Jeff charged out of the office with a battle cry, wielding a knife. Bonnie was in the hall waiting for him. Jeff stabbed his knife into the bunny animatronic's eye and was promptly electrocuted by the strong current. His black hair stood on end, spiky, smoking. He promptly collapsed.

Bonnie grabbed ahold of his leg and started dragging him away to the backstage.

Dark Link charged at the bunny animatronic with his sword swinging. He slashed into the Bonnie's chest. Electricity surged up his sword, zapping harmlessly into him; he was a video game creepypasta, making him immune to electrocution. Bonnie's rusty joints creaked as he moved back. Dark Link stepped forward and slashed across his face, taking off both eyes and revealing the robotic red lights underneath.

"Back!" he roared, "Back with you, or I'll send you straight to hell!"

Jeff wiggled free from the bunny's arm and crawled across the checked floor to retrieve his knife, spiky hair on fire like birthday candles.

Smiley lightly darted around him and jumped onto Bonnie's back, hands safely gloved, scalpel in hand. "Let me help you," he said, and plunged the sharp scalpel into his neck, sawing through every wire he encountered with surgical precision and swiftness.

Bonnie started glitching out violently, rattling and shaking, making a horrible electrical buzz. Smoke poured from his mouth. Smiley didn't stop cutting wires until he hit the metal endoskeleton underneath. He dropped off his back and gave the bunny a solid kick up the behind for good measure, and Bonnie tumbled over onto the floor, head popping off and rolling next to Jeff, who freaked out and stabbed again, electrocuting himself, again. He fainted.

Foxy came sprinting down the west hall. There was no time for them to react; the fox was fast.

Smirky was just a little faster.

He swung a baseball bat at Foxy with so much force his feet left the ground.

WHAM!

Exposed metal and ragged red fur jerked, sparking slightly. Smirky swung the bat again, handling it with just as much force and brutal strength as he did with a scythe.

WHAM! Springs and little electronic components littered the floor, and Foxy went still.

WHAM! The fox toppled over like the bunny.

Panting, Smirky smirked down at the twitching metal husk in victory.

"Where did you get that bat?" Dark Link asked.

"I found it in the office," Smirky responded. "Hidden behind the desk by the last night guard, I expect. I was waiting for my chance to use it. It's allowed. It's not sharp or pointy."

"You... saved my life," Smiley said distantly.

Smirky glanced at him. "You? No. I was planning to use it on you. I saved Darkness in spite of you. I like him, you see. I find him tolerable."

"I'm... flattered," Dark Link said, "I think."

Sally came walking down the hall, still holding the cupcake. She was taking it with her; they had bonded a great deal over the past six hours. "It's way past my bedtime," she said conversationally.

"It certainly is," Smirky agreed, taking her hand. They walked away, stepping on Foxy, Smirky still holding the bat in his other hand. Smiley didn't dare follow until he was out of swinging distance.

Dark Link stooped down next to Jeff and, with a grunt of effort, scooped him up, slinging him over his shoulder like a heavy sack of potatoes. Except not. Because it was Jeff. He carried him out like that, and Jeff didn't stir once.

*

Slenderman's tentacles writhed like animals desperate to be let loose. As soon as the right door opened Freddy was there. The tentacles shot towards the bear and shoved him to the opposite side of the hall, giving Toby enough time to sneak out with BEN. L.J followed, pestering BEN to share his bag of Doritos. BEN rebuffed all attempts at negotiation.

Chica was suddenly in their faces, a terrible noise issuing from her toothy beak. L.J's claws ripped through the dark and found purchase in yellow faux-feathers, easily ripping through to the metal endoskeleton underneath. He ripped into her and Toby buried his hatchet in her head. Freddy was coming up behind them. Slenderman's tentacles whipped wildly towards the bear, but BEN reached him first, giving him a poke in the belly. His finger went through and he glitched into the animatronic.

"Woah," Freddy said in a distorted voice, lifting his paws to examine them, flexing the fingers, "I'm huge! This is so cool!"

Chica lunged at Toby, the hatchet still buried in her head. L.J ducked aside. BEN in the body of Freddy charged at her and punched her in the face, destroying her face plate, revealing the inner workings. BEN pummelled Chica for a minute, the glitched out of the machine. Freddy didn't take the double-possession well and shut off. Chica was like a toppled-over wind-up toy, unable to do harm, glitching and sparking.

"Let's bust outta here, kiddo," L.J suggested wisely. "Before somebody sues us."

"Ah- Ah- Agreed," Toby said, bending low and bracing one foot on Chica's head to pull out his hatchet. It slid out with hissing sparks and a thin plume of smoke, veiling the hall.

"Best birthday ever!" BEN declared, doing a hop, jump, and skip.

*

Smirky let go of Sally's hand once they reached the dining room. He held the bat with purpose, gaze fixed on the locked doors.

He ran at it and swung.

The first hit rattled the doors, hard. The second blow sent the cheap handles spinning over the floor. Encouraged, Smirky delivered an intense barrage, wood splintering and locks clanging, and then, finally, the doors burst open into the dawning sky of a beautiful morning, the clouds hazy and dreamlike.

The bat fell to the ground, splintered in two. One of the doors was hanging off, one hinge broken. The floor was covered in bits of debris and splinters.

Dark Link breathed in deeply. "Fresh air," he said, "at last."

Sally ran past both of them, her hair streaming behind her in brown ribbons. "Last one to the car's a rotten egg!" she shrieked, scampering out with the cupcake, out into the dawn of a beautiful morning and across the marked asphalt of the parking lot, towards their rented van, the only vehicle in sight.

"Right behind you!" Smirky called out, and broke into a run.

"Hey, don't leave us here!" Smiley took chase, and Dark Link swiftly followed, pausing only to look back once at the pizzeria.

"Do you think the others got out all right?" he wondered.

His question answered itself when Slenderman appeared in the broken-down doorway, Toby at his side, BEN and L.J close behind, squabbling over the bag of Doritos. Dark Link waved to them. Toby waved back.

"Come on, just one chip!" L.J whined.

"No! My yum-yums!" BEN replied stubbornly, hugging his Doritos.

"Let us hope Zalgo has not tried anything funny in my absence," Slenderman muttered, stepping up into the driver's side. L.J and BEN stopped squabbling long enough for L.J to give BEN a boost up to the other side, then climbed in from the side door.

"Come on, come on!" he said impatiently, waving a hand in circles. "I'm going through sugar withdrawal symptoms here!"

"Slendy?" Sally asked innocently as the doors were slid firmly shut, and Slenderman started up the engine.

"Yes, child?" he replied.

Her jade eyes sparkled in the sleepy morning light. "Can we come back here for my birthday?"

Slenderman floored the accelerator.