Kami." 

They were off me, apologizing and scanning me from head to toe, probably looking for a visible sign of injury. 

"Guys," I said again, cutting off their anxious rambling. "I'm fine, nothing happened, I'm not mad at any of you. I just needed a breather, ya know? My social battery isn't as endless as yours." It was a poor attempt at a joke, but it seemed to ease their worries. 

"Oh, thank god," Ashido exclaimed, quick to link her arm with mine and drag me in the direction of the group's usual table. "I thought you hated me." 

"I thought you were dead!" Kaminari's relief was evident in his words. 

"I'll send a text before I shut my phone off next time, I hadn't even thought about that," I muttered, resigning myself to my fate. I was stuck eating lunch with them, no matter how hard I tried. 

The other three boys' eyes were on us as soon as we reached the table. I didn't meet any of their gazes, keeping my own eyes trained on the table in front of me. I was pushed into a seat next to Bakugou and Ashido claimed the seat on my other side, it seemed that's where I always ended up. 

"Not dead, noted," Sero said, his voice light as he tried to crack a joke to ease the tension. 

"Not dead," I responded, finally looking up at him. Sero was safe to look at, the other two not so much.

"Sweet, Kaminari owes me five bucks." He was trying his damn hardest to make everything go back to how it had been the week before. I appreciated it, regardless of if he was doing it for me or himself. 

"You guys bet on my death? Really?" I looked between them, one brow raised in question. 

"He started it!" Kaminari shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the black-haired boy. 

Sero shook his head, pointing right back at him. "Because I knew he wasn't dead, you thought he was dead and still agreed to the bet! You're not blaming this on me." 

I laughed softly as they started bickering. Things felt normal for the first time in days. 

A brown bag being dropped in front of me startled me from the fight. I looked at it questioningly and then over to Bakugou, who had dropped it. He still made me lunch?

"Don't look at me like that," he demanded, but his voice didn't hold its usual bite. "You won't eat anything else." 

"Thanks," I mumbled quietly, carefully opening up the bag. Katsudon greeted me. Seriously, what the fuck has been going on lately? I don't respond to anyone for two days and he made my favorite food? Was he also worried I was dead or something? 

I hadn't worked up the courage to look over at Eijirou, who was seated next to Bakugou. I had barely caught a glimpse out of my peripheral vision, but that's as close as I got. I didn't have high hopes of being able to meet his eyes any time soon. 

"So, are we allowed to ask why you went ghost over the weekend?" Sero's voice asked. 

"No," I responded easily, taking a bite of my food. It was still warm. How was it still warm? Did he... heat it up for me?

"Lame," he said but instantly changed the topic anyway. Damn, he was a good friend. "Dabi wants to know if we can play on Friday again." 

"Again?" Ashido asked in surprise. "We're usually only there, like, once a month if that. Now he wants us twice?"

I continued eating, something I had neglected to do very much over the weekend, while I listened to their conversation. 

Sero shrugged. "I don't know, he didn't say why. He sounded pretty annoyed though, and I could hear Toga in the background of the call. I think he might just want us there so Izuku can deal with her for a night and give him a break," he concluded with a laugh. 

"Do I have to go every time you guys play?" I whined. "I don't even like clubs." 

"Hey dude," Sero started, turning his attention to me again. "If you being there lands us a gig, I'll have Mina hogtie you  and drag you with." 

"Rude," I exclaimed, shoving another bite of katsudon into my mouth. 

"Why're you even complaining?" Sero asked in exasperation. "It's not like you had a bad time on Friday!" 

I groaned, remembering Saturday morning and how awful I felt. "I can't keep getting drunk every weekend, stoner boy." 

"Why not?" he whined. 

"You take care of him hungover then, see how much you want him to drink then," Bakugou cut in. "He's worse than Pinky." 

Sero blinked, looking between me and Bakugou. "God damn." 

"I'm not that bad!" I said, throwing my hands up in annoyance.

Bakugou flicked my forehead, a nearly daily occurrence at that point. "Believe it or not, nerd, I'm actually trying to help you." 

I rubbed at the spot he'd hit. "Well, you can try to help without making me sound insufferable." 

"But you are insufferable." 

"Fuck off and die," I responded quickly, purposefully looking away from him. 

"Point proven," he said, I could vaguely see him gesturing at me from the corner of my eye. 

"What was that?" I asked, cupping my ear. "I can't hear anything over the sound of you fucking off and dying." 

"Just shut up and eat your damn food," the blond tutted. 

I grabbed my fork and speared another chunk of katsudon and then pointed it at him. "This is not because you told me to, I was gonna eat again before you said anything." 

"Of course you were, Deku." He wore his smug little smile that made me want to smack him just a little bit. 

I said nothing and just ate my lunch.