I got to the bar late. It had taken me a while to finish my paperwork..

My buddies had not waited. That was obvious from the boisterous greetings I received as I entered.

I made my way through the crowd to the large round table in the middle of the room. Known as the rookie table, on a regular night, it might have three or four young cops. Tonight, it looked like my entire rookie class was there.

They had come to celebrate my first arrest. Tradition dictated that I buy a round for the table.

With suitable libations ordered and delivered, I start the story.

We took a call at 1:15 while we were code 7 at Benny's. A hit and run had been reported just around the corner at 15th and Delmar. Dispatch told us it was a CvP; Car versus Pedestrian.

When we got there, we found a car on 15th blocking the southbound turn lane. The driver was still innit. He was holding a bloody hanky to his nose and his airbag had deployed.

My TO gave me the nod to proceed so the first thing I do is get his ID and stuff. While he's getting that out, I take a look at his car. It's got a couple of big dings in the hood and the windshield is cracked but there is no damage to either the front or back bumpers.

"We got a report this was a hit and run?" I asked the driver.

"Yeah," he says.

"And a pedestrian was involved?"

Another yeah.

We didn't see any injured pedestrians when we pulled up. So I said to him, "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I'm coming down 15th, I'm heading to the Publix around the corner on Delmar. I get to the corner, about to turn, and this old guy steps off the curb right into the road. I slam on the brakes, my airbag hits me in the face. And the next thing I know he is beatin' on my car with his cane. I yell at him and I start to get out but he starts hitting my windshield."

"I mean, he was crazy. So I just sat in my car and called you guys. He took off when you showed up."

"So that's the hit and run? An old guy swats your car with his cane and takes off?" I ask him.

"Have you seen my hood? Who's gonna pay for that?" He looks at me then his head shifts a bit and he points over my shoulder. "Hey, that's the guy. Right over there."

I turn and see a guy in a ratty brown cloth coat and a floppy hat turn and start to walk north on Delmar. I turn the driver over to my TO and take off after him.

It wasn't much of a chase, He was limping and walked with the aid of a thick wood cane.

"Hey," I tell him. "Stop. I wanna talk to you." He just keeps going. He's an old guy and he don't walk fast.

So I am walking along beside him, trying to get him to stop; trying to get his name; anything. Finally I grab his cane. Then I hear a loud collective 'OHHH' and I realize I got observers. People been watching me trying to get him to stop.

He's standing there, listing to one side, looking pitiful and playing the crowd, but all the time he's watching me.

I ask him why he beat on that car and he says, 'You gonna give me my cane back?" So I handed it to him.

He takes it and swings at my head with it. I deflected the blow but it knocked my hat off. I'm gonna have a pretty good lump.

Just then Sarge pulls up in the cruiser so we gently get him in the back and get out of there.

I spent all the rest of the day doing paperwork onnit. I felt bad for him and I didn't want to jam him up with charges of assaulting an officer, so finally I charged him with Hit and Run.

They didn't have a charge of Hit and Shamble.

It probably won't stick but at least he'll spend the night in jail.

The funny thing is, I think that's what he wanted, all along.