"Dude. Are you serious?" Seokjin asks Eunsook, as if in disbelief. He leans over her calculus papers, checking them for her, and she grimaces. "You said two times three is eight."

"I did?" She asks incredulously, snatching the papers from Seokjin and skimming it for the mistake. "Oh. I did." She frowns.

"Ha!" Jungkook snickers from his place on the wall where he leans, watching the whole ordeal play out. "Eunsook's dumb." He teases. Rolling her eyes, Eunsook sends him a gesture with a particular finger.

"Eunsook just misread the three as an exponent, actually." She snaps. "Two to the third power is eight." She says, as if to reassure herself, validate herself. Jungkook quirks an eyebrow at her, clearly amused.

"Eunsook's talking in the third person now." He says, a shit-eating grin on his face. Groaning Eunsook massages the bridge of her nose with her two fingers, trying to soothe the headache that blooms between her eyes that only calc and Jungkook can give her.

"Hey, don't be a dick." Seokjin scolds him, rubbing Eunsook's shoulder. "Don't worry, Sookie. You only got a couple things wrong, and they were all little mistakes. Easy fixes." He tries to reassure her, but she doesn't feel much better. Her schedule has been getting harder and harder for her to balance lately. She goes to class during the day, works all night. She used to have time to do homework and study during the day, but her work has been slowly adding up somehow. She has resorted to doing homework in between customers during her night shifts. Her brain stops working after midnight, and it's leading to mistakes in her work, but she doesn't have time to do it at another time.

This is partly due to the fact that she spends what time she isn't working or in class drawing. Ever since she picked the hobby up again, she hasn't been able to stop. She craves the feeling of a charcoal pencil in her hand, yearns for the sound it makes as she brushes it against the thick, creamy paper of the sketchbook Namjoon gave her. She is almost done her portrait of Seokjin, and she dutifully carts her sketchbook between home and work in case Namjoon comes in and asks to see her progress.

"I hate math." She states tiredly.

"Said the accounting major." Jungkook jokes. She knows he's just kidding, but the reality of it this late at night is a slap in the face. She feels a lump growing in her throat, the beginnings of tears stinging her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on. Eunsookie, are you crying?" Seokjin asks softly, holding her by both shoulders now.

"No." She lies, but her voice comes out strained with tears. Seokjin gasps, pulling her to him in an embrace, arms around her as if sheltering her. He shoots a glare at Jungkook, who watches with wide eyes as Eunsook cries into Seokjin's chest.

"Look what you did, Jungkook. You made her cry, dumbass." Seokjin exclaims, and Jungkook has a look of pure panic on his face. He hurriedly skates over to them, bending his knees and hunching his back a little so he's at eye level with Eunsook, who peeks out from Seokjin's chest at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I was just kidding." He murmurs, and she sighs shakily. Emerging from Seokjin's embrace, she wipes her eyes. 

"It's okay, Kookie. It's not you." She explains with a sigh, but Jungkook and Seokjin don't look willing to drop the subject.

"Then, what is it?" Seokjin asks. "What's wrong?" 

Eunsook opens her mouth to respond, but stops, hesitates. She doesn't talk about things like this with Seokjin and Jungkook. They're her best friends, but their relationship has never been a serious one. They're all fun and games, Eunsook's escape from the solemnity of her life--all numbers and facts and figures. With Seokjin and Jungkook, Eunsook can forget about her glum future and just be happy. Blissfully ignorant for a while. She already doesn't really talk about this part of her life, but her fear of breaking the boundary between her unfortunate reality and the fantasy she lives when she's with Jungkook and Seokjin makes her even more uninclined to talk about it. The only person she feels comfortable enough to discuss it with is Namjoon, and even then, there's a line that she won't allow him to cross. So instead of the truth, she says:

"Nothing. I'm just tired." She lies. The two men don't seem to buy it, but she knows one thing that will make them drop it. "And PMSing." Eunsook adds. Understanding crosses their faces, and they hum collectively. Though they're grown adults, they still aren't very sure how to handle Eunsook when she's on her period.

"Oh, um, okay. Well, I'll make you some blueberry pancakes. Your favorite. How does that sound?" Seokjin asks, and she smiles a bit. Seokjin knows just how to make her feel better.

"It sounds lovely." She says, and he ruffles her hair before returning to his station behind the grill. As soon as he's gone, Eunsook glances to Jungkook. She's surprised to see him still looking skeptical, eyeing her curiously.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" He asks quietly. Eunsook feels bad for lying, but she's not ready to talk about it with them yet. She's hardly managed to admit to herself that she's pursuing the wrong thing, she can't admit it to the two people she cares about the most. She can't handle them being disappointed in her. Scrambling for an answer that will satisfy Jungkook, movement on the CCTV cameras catches her eye. Relief floods her as she sees her way out of this conversation entering the diner.

"Namjoon's here. I've gotta go." She informs both of them. She misses the annoyance flash across Jungkook's face, sharp jaw clenching and eyes rolling.

"Of course. Namjoon's here." He mutters to himself.

"Bitterness looks ugly on you." Seokjin reminds him quietly. Jungkook doesn't respond, continuing to glare at the FBI agent on the CCTV cameras.

"Eunsook, hey." He greets her pleasantly, but Eunsook immediately senses something off with him. There's a smile on his full lips, but it doesn't reach his almond eyes.

"Hi." She replies, eyeing him curiously as he sits down at the counter. She pours his cup of coffee and approaches him, setting it down on the counter in front of him. He curls his long fingers around the handle of the mug, but refuses to meet her eyes. "You okay?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He says, as if noticing his lack of connection to the conversation they would have normally had going by now. He looks up and shoots her that same forced smile. 

"Don't lie." She says, and he raises his eyebrows. 

"I'm not." He assures her, but she doesn't let it go just yet.

"You are. You're smiling, but it looks different. Your dimples aren't there, and your eyes aren't sparkling like they normally do." She informs him matter-of-factly. Namjoon's smile turns genuine then as he chuckles quietly.

"Did you just tell me my eyes sparkle when I smile?" He asks teasingly, and only then does she realize what she said. Cheeks dusted pink, she clears her throat awkwardly.

"That's not the point." Eunsook says. "What's wrong, Namjoon?" His smile fades just as quickly as it appeared. He puts down his mug with a sigh, running a hand through his brown locks.

"We had a case in Boston that didn't go as planned." He says, and it all makes sense to Eunsook. She remembers the conversation she first had with Namjoon about his job. How he said that the successes make the failures worth it. Clearly, though, that doesn't make the failures hurt any less.

"I'm sorry, Joon." She says sincerely, and he sighs.

"It happens, it's okay. I just hate when this happens. Our job is to protect people, but when everything we try doesn't work...it sucks." He explains, and Eunsook gently places her hand atop his on the counter. He looks up at her from the spot on the counter his angry eyes were burning a hole into. They immediately soften in connection with her own.

"You can't save everyone, Namjoon. It's impossible. You can't put that much pressure on yourself." She says softly, and he sighs, biting the inside of his cheek thoughtfully.

"I know it's impossible, but...I still want to." He admits. "Sometimes my supervisor tells me I get too attached to the people in the cases. Maybe that's the problem."

"I don't think getting attached is a bad thing, Joon." Eunsook counters. "I mean, I'm not a professional or anything, but when you're attached to something, it means you care. You care a lot. That's really admirable." 

"You really think so?" He asks. For a moment, the wise man with maturity beyond his years reflects his age. Though Namjoon seems like he has it all figured out, she sees the uncertainty in his eyes that other people have when they're in their early twenties. While her own uncertainty regards her future, Namjoon's is directed towards his self worth.

"I really do. You can't place value on how many people you save, but on how hard you try to save them." She reassures him, and he nods, the words clearly striking a chord within him. "And you try very hard. You do your best, and that's all you can do." Namjoon processes in silence for a moment.

"Go on a date with me." He says suddenly. Eunsook raises her eyebrows, in mild shock. Her heart skips feels like it's running a marathon with how Namjoon makes it skip a beat.

"What?" She blurts out involuntarily out of surprise. Panic flashes across Namjoon's handsome features. His confidence evaporated the second the single syllable left her lips.

"I mean, will you? Will you go on a date with me? Only if you want to, though! No pressure or anything! That was too forward, wasn't it? Damn it, okay, it definitely was. Just, uh, pretend I never said anything--what are you doing?" Namjoon cuts off his own nervous rambling when he sees Eunsook retrieve her pen and begin writing on his hand that she had been holding.

"Giving you my number so you can text me about our date." She says, a mischievous smile on her face. Namjoon gapes at her in pleasant awe.

"So, you'll go?"

"I'd love to." She replies, smiling shyly.

"I'm never washing this hand." He informs her, wiggling his fingers on the hand that holds the ten special digits. Eunsook scoffs and rolls her eyes, but the smile is still prominent.

"That's gross. Please wash your hands." She say, trying to seem unenthused, but Namjoon can see how endeared she is despite her efforts. He picks up his mug and downs the rest of his coffee. Grinning from ear to ear, he puts his mug back on the counter with finality and stands up in victory.

"I will see you on our date." He says, liking how "our date" sounds out loud. "I'd tell you to look pretty, but it's impossible for you to look anything but."

"Shut up and leave already." She says, but Namjoon just laughs at the flustered blush on her cheeks. With one last grin at her, he does.

Eunsook can't wipe the smile off her face for the rest of the night, even when she continues to mess up her calculus homework that she hates. 

HI IT'S BEEN A HOT MINUTE BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

also, i know this is unrelated, but please go to the link in my bio and sign the petition to make George Floyd's murderers suffer the consequences of their actions. black lives matter. the brutal murders of innocent black people at the hands of soulless racist white people has to stop. the institutionalized racism in America has to be changed, and we can only do that if we come together and do something. i'm not black, so i'm not going to pretend to understand how heartbroken black people must feel, but you don't have to be black to support the black lives matter movement.

if you don't support this, please don't read my books. if you're neutral, you side with the oppressor. justice for George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and every other black person who has lost their life, or has known someone who has, or who has to live in fear daily of the system that is supposed to protect them. 

again, the petition is in my bio. if it asks you for a zip code and you don't live in the US, feel free to use: 90015, 10001, or 75001!!!

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