When He Cooks

(yasbro123 gets another cookie, so here it is! (.:::.) Enjoy all the chaotic destruction!)

Jeff The Cooker

Jeff snuck in through the kitchen window on a lovely, sunny day. You were upstairs, messing around with your new laptop while fighting off a killer migraine.

D/N sniffed out his presence and came loyally trotting into the kitchen, wagging his/her tail as a sign of friendliness.

The psychotic killer kneeled down and gave the nutty pooch a pat on the head.

"Hey, D/N! You wanna help me cook Y/N a surprise breakfast?"

Almost at once, the dog's ears drooped along with his/her face and tail. A tiny whimper emerged from his/her throat.

"Don't look so scared; I won't play with lighters this time!"

Jeff stood up and made his way to the fridge for some milk and butter. D/N jumped onto the countertop and tried to dial 911 with his/her slippery nose.

Soon, Jeff set down a whole armful of ingredients along with a mixing bowl. He noticed the frantic dog trying to contact the fire department.

"Pssst. Give me a break! I think I can manage to make pancakes without blazing the house to the ground!"

OFFICIAL FIRE DEPARTMENT REPORT: BOYFRIEND ATTEMPTED TO FLIP A HOT PANCAKE AND DROPPED IT ON HIS FOOT. PROCEEDED TO LIGHT THE PANCAKE ON FIRE WITH A LIGHTER AND FLUNG IT AT A "BLONDE MIDGET," WHO PROMPTLY PANICKED AND  SPREAD THE FLAMES FURTHER, BLAZING MS. Y/N'S HOUSE TO THE GROUND.

BEN Drowned... In debris?
(BEN won't cook in this one... Because we need everyone alive for future scenarios.)

You looked out of your window and saw the charred remains of your friend's house. Of course, you grabbed your bag and ran out to see if BEN had died, since he had been trying to steal her television at the time.

F/N was standing by the pavement in her pajamas with a laptop tucked under her arm. She looked royally ticked off.

Curiously enough, her boyfriend was nowhere in sight. But D/N was, digging through the debris with eager frenzy.

You decided it would be best not to say anything to F/N, so you carefully tiptoed around her and stepped over a charred heap of bricks,

D/N looked up when he/she smelt you. The crazy pooch's muzzle was streaked with ash and soot; moist nose covered in fine gray powder.

With a rumbling bark, he/she turned back and tossed up the debris like nobody's business. Pretty soon, a little elf was uncovered.

You clapped a hand over your mouth to stifle a gasp. Of laughter.

BEN, completely covered in black soot, blinked rapidly with confused eyes. Then he started throwing a hissy fit because D/N was slobbering on his tunic.

Or at least, what was left of it.

"Lemme down! I've gotta find Jeff and give him a piece of my brain!"

"Don't you mean mind?" You chuckled, trying not to snort.

"... It- It's complicated, alright Y/N? Put me down, you big fat ball of slobber!"

Well, D/N didn't like being called names. So he/she positioned himself/herself in front of the dug hole, lowered the elf back down, turned around and started burying him all over again.

Dark Link~

Humming softly to himself, Dark Link poured a neat pile of flour into a mixing bowl. Then he rolled up the paper bag's top and put it back up in the ingredient cupboard.

The kitchen was beautifully spick and span. In fact, if it wasn't for Darkness' animated presence, it would've looked like a drawing.

You sleepily came downstairs in a bathrobe, fresh out of the shower and craving a cup of coffee. Your hair was bundled up in a silky towel, making it look like an outlandish Victorian hairdo.

"Morning, Darkie... Where's the caffeine?"

"Oh, good morning angel. Your coffee's on the counter; I kept it lukewarm for you."

"Thanks."

You picked up the mug and lifted it to take a sip.

Then the ghostly head of Pussy- I mean- C/N popped up, cackling like madcat.

With a scream, you jumped backwards. The coffee went flying all over Dark Link, who yelped and knocked over the bowl of flour.

C/N cackled again, then flew out completely and went through a wall to practice his Halloween "trick" on some other poor sod.

You and Dark Link exchanged looks. One was covered from head-to-toe in flour, the other was dripping with coffee.

"I call first on the shower!"

"No way! I call first!"

You two ran up the stairs, playfully pushing each other all the way. In the end, you took a shower together. The both of you were too preoccupied with getting clean however, so nothing "happened."

... Or did it? ;)

Laughing Clownfish

"Hey, Y/N! Did ya hear about F/N'S house burning down? Apparently, Jeff was trying to make pancakes!"

"Wha- Oh, yeah. Terrible stuff. BEN almost drowned in the debris or something."

"So... Can I cook a gingerbread house in your kitchen?"

"Hell no!"

An Unspecifed Time, At The Reunion...
(Based off the clever narration by @nutella_neko. Thanks for letting me use it, pal! XD)

Before Evelyn could finish her barrage of complaints, the hall's main doors swung open and out strode a woman of considerable plumpness.

She wore an exquisite black dress that showed many more wrinkles than anyone wanted to see. It shimmered under the fancy lights, apparently studded with thousands of tiny diamonds.

"Oh Evelyn, darling! It's so nice to see you again - and you've brought along your boyfriend! A doctor, is he? How marvellous!"

Smiley leaned closer to Smirky.

"She seems nice enough..."

"Don't get so flattered," the not-so-good dentist replied, scrunching up his nose. The sheer amount of perfume wafting off that woman is suffocating...

Then Evelyn's mother stepped towards Smirky and gave him a big hug. For a moment, it looked like the woman of considerable size was trying to suffocate him.

"Oh, he's such a darling boy! What was your name? Simon, was it?"

"U-Um..."

Evelyn sheepishly cleared her throat, trying to get her mother's attention while Smiley fell back to the side and tried not to laugh.

"Er... That's his twin brother. This is Smiley over here."

Her mother let go of Smirky - who scooted back while coughing - and advanced towards Smiley. The not-so-good doctor tactfully ducked out of her grasp.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs.... Mrs..."

"Oh just call me Honeysuckle!"

"Mrs... Honeysuckle..." Smiley glanced confusedly at Evelyn, who shrugged her shoulders and made a cuckoo gesture.

Smirky picked up the mysterious box from the ground (he'd dropped it after getting sprang at). Then he watched Smiley try to avoid getting hugged with glee.

In the end, Mrs. Honeysuckle grabbed both the twins by their ties and pulled them towards the hall door. Evelyn trailed after her, wondering what the hell her mother was up to.

______________________________________________________
A/N: Renember how Smiley has that thing about his looks instantly charming those "patients?" And how Smirky's his identical twin? Well... They're in for it now.

I'm so sorry I haven't been updating! You guys are awesome for being so patient with me! Our dog is much better now - but we're dealing with a bit of personal problems.

Thank you for enduring my turmoil - and for reading these scenarios! It's raining really hard outside and we've gotta go out now so... Wish me luck to make it through!

Toodles!

~ TheNightPhantom

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