Inside, you dropped the items on the small wooden dining table that looked barely functional. You and Kylo had built it yourselves just a month ago, after eating with plates in your laps grew too messy and tiring. It looked poor

Everything in your home was small, mostly handmade, or picked over from the Silencer or other ships that had been abandoned in the deep, lush forest you took residence in.

And you loved it.

The pots and bowls you used were made of clay from the muddy banks in the river twenty minutes south. The chairs were hunks of log draped with animal fur. Your bed was a pile of furs and cloths and fabrics artfully draped by your hands to look and feel nice.

Everything was perfect.

"I'll go ahead and start dinner," you said. "We should turn in early tonight if we are going to go down and look for abandoned ships further down the river."

"You're right," he said, hanging his cloak on the hook by the door. "I need to make a list of all we need to look for there."

You started to take bowls from the cabinets, but you were looking at him. "Hey," you said.

He looked at you. "Yes?"

"I love you," you told him, smirking.

He made his way around the small kitchen table and hooked an arm around your waist. He kissed you softly.

"I know, princess," he said.

You were beaming like a child, your heart full of so much love. "Hurry up and make the list of things we need so you can help me make dinner."

He kissed you again, sending your heart beating wildly.

Hours later, you were sitting at the small table, spooning the soup you made into his bowl. He thanked you softly, dunking the spoon in and taking a bite. 

"Is it good?" you asked. 

He nodded. 

"Good. I changed it from last time. I don't think you really liked it as much as you said you did." You laughed. 

His eyebrows furrowed. "No, no, I liked it-"

There was a knock on the door. You jumped and Kylo turned his head to stare at it. 

"What do we do?" you whispered. 

If there was a knock at the door, that meant nothing good. No one knew where you lived. It was in a remote area of the woods, hours away from the village you went to buy supplies. 

He held up a hand to you, telling you to calm down and stay quiet. "I'll be right back," he breathed, and you nodded. "Stay here."

Kylo hurried into the closet, where he kept all remainders of his and your time in the First Order - including the weapons. 

You stood slowly from your seat as Kylo hurried back in. He held his hand out for you, and you quickly hurried over to take his hand in both of yours. 

He went to the door, weapon ready. You quickly opened it-

In the bright orange of the setting sun, two small children stood in front of the door, eyes full of tears. 

You put a hand on Kylo's chest. 

"We went too far from the village," the oldest one said, voice tight. You could tell she was trying to be brave for her little brother. "C-Could you tell us which direction to go? Our mama is there waiting."

"Oh. Yes. Just keep going straight right, right through those trees." You pointed to them. "You'll find a spring in about twenty minutes after you walk. Just follow the spring at that point."

"Thank you," she said. 

"It'll be a few hours walk," you told them. "Let me get you two some food, okay?" 

You stood and Kylo moved out of your way. He watched you fill two cups with the leftover soup, and then grab two loaves of coarse bread you'd made a few days before. You knelt in front of the children and handed them each a cup and a loaf of bread. 

"Take water from the spring too, it's safe to drink." You smiled. "You can get back before the sun sets if you run. May the Force be with you."

"Thank you," they both breathed, the tears drying from their eyes almost right away. 

You nodded and stood, watching them walk down the path, sipping from the mugs and hurrying fast so they wouldn't spill. 

Gently, you called out, "You won't remember coming here. You won't remember seeing us. You'll just keep going right, because you know." 

They both repeated what you said, and you shut the door once they disappeared through the trees.

/ / /

Kylo finished eating, and you gave him the remainder of what was in his bowl. You'd given away any opportunities for seconds; and you could settle for just eating some bread instead of finishing your stew. 

"Thank you," he said softly, almost like a whisper. 

You gave him a concerned look. "What's wrong? You've been quiet today."

"I've been thinking."

"About?" 

"Our family," he said, swallowing hard. 

"Yours and mine?" you asked, eyebrows furrowing. 

"No. Well - just us." He sighed. "And if we were ever going to have children."

You jumped slightly. "You... you..." Your voice dropped to a whisper. "You want children?"

"I didn't before, but I do now."

"What changed your mind?" you asked. 

"This last year," he said. "I have fallen more in love with you since we've been here. I have seen you take care of me throughout everything. Protect me. Make me happy." He shrugged. "I know you and I could do this together. But of course I know we've never discussed it... and I don't know if you want the same. And if you don't, then we won't discuss it further." 

You put a hand over his. "I want the same."

"You do?" he asked. 

"I do." You beamed. "I truly do."

He got up out of his chair and you held your hands up. He bent down and you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his arms encircle your waist. He kissed your cheek and lifted you to your feet. You laughed. 

Your home was so full of love and light these days.

/ / /

Kylo slept on his stomach, with his arm draped over your stomach. You were not conscious enough to notice how he was whimpering.

In his consciousness, he was alone in a room. It was completely black. 

Then-

"History repeats itself."

In a burst of light and sound, he was on the side of a street in some city, gazing down at the moving casket that held his wife. Her hair was sprawled out around her head, decorated in soft white flowers. Her stomach was swollen, yet he knew it was empty - and her gown was a beautiful black. 

His lips parted and his eyes softened, and he noticed how everyone around him was crying. When he glanced back at your body, it was someone else. He knew her.

"Don't follow the same mistakes of your grandfather."

Suddenly, he was falling. Back into the darkness. 

He looked around. "What is this?" 

"You've allowed yourself to fall for the tricks of the Light side. You've allowed her to be corrupt, and in turn, you have followed blindly like a dog."

Kylo shook his head. "This isn't a dream." 

"No. No, it is not." 

A scream - his own scream - made him turn around again. He saw himself on the ground, down a hill, flames consuming his body as he struggled to crawl up the black sand. At the top of the hill, a flash of blue - Rey. 

"This is me showing you the true way to rise above your past. To become even more than Darth Vader was."

The buzz of a lightsaber. He could feel the heat on his skin. He turned, ducked, and scrambled back, seeing you, a blue lightsaber in hand. You swung it at him again, a cry of anger and pain escaping you. 

"___!" he cried, falling backwards. You vanished. 

He struggled to get back onto his feet, but once he did, he saw, up in the corner, the murder of his own father. 

"I don't want any part of this," he whispered. 

"You are Kylo Ren. Heir to Darth Vader. Rightful Supreme Leader of the First Order. Leader of the Knights of Ren. My future apprentice."

"I'm none of those things now," he whispered. "Kylo Ren... Ben Solo... they're both dead." 

"Then who are you?" 

Kylo didn't know what to say. 

"You know what will happen if you don't obey me."

In the blackness around him, there you lay, in the casket. Still and cold.

"History repeats itself."

Kylo woke up gasping for air, a scream strangling him. "She's gone! She's gone-"

You were shaking his shoulders, whispering, "Hey, hey!" 

He turned over on his back, pushing his hair off his forehead. He was shaking and crying. He pressed his fingers hard against his eyes, feeling the warm wetness from his tears.

"Kylo, what is it?"

"You're gone."

"What?"

"It's just... it's just..." He dropped his hands. In the dim light, he could see you. "It's just a bad dream. That's all. I just need to see you."

"Okay." You laid down on the pillows and moved closer to him, placing a hand on his chest. "I'm right here. It's okay." 

He put an arm around you and you moved closer to lay on his chest. He focused on the warmth of your body and the sound of your breathing. 

He could remember all the way back to when he met you on the island, when you would lay on him like this. It was always dark, you were always quiet, slowly growing less terrified of getting caught and more comfortable with the rhythm of his breath and the feeling of home that he felt when he could hold you like this. 

"Ben?" you whispered. 

"Yes?" 

You lifted your head and pressed your lips to the corner of his mouth. He looked at you. 

"I am always going to be right here," you told him, pulling away. "Right here. I'll never be gone."

"I love you," he said.

You rested your head back down on his chest. "I love you so much, Ben Solo."

He stared up at the ceiling and rubbed your back up and down until you fell asleep. 

Ben Solo. 

It sounded funny to him. He had no true name.