The next morning was cold, Halloween steadily approaching but winter eager to move in. After declining Bel's offers of breakfast ('I won't burn the eggs this time!') you headed to the dining hall, where Eleanor met you in your usual spot. You sat down with your trays of absently taken porridge and were a bit surprised to finally see a familiar flash of red hair.

Theodore was eerily quiet, although you thought if he were being tortured this whole time you would know. When asked about his whereabouts, he told you with a rather intense look that he was at his home in the woods.

No matter the questions you asked, it was soon obvious in Theodore's pleading eyes that he wanted you to stop. So instead, you told him about your night in the night dorm. Eleanor was not thrilled, and neither was Theodore. How funny was it that before everything had started falling apart, spending a night in that mysterious dorm would have been fun- cause for rebellious celebration. The boys didn't have time to chastise you, however.

"She must know something," Eleanor said hopefully when you brought up Julianne. "Arcadia not being safe... what if she knows which night student has your you know what?"

"I don't know who to trust anymore," Theo sighed. Then he looked at both of you. "And I don't think Maurice is thinking straight."

Puzzled, you asked what he meant.

"This is not the place to talk about it," he said, as chattering pairs of day students sat together at the next table over. "Just... try and find what we're looking for, but... I don't expect either of you to put yourselves in danger for my sake."

"But you're already in danger!" Eleanor said hotly.

Theo stood up. He was wearing the same uniform he had been every day, his head boy badge shiny in the daylight. And yet- he seemed so much older.

"I appreciate what the two of you are doing for me, I really do," he said wearily. "But there is only so much two humans can do. I will be fine. I always am."

"Theo..."

"Let Maurice know what you find. Keep your spirits up."

"When will we see you next?" You asked.

But he was already walking away.

After a particularly gruelling afternoon of classes and a test you'd entirely forgotten about, you set off to the infirmary with Eleanor, much like when you went to visit Sophia. You'd hoped Theodore would surprise you by being there but dishearteningly he wasn't.

It hadn't changed since your last visit. A short woman you assumed to be a nurse seemed to know who you there to see without you saying. You half wondered if she were a vampire too- but then realized why it would probably be impossible for a vampire to work in a medical setting.

"Same hall as last time," Eleanor said to no one.

Through the sliver of the open door you saw Simone's shock of black hair amidst the otherwise entirely white room. Although not entirely white- upon entering you were greeted with a beautiful bouquet of pink and purple flowers. Carnations, mostly. The others you didn't pretend to recognize, but the handwriting on the card you did.

"That was nice of Theodore," you said softly.

Simone stirred under the hospital sheets, her blue eyes half visible under a pair of dark lashes. You wondered how long she had been asleep for. Then you noticed the IV in her arm and felt sick.

"Simone?" Eleanor whispered. You hit him lightly.

"Don't wake her-" you shushed. But it was too late. As if a magic word had been spoken, Simone slowly opened her eyes, half-yawned, and tried to sit up in bed.

"Y/n?" She said. Her voice had an echo you couldn't place. "Eleanor?"

"How are you?" He asked. Memories of why Simone was here surged through your head and suddenly your throat was very dry.

"Good?" She replied. "What... what day is it?"

"Wednesday."

"I meant the date..."

"17th I think," Eleanor replied, pushing up his specs.

"Why am I here?" She asked with the slightest smile. As if she couldn't believe it herself.

"You don't know!?" Eleanor asked twice as deep in disbelief.

You looked at eachother, unsure of what to do. A few seconds of silence passed.

"I'll be right back," Eleanor said, and he was already out the door, leaving you slack-jawed with your bed-ridden roommate.

"Can you explain this to me?" She asked, a frown on her face.

You thought of the state you'd discovered her in, of the bandages that were once around her pale neck, of the times she'd offhandedly called Roman cute. You thought of the almanac she claimed to have read, and the confrontation that followed.

And the result of all this thinking was that there was no way in hell you'd be able to explain anything.

"You... um... were in a bit of an accident," you told her slowly, eyes darting towards the IV. "I don't know all the details, but you've been here since yesterday. What do you remember?"

It looked like hard work. Simone shrugged.

"You weren't with us on patrol that night..."

"I wasn't?" She said, surprised. "I never miss patrol."

You became distracted by the back and forth voices outside that were becoming louder- you recognized one as Eleanor's.

"So you don't know why you weren't there?" You asked, your hopes deflating.

"No, sorry," she answered. "When can I leave?"

Just then Eleanor marched into the room, furious.

"The nurse says she needs the IV because she's lost a lot of blood and that she doesn't remember her actions leading up to the event," he turned to his friend. "Simone, you've gotta remember what happened."

"I'm lost," she said.

"Y/n, it would make sense if she didn't remember the moments before the injury, as she was nearly unconscious, correct?" He continued. "And I'll give them 'the blood' because we both saw how much there was- but we were on patrol for more than three hours."

"Simone- can you tell us the last thing you remember?" You asked, worry beginning to take over.

"You guys are being weird," she said. "I'm really tired. I don't know- I remember... I remember being here, during fall break."

Simone reached a weak hand towards the flowers, stroking the pink petals with a distant look.

"I remember... being... sad," she continued. "I hadn't felt that way since summer. It was like, a voice, in my head: 'it's all your fault you're alone, why would anybody want to be around you, you're so miserable all the time.' It was really bad. But then- sometimes- I would hear the same voice, and it was kind, and it would tell me that it didn't matter because 'you have me.'

She paused.

"It was nice of Theodore to bring these."

"Fall break was more than a week ago," Eleanor said.

The silence in the room was stifling.

"Simone, we know you'll come around," you tried to sound positive, "we're just glad that you're... okay."

"The nurse says hopefully you'll be back before the weekend," Eleanor added, gritting his teeth.

"Where's Theo?" She asked. "I haven't seen him in a long time."

"He's..."

"He's good," Eleanor said, looking at you. "He wanted to come with us but he was here earlier. He's probably getting it handed to him by Cadere right now."

Simone laughed. It was something you used to be afraid of, but now wished was the height of your worries- detention.

After a few attempts at lightening up the conversation, you both decided it was time to go. Maurice and Jack would probably want to hear about your night in the dorm and there was only so much daylight before patrol.

After saying your temporary goodbyes and promising to visit every day, you felt there was something important you'd been wanting to ask Simone, but it was as if her memory loss had crept up on you like a shadow- and you were forced to leave having forgotten.

Jack's was your official headquarters, but on your way to Arcadia plaza (a rather conspicuous place for a portal), you ran into just the man you were looking for.

Maurice told you hurriedly that he wanted to meet you in Sylabil's office to talk. He wouldn't stop Eleanor from going to Jack's but he urged him to go catch up on schoolwork instead, barely looking his way.

Towards the library, nestled alongside its corner was your English teacher's office. Most offices were inside buildings, but her office was like its own tiny one room house. This little building was the office- and the daffodils along the windowsill and homemade mailbox outside (for collecting essays- but still) were queerly amiable. Or perhaps the reason why it seemed so much like a house was because- according to Maurice- Siena Sylabil slept upstairs.

Eleanor's other half assured you that no one was inside and he was expected to be there mapping out fourth year assignments. But more pressingly- he didn't think it was a good idea to use the Arcadia portal to get to Jack's for now. During the break it was easier and you'd all but perfected your splash into it, but it was best not worth the risk for now, at least not during the day.

Maurice's worries were only justified when you told him about Julianne's strange warning and your encounter with Avery.

"I don't doubt he's seen us together, or suspects we've been talking about magic," he admitted, with a sigh. "Avery knows me too well. He probably thinks I've been brought here by Cadere and Petrikov to establish order- which isn't untrue, I'll give him that."

You listened eagerly across the desk from him.

"But while I think it would finally put us on top of him to know his past, since he always seems to know everything, I don't advise you to just start trusting him or believing a thing he says. Avery is not honest- that's a load of bullshit."

You were a bit taken aback by Maurice's strong words. But Theo seemed like his best friend, someone who had saved his very life- he had every right to be angry if he suspected Avery was jeopardizing that.

"You think he's the guy?" You asked.

"I wouldn't put it past him," he said, a dangerous glint in his eyes. You noticed he'd put his glasses on- he didn't always wear them, it seemed.

Overall, while Maurice appeared less than savoury towards you acting on staying the night at the night dorm without talking to him first, he was impressed that you'd done so anyway, and took it as reassurance that you were willing to do what it took to help Theo. Although he dismissed his earlier comments too.

"It's like him to undermine any danger he's in- either by joking about it or simply ignoring it," Maurice said briefly. "I think you have a really good chance of not just getting the kitsunebi back but of getting undeniable truth from these students."

"I don't know how much closer we'll be... you said it takes time to grow the trees but I won't sit around here pretending nothing is going on."

"As far as I'm aware I'm quite certain whoever's doing this hasn't harmed Theodore in any way other than holding onto his kitsunebi yet..." Maurice went on, "but if you can do this and we get lucky, they won't even get the chance."

The last thing you talked about before you made your way back across the plaza to the night dorm, ready to' stay strong and keep up with patrol' as Maurice instructed you, was Simone. He told you he would be visiting her as soon as possible because if she really had forgotten not just the events leading up to her injury but the entire week prior, there was likely something else going on. He sounded like Eleanor.

His brother escorted you out of the office, wishing you luck. Before you could go however, he brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and said "you don't need to take them with water either." Embarrassed, you got ready for what was sure to be an interesting night.

~
As you met up with Eleanor, and the noticeably smaller patrol, you found yourself the subject of much poking and prodding as to 'what happened to Simone- is she alive- I heard she was stabbed- gang violence, I'd never have thought.' Luckily, Sylabil commanded everyone's attention after a few seconds- she wasn't usually at patrols anymore.

But she was there to tell you the boy who often skipped patrol had quit and that Simone was fine and well; recovering from an unexpected injury, but returning soon. You thought this was all but she had one last thing to add, and this was that the night patrol would probably be suspended after this semester.

You and Eleanor exchanged glances while the others chattered eagerly, one girl whining 'this is the only time I get to see them!!'

The impending end of patrol altogether seemed to make everyone eager to work harder though, as if it was their fault patrol wasn't going as smoothly and with enough grit it could be reinstated. Most of the girls fled like birds- you imagined to catch glimpses of the boys before they were potentially taken away from their night time routines forever.

Your first instinct however, was to go to your room, remembering the kioku plum pills Maurice had fashioned. You hadn't been in your room since the morning, and feared the worst might have happened to them. But your room was as you'd left it, as far as you could tell. And the pills should work as long as they were in your system so for now, you were fine.

You clicked your heels together as you sat atop your regal bedding- the wooden heels. You hoped you wouldn't have to use these on Avery tonight.

As you tried not to look too anxious strolling around the halls, you were surprised to find them quite deserted. This only increased your anxiety, significantly. It was like being in a horror movie- and you were being set up for a jump scare around every corner.

But no such scares came, and you didn't feel yourself being watched. You were simply alone. The night students, you presumed, were being firmly reinforced and probably actually in class for once. You half hoped it was because Avery got in trouble.

Still, you were no further along your quest to find the potential thief, until you were daringly walking through the night boys' hall that you heard movement from behind one of the doors. A muffled sort of crying... or was it laughing Or groaning? It was too hard to hear properly, so carefully, you stopped and moved closer to listen.

"Uuhhh..." The barely audible voice half-groaned. It sounded like someone was making noises in their sleep- but you knew vampires couldn't do that.

Whose room is this? You wondered.

'Get O ut' you find yourself faintly thinking, and then you knew.

"Lucian?" You asked gently, slowly pushing the door open. "What are you-"

But you were at a loss for words.

The boy was lying across his desk, white shirt haphazardly speckled crimson, the back of his neck wet. You couldn't see his face but you did see the bloody knife.

He was still as a statue but when you let yourself in, he painfully lifted himself like a rag doll and turning to you, you saw his face.

The golden eyes that were once lively, sarcastic, and protective, were a hollow shell of their former brilliant yellow. Beneath them the dark circles were unimaginable for someone who couldn't be sleep-deprived, and Lucian's shoulder blades poked through his mostly white shirt.

"What happened- why is there blood on that... oh no."

At once you'd seen Lucian's left palm, a thick slice from pinky to thumb that was spilling blood onto the desk and whatever he'd been writing on. You fought the urge to vomit.

"Go away y/n," he said, in a voice that sounded like he'd been swallowing rocks.

Against your better judgement you closed the door and stepped closer to him.

"What are you doing!?" You asked, terrified for him. "Please..."

"Don't look, you have to go," he said, barely audible.

"What are you doing to yourself!?" You asked, beginning to well up. "You have to stop."

You watched in horror as he brought his skeletal hand to his mouth, and consumed the remaining blood from his palm.

Eager to look away, you noticed the bottles and bottles of what you only assumed once held alcohol in them scattered across the floor around his bed- many of them broken.

"I have to... I can't... no one innocent can be hurt by me," he said in a cracked voice. Lucian turned back around to the desk and held his arms over his head like he was in a nightmare.

"You need blood..." you said dryly. "Luci, you're dying..."

He didn't say anything.

"You're dying-" you began, but were cut off by "don't call me that."

After a few shallow breaths he continued.

"I am not your friend, I am a monster and in the... interest of everyone here... I deserve to die..... I want to die. Let me."

You didn't know whether to run for Dimitri, or any other night student... Cadere couldn't know you knew about them at all. What you did know what that Lucian couldn't die.

"No," you said forcefully. "You of all people deserve to live... please."

"I have done horrible things," he said gravely, turning around to face you once again."You don't- deserve to see this. Please..."

"The others are right," you choked, daring to walk closer. "You can't run away from who you are. You're not a monster Lucian, but I'm sorry that this is what life has given you to deal with. Believe me, you deserve better."

"Don't lie," he said fearfully. "And don't come any closer y/n."

"You need blood Lucian."

He stood up, still towering over you but otherwise half the man. Amid the sound of broken glass he practically flattened himself into the wall.

"No no no, y/n, no," he croaked desperately. "Please."

You bent down, picking up a fragment of what once belonged to a glass of imported whiskey, as he continued to plead.

"I'm begging you," he cried. "Don't make me do this."

"I'm not going to let you keep doing this to yourself Lucian," you said, raising the glass.

"Please y/n, I'll never forgive you."

You wished there was a better way.

But it was too late.

Already the blood had begun to trail down your hand like red rain droplets racing down a car window. There was silence between you two for just a second. And then the night student grabbed you with speed you thought impossible for his state and drank from your open wound- the glass twinkling on the ground.

One arm wrapped around your waist, the other forcibly holding your hand as he drank, you felt no different from how you'd expected until Lucian pulled you closer and closer. In just a fraction of a second you realized how much he was still trying to restrain himself with your hand because when he looked up, and you saw your friend's glowing yellow eyes, you were afraid.

In that moment, all you had time to see were Lucian's long white fangs before your scream was silenced by the sound of your blood being drawn from your neck. It was like you could feel the life leaving you and going to Lucian. The arms that had held you before playfully tossing you into the lake so long ago were tensing up around you, like a great white python. And now you were going to be swallowed whole by an endless sea of yellow.

"Luci a n-" you barely heard yourself over the sound of your heartbeat. Was it slowing?

Your grip on the back of his shirt weakened. His hold on your hair tightened.

That was all you could hear, for what felt like forever. Even though the two fangs didn't hurt as much as you'd anticipated. He was so hungry. He was never going to stop. You were probably going to die.

You tried to say his name again, like a naive child searching the streets for their lost pet. Only your lips parted and nothing came out.

Then you felt your arms sink, and the music of your body slow, and the white of Lucian's hair darken. A pleasant drowsiness was pulled over you by a kind stranger and you felt yourself unsatisfied with resisting it. It sang to you in harmonies of warm light and melodies of silver. Quickly the room was becoming darker too, Lucian disappearing from your thoughts all together. The corners of your mouth curved upward as you opened your eyes to find yourself in a new reality.

In a backyard you'd only seen in photographs was the swingset your parents said you'd lost your first tooth on after falling off. For some reason this made you giddy. Why was the sky so red? Oh well.

This seat needs to be cleaned. There- that's better. It would probably be more fun if someone pushed you but so much raw excitement had filled you with glowing elation now that you didn't care. The air tasted like freshly cut grass and you were starting to gain momentum.

With childish glee you used all your weight to propel yourself as high as possible. That's right- you were going to reach the moon! It would be amazing!

Higher!

HIGHER-

the earth was spinning so fast you couldn't believe how fast a kaleidoscope of shapes and colours the likes of which you'd never seen and- the ground cascaded up and down when you landed like it was made of trampoline.

"Y/n!" You heard your mom call. She probably saw your sail from the kitchen window.

You were already back on the swings, feet dangling from it eager to get back to the clouds.

"Y/n!" You heard her again.

A flappy noise overhead made you look up. The sky was turning black- how long were you out for? What a beautiful bird. He landed on the swing beside you, cawing. His eyes were like tiny amethysts, and they did not approve.

"Y/n!" You heard again. This time you sighed- your mom was probably going to tell you to be more careful. You felt a gap in your mouth and your eyes widened. The bird quickly flew away. The screen door opened, but the sky was becoming less. The swings were becoming less. You were becoming less.

"Y/n!"

You blinked your eyes at Lucian, who materialized out of the darkness. He was leaning over you, gripping your shoulders furiously, grief horrifyingly written on his face.

"Are- are you okay?" His voice cracked while he hesitantly released his hold. You were atop his bed, you realized.

"What... what happened?" You asked faintly.

He swallowed.

"I think you're lucky to be alive."

You instinctively felt for your neck, Lucian looking away. You could feel where he bit you- only there wasn't a lot of blood, or any as far as you could tell. Instead of skin was mesh- a bandage of some kind. He'd already patched you up.

"Am I- are you..."

"I am okay," he said sombrely. Lucian held up his right hand. "But I had to give you some of my blood- to... to make you better."

"Isn't that how you turn someone into-"

"Don't sit up," he said, and you obeyed. "You won't turn into a vampire y/n."

Why did he look like someone had just died?

"You... were fading. Fast," he continued, unable to meet your eyes. "Then somehow I- just before you started going unconscious... it was really bad, really bad y/n. I'm glad you're okay."

He half mustered a smile. It didn't reach his eyes- which looked significantly better. Lucian seemed at odds with being near you and leaving- rocking slightly but every so often glancing towards the door.

"I'm sorry y/n," he said in a broken voice.

You shook your head weakly.

"I'm sorry," Lucian repeated.

You didn't know what to say or do next. Slowly you could feel your joints becoming more awake. You felt where the bandage was.

"Cadere will have to know," he said dryly. "If you didn't kill me I knew they would- him or the others."

"I didn't do this to hurt you," you began.

"- I know."

Lucian sat down on the end of the bed like your dad used to do. He motioned to your neck.

"The wound will hopefully disappear in less than an hour. The only thing my pureblood is good for," he said bitterly.

You straightened your back, sitting up.

"Can you... tell me what it was like?"

Lucian eyed you curiously.

"Before Arcadia- I mean."

In some kind of internal debate, Lucian sighed and said that, since you couldn't go to your room just yet anyway, he might as well tell you.

Lucian gingerly explained that he was the youngest of four siblings, and that he used to live with his parents; although since then he'd heard he had new siblings. He didn't care.

His mother and father were horrible to each of their children, their main purpose for even having them to surmise household power for the Lavendale name- Lucian despised most of all. Purebloods were rare, even then. Not only was their blood much more potent than regular vampire blood, but pureblood children were known to have extraordinary powers. Since Lucian showed no sign of any abilities, he was nearly killed as a toddler, but his mother insisted they wait.

"Eventually it just became too much effort to kill me, and by then the other families knew I'd been born," he said. "I guess you could say I got lucky," he added sarcastically.

"It wasn't all bad though- since my family didn't pay much attention to me I was able to sneak out more. The town not far from our manor was really nice. Kinda like Delwood. 1858 was a looong time ago... but I still remember it. Nobody really noticed when I was gone, but my family was brutal y/n."

You asked him what he meant. All he said was they'd give Vlad the Impaler a run for his money.

"Humans were nothing to them," he said angrily. "Absolutely nothing. And if they treated me like they treated my siblings, I'd probably have turned out like them."

You thought of what Theodore said the last time you trained together- about Lucian's family being killed by a vampire hunter.

He cleared his throat and continued.

"One night I came home and... they were all dead. It was awful. My parents were in Italy when it happened. If they had gone to Italy afterwards, they probably would have slaughtered the Cerullos."

"The Cerullos... you mean-"

"Dimitri's family, yes," he nodded. "My parents thought they had some part of it- although they blamed them for everything. Or maybe it was the legendary vampire hunter, finally deciding to take revenge on us. It's all very complicated y/n, but even this is just speculation. I took the chance to leave that place forever. And you know what? I was right. They never even bothered looking for me."

You could feel the slight pain in your neck fading.

"Cadere found me not long after, and did everything he could to help me control my thirst," he explained. "Cadere wasn't that old a vampire then either, actually. He's changed a lot. I would have liked to have seen him when he was a human."

"What about Arcadia Academy?" You asked, intrigued.

Lucian waved a dismissive hand.

"That came way later. After Cadere had his own little run in with the Cerullos. That's for another time."

You glanced towards the door but really wanted to stay.

"I think we better get you back to bed," Lucian sighed. Although he physically had improved quite dramatically, nothing could hide the stress on his face.

"Wait- what's going to happen?" You asked.

"Well, I should probably clean this place up... it will be overwhelmingly obvious what's happened to me in the morning."

"Don't tell anyone," you said.

"Cadere's been trying to get me to drink for days. He probably would have forced me himself if it came to it," he remarked, "but y/n, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was after our last encounter in the library. I really am sorry. For everything."

You stood up, Lucian stepping on a piece of broken glass as he stepped backwards, and you hugged him.

"... Thank you y/n."

"Things will be alright, won't they?" You asked, letting go and looking at him.

"I hope so," he said.

And with that, feeling much better, you tried to half run as quickly as possible back to your room. And you thought things might be alright, because you were alive, and Lucian was alive. What you didn't know yet was that most of what Lucian told you was a lie.

Back in your room, this didn't matter though. The vial of 'pills' in your bag that had been 'Lucian's' were hopefully connected now to the kioku seed. All you'd have to do was wait, and tell yourself you did the right thing; that the kioku trees would be planted and the leaves would give you the answers in time. But whether your 'hope' would be enough against the truth, you didn't know. And you didn't care. Because now was time for sleep.

~
Fan here- let me know your thoughts! This was a very long chapter, I had a blast writing it. Thanks for reading it! Sorry for being busy- have been out of town. Lots of love,
~ Your number one Fan < 3