Joe: BOYS AND GIRLS OF EVERY AGE

Doc: No! No!

———

Zed: I have Dark Energy.

Impulse: So does 70% of the universe. You’re not special.

———

Iskall: Hi Iskall

Mumbo: Hi Mumbo

Grian: *cackling*

Ren: So you have accepted it!

———

BDubs: Yes, that is good English

Keralis: Numnets!

———

Stress: S+F<C

Cleo: What?

False: Stress plus False is less than Cleo! Because you ate our brains!

———

Scar: ;)

Cub: NOOOOO

———

Doc (at Grian): Du bist ein short

Mumbo (at Grian): Du bist ein short. Ich bin einen average height.

———

Ren: I will dislocate my patella nutella

Stress: My cartilaginous meat lump is bleeding.

———

Biffa: Put that on the quote note.

X: Don’t worry, I have a lot of quotes about dislocation.

———

Tango: Only one corpse allowed.

Cub: Who?

Tango: Wouldn’t you like to know?

———

Cleo: Don’t betray yourself to the fish!

X: Fish are dead.

Grian: What?

———

Mumbo: Is there a test?

Iskall: Yeah, we were supposed to revise.

Mumbo: Oh.

Iskall: I mean I didn’t...

———

Tango: YOU DIE THE REBELLION DIES YOUR PARENTS DIE YOUR SISTER DIES!

Impulse: Okay.

———

X: One Joe?

Wels: Norse W rune.

———

Doc: So Etho's vibe is...

BDubs: No.

———

Cleo: MY NAME IS SPEEDY GONZALEZ THIS IS MY FATHER PREPARE TO DIE

Joe: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Cleo: SPEEDY GONZALEZ *waves plastic skeleton foot around*

———

Iskall: Do they speak Dutch in Deutschland?

Doc: No, they speak German.

Iskall: Well that’s a bit stupid.

———

Keralis: Why don’t they speak Hollish in Holland?

BDubs: Don’t ask me, I’m clueless.

———

X: Which one of us will get murdered?

*THE RULER OF TRUTH points to her*

Ren: Well! Guess you’ll die!

———

False: No cancer!

Stress: Cancer!

———

Grian: Where’s your school jumper?

Mumbo: Peekaboo

Iskall: Peekaboo, momfricker

———

Cleo: I’m bi.

False: rEALLY

———

Doc: No scheiße, Sherlock.

BDubs: No scheiße.

———

Mumbo: Ok

TFC: Ok Gen Z.

Mumbo: OKAY BOOMER

TFC: You’re not quirky. You’re not cool.

———

Cub: What is this heathen glowing

Scar: Yeah, I hate light

———

Ren: What was that noise?

Doc: Pain and suffering 

Ren: Good. If that had been a happy noise I’d have to euthanise you.

———

Grian: *hic*

Grian: Euthanise me, Mumbo 

Mumbo: No

———

Iskall: My name is Sauron

Ren: Salmon?

Iskall: Sauron

———

Tango: Congratulations. You smell. *Mimes slapping X*

———

Keralis: So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me

*awkward pause*

Keralis: SMS

BDubs: *suffering*

X: TNT

———

Tango: Back in my day...

Zed: OK BOOMER

Impulse: How old are you?

Tango: Older than I look.

———

Cub: O servant! Bring me my shoe!

Joe: Yeets it at you!

———

Doc: adVERB

Iskall: VERB

———

Evil X: I’d like to kill a sheep, but not see its heart

Biffa: Mood.

———

Joe: The FitnessGram Pacer Test-

Cleo: NO!

———

Joe: cleo cleas cleat cleamus cleatis cleant 

Cleo: clebam clebas clebat clebamus clebatis clebant

———

Scar: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight

Cub: Meow meow meow

———

Scar: I’m an Australian superhero, who can pretend to be in the mafia- wait that’s Russian.

Cub: Oh no, a communist.

Scar: And now I’m Italian.

———

Stress: But you slice cheese to put it on a sandwich!

Wels: No!

Tango: No!

Keralis: No!

Ren: Yes! Sliced cheese gang!

*Stress and Ren high-five*

———

Cleo: I am a zombie, zombie, zombie

False: Oh no, she’s rapping now

Cleo: Bist du eine zombie, zombie, zombie

False: Oh no, she’s turned into a German 

———

Doc: Mein Lieblingszeite ist sechsundneunzig

Scar: Just... go away.

———

Jevin: Trois

Python: Quatre

Jevin: Deux

Python: Un

Python: Wait

Jevin: Huit

———

Biffa: You use the elbow as a lever to twist the shoulder.

Wels: And the wheels on the bus go

Biffa, Wels and Jevin: Round and round

———

Cub: It’s moolah.

*Pause*

Grian: Go die in a hole

———

Jevin: I like food

Python: Yeah, I like food

Biffa: So do I

———

Iskall: That’s what I said

Ren: That’s what she said

Doc: *Starts humming X-files theme*

———

Wels: who’s going to heaven .. Biffa?!

Jevin: but he’s the murderer ...

———

Iskall: Ja, Bier.

Keralis:

Keralis: WAS!?

———

Tango: How do you agree with that?

Cub: Same.

Tango: Are you okay?

Cub: Same

———

Scar: Play me a lullaby! Let me get into the sleeping position.

Scar: *back planks on the floor*

Doc: *Strums twice*

Doc: SCREW you!

———

Jevin: probē

Python: Aren’t we all

———

Joe: Howdy 

Cleo: You smell like beef.

———

X: Wrong note.

Evil X: You’re on the wrong quote note, you giddy goat

———

Grian: Sand?

Mumbo: Paper.

Grian: sAND?

Mumbo: paper.

Grian (you know the voice): sAND?

Mumbo: ppr 

———

Iskall: Atorta. A tortoise.

Ren: Yes.

Iskall: Yes.

———

Tango: Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow

Impulse: Go on.

Tango: Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow

Impulse: *bops*

———

Biffa: I will ASMR you.

X: I like my throat!

———

Python: May I please breakfast?

Jevin: It’s a bit crunchy.

———

Grian: Ich habe eine Schlange

Iskall: Du BIST eine Schlange

Grian: Das ist in Österreich

———

Ren: What’s the date?

Doc: XIX XI MMXIX XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIMM

———

Cub: When there’s something strange

Scar: In the neighbourhood 

Cub: Who ya gonna call?

Scar: GOAT BUSTERS

———

Mumbo: How do you say those syllables?

Grian: Phe-no-me-non

———

Etho: Where’s Beef?

BDubs: Phenomenon

Doc and BDubs: Do-do-do-do-do

———

Iskall: Talk to the hand ‘cause the face ain’t listening.

Mumbo: Hi hand.

———

Python: How many people did I kill?

X: Four! The most!

Python: Well, someone’s gotta make a living somehow.

———

Jevin: Python keeps winning because his name sounds like a pokémon.

Wels: Damn you *dives under the table*

———

Stress: Red yellow green blue

False: Hunger games

Stress: Red yellow green blue Red yellow green blue.

———

X: Yay! Abdominal pain!

Biffa: Yay!

———

Scar: So like... 

Cub: Noot noot

Scar: Noot noot 

———

Zed: Ain’t nothing but a heartache.

Impulse: I wanna cry!

(Pause)

Zed: Ain’t nothing but a mistake

———

Ren: Rawr XD

Iskall (To the tune of Ra-ra Rasputin): Ra-Ra-Rawr XD OwO uwu emoji

Ren: Well, I mean...

Iskall: That’s how our parents think we talk.

What? Wednesday upload? Impossible.
But yeah, instead of Wednesdays always being empty, I'll publish low-effort chapters on them.
Autocorrect, signing off from the past!