[Hugs and apple juice for all of you! Please scroll back to part one of this special, if you haven't read it yet. I'm so happy a month's of work has been read by you! Psst! Smirky snogged someone!]

P a r t T h r e e (scroll back twice for part one!)

"Don't go in there!" Yvion begged. "He's crazy!"

"We're all crazy here," Smiley assured her gently, double checking that his syringe was holding the antidote. "It won't take but a minute."

He faced the bathroom door.

Through the ajar crack, he set his sights on L.J. The monochome clown was visibly growing bored of BEN's antics.

BEN had adapted to the temperature (an extreme creepypasta ability - do not attempt at home), and was now taking a long soak in the sink.

His brain still wasn't working right, you see. Either that, or his crippling fear of water wasn't quite as extreme as made out to be.

Smiley crouched in the doorway, mentally counting down the seconds before he was due to carry out his surprise attack.

"I hope you die," Smirky wished cheerfully, ruffling his hair as he walked past with an empty vial in hand

"If you die, can I sell your stuff?" Jeffykins asked, poking his bottom. The crazy killer was now a preteen, aging with speedy grace.

("No!" exclaimed Smiley in response).

"If you die after all this, I'll kill you." Evelyn deadpanned.

Shaking his head earnestly, Smiley rolled his eyes to the ceiling and mumbled something about how none of them had any faith in him.

From the corner of his eye, he spied Sally tugging on the back of Zalgo's billowing black cloak; the demon curiously turning his head to regard her with reptilian eyes.

"Yes, little one?"

"Psst! Is Doctor Smiley gonna die?" whispered she.

"... All signs point to yes," the prince of ducknut answered in a casual drawl, glancing up dubiously.

Smiley diverted his eyes elsewhere. An indignant huff left his lips, and then he slowly made his move, breezing through the bathroom door.

With a thumb placed carefully on the syringe's release plunger, he crept calmly behind L.J.

The monochome clown's gaze darted to the corner of his eye, then back towards the scene of the bathing nude midget.

BEN, in all his brain-scrambled glory, reached for the wall-mounted soap holder and grabbed its contents.

In a sloosh of water, he lifted one leg over the sink and started scrubbing away at his foot, loudly singing the Smurf song, his privates obscured by steam.

Smiley turned away aghast, clapping a hand over his eyes in silent horror.

After a few passing seconds, in reluctant jerky-like movements, he forced himself to look again.

It was just as bad the second time around, if not worse.

The not-so-good doctor gathered up his remaining dignity and threw it out of an imaginary window.

Calm down; at least there's no wrecking balls involved. This time.

Knowing how lucky it was that the creepypasta mansion wasn't situated near a construction site, filled him with fresh determination.

Nothing to lose here!

Raising the syringe, Smiley dove for L.J's neck.

Laughing Jack howled with laughter, ducking out of his friend's reach. The not-so-good doctor lost his footing, slipped on the wet floor, and fell flat on his stomach with a yelp.

"Ha!" the monochome clown wiped away a fake tear. "That was hilarious! Quick! Do it again!"

Smiley grit his teeth and struggled back to his feet, tightening his grip on the syringe. Its glass almost cracked under such pressure.

"L.J..."

L.J's arms dropped loosely to his side, claws looking particularly sharp and potent. His expression turned cold. "What?"

All of a sudden, Smiley moved with blinding, shocking speed; he took the clown by suprise, standing in front of him in a heartbeat..

"You. Are. An. Idiot," he stated simply.

The needle was already sliding out, its glass barrel emptied to the last drop.

A collective gasp emerged from behind them; practically everyone in the surgery had somehow poked their heads around the door, presumably to watch the show.

"... I wanted money to buy a katana," Jeff's voice trailed off sadly.

"Oh well. There's always next time." (That optimistic quip was undoubtably said by Smirky.)

L.J dropped to the floor like a stone, looking dizzy, mumbling incomprehensibly.

"Are you having a bad reaction to the antidote?" asked an amused Zalgo.

"Candy...?"

Smiley, who'd stooped down to check the killer clown's pulse, sighed.

"No. He's absolutely fine."

At that exact moment, BEN came back to his senses, halfway through a lengthy session of scrubbing between his toes.

... It was a loud wake up call.

"AAAAH!"

He jumped to his (squeaky clean) feet, clumsily sloshing water over the edge of the sink. And used the soap bar to try and cover his 'assets.'

The little elf thought they were all looking at him, you see.

"DON'T JUDGE ME!"

With that, he hopped out the tub and scampered away, his wet feet going pitter patter on the tiles, soggy green hat flopping lopsidedly.

We'd like to say that he was too ashamed to show his face for the rest of the evening, but then we'd be lying.

~*~*~*~

After the excitement had died down, the semi-conscious Laughing Jack was towed downstairs and propped up on the couch. His girlfriend placed a bowl of gummy bears next to him, hoping to entice him back into the land of the living.

He ate them. Listlessly.

"What went wrong?" Yvion despaired, sinking into the armchair opposite him.

"A lot of things. The unwise decision of an angel to craft him into being, for example," remarked Zalgo, passing by on his way to the kitchen.

"You know what I mean! Why did the antidote do this to him? Everyone else is okay!"

"Okay? Speak for yourself!" Dark Link moaned. Nothing had changed for him.

Zalgo waved them both off indifferently, the sleek sleeve of his cloak swishing.

"You can't expect an unstable mix to work the same every time. It all depends on the virus, and plain luck, really."

"Do you realize how painful it's going to be to explain this to Slenderman?" Dark Link screetched, motioning to his chest.

The prince of darkness shrugged his shoulders offhandedly.

Suddenly, someone barrelled into him from behind.

"IMPOSTER!"

Hands clawing at his face, Zalgo stumbled forwards, tossing his head in blind confusion. He couldn't seem to make up his mind whether to fight back or flee.

As the demon whipped around, his attacker became clear; it was Smirky.

"You sound nothing like Lord Zalgo! I can tell; it's a controlled, fake voice! And he never wears his cloak unless he wishes to conceal something; so you-!"

Zalgo flared his wings.

The illusionist (still a little weak from- well- being stabbed), was thrown off his master's back and crashed into Dark Link, pulling the clasp of the cloak along with him.

Dark fabric billowed, flittering behind and pooling at the floor like a rippling waterfall of black.

Boing!

When the two awkwardly untangled themselves and looked up, they got the surprise of their lives.

Everyone was shocked into speechlessness.

Hands were clapped over mouths.

Even L.J snapped out of his trance, eyes bulging.

BEN, who was passing by, did a double take and wolf whistled.

Face burning up with a strong blush, Zalgo subconsciously crossed her arms over her anime girl-esque chest, and cast her gaze to the floor, voice changing to a higher pitch.

"The genderbending virus was in the wine. I- I wanted to test the antidote before using it on myself. There. Happy?"

He glared at Smirky, who shrank back, rubbing the nape of his neck in embarrassment.

"F-F-Forgive- M-My Lord- I was so sure- I didn't- such a predicament..."

"In the future, you'll be less rash. In the present, you'll obediently trot out of my sight and attend to business of writing a will. Understood?"

"U-Understood!"

After giving a shaky bow, Smirky practically ran from the room. However, no amount of distance could stop his shrieking laughter from being heard the moment he stepped foot upstairs.

(And he didn't stop laughing until his voice cracked. Smiley offered him a glass of water, which he readily accepted and drank without a second thought.)

BEN stood rooted to the spot, staring at Zalgo through wide eyes.

"... I'm so confused right now," he breathed.

Then he noticed Dark Link.

"Doritoette! I'm sorry; it's not me, it's you! We just can't be together - I already have the love of my life!"

With that, he waddled off. Oh, don't worry, Trendy soon grabbed him like a doll off the shelf and made sure he was clothed stylishly. Because let's not forget; he was still naked.

Offendy was nowhere in sight.

On a completely unrelated note, Dark Link's sword was missing from its sheath.

~*~*~*~

I still don't understand why we've gotta sit out here and set up fireworks..." E.J grumbled, unsuccessfully trying to pry open a crate with a stick.

"Me neither. But - Slenderp's orders," Jane shrugged, slitting the box open in a single swoop of her knife. "Sonic.exe's having the time of his life."

They both turned their eyes on the blue hedgehog, who was eagerly fussing over a gigantic firework, stars for eyes.

~*~*~*~

Contrary to Dark Link's deep-rooted concerns about being made laughing stock of the mansion, Slenderman hardly noticed any difference.

"Why is the house so silent? All of you! We must be at the forest - the damsel is waiting! The night is young; a dinner in the woods awaits!"

"Why do you care so much?" challenged Zalgo.

The prince (or, for the time being, princess) of darkness, had donned his all-concealing cloak once more. He made his voice sound as it normally did. Really, you'd never know there was something so wrong.

Slenderman clasped his slender hands together, surrounded by little heart bubbles (not completely unlike Yandree).

He spoke passionately.

"A forbidden romance between an ordinary girl and a bloodthirsty creature of darkness! We must do what we can to help! We must!"

"He's still high over the Twilight saga!" BEN yelled, peddling past on the tricycle.

Yes. The little elf had brought it into the house. Nobody bothered to stop him. Nobody questioned it either.

Evelyn may have been waiting outside (presumably spending time by learning how to play the violin from Toby), but Smiley was getting a little delayed...

"I gave you my sincerest word, dearest brother~!"

"Can't this wait? I don't feel-"

Deadpan. "No."

Smiley was oddly eager to get punched in the face. Smirky was oddly reluctant to do so.

"Go on. Do your worst~!" the not-so-good doctor sang, a devious smirk hidden behind his mask.

The illusionist groaned and made a drowsy move. His hit connected, but it was so weak that it barely produced a tap.

"You... You cheater...! You drugged my water, didn't you?"

The not-so-good doctor chuckled. From behind his back, he withdrew and shook a bottle of sleeping pills.

"I said I'd let you punch me in the face. But I didn't specify how hard."

Swaying on his feet, Smirky planted a hand on the surgery table for balance, shutting his eyes. He seemed full of disbelief.

That Smiley had planned to do it, had done it, that he'd fallen for it.

And then his brother did something that... well, he really shouldn't have.

"I can't believe you didn't notice it at the bottom of the glass. Isn't third time supposed to be the charm?" Smiley scoffed.

Some kind of devil in the details of his words, struck a nerve.

A bad nerve.

Smirky's eyes flew wide open. The black rings were long gone - but a fearsome spark flew across them, his face contorted with fury.

He whipped around and seized a cringing Smiley by the front of his shirt, drawing the other hand back...

THWHACK!

Smiley saw stars.

Something trickled down to his mouth; he felt a metallic sting on his lips. He reached up to dab it with a finger, and saw red.

"... Good shot."

Smirky drowsily fell to his knees, then collapsed the floor. Had he spent the last of his energy wisely? To him, the answer would be nothing short of yes.

On the other hand, Smiley had a bit of a dilemma. He couldn't attend a date with a bleeding nose and a split lip, now, could he?

~*~*~*~

... That answer also turned out to be nothing short of yes.

"My gosh! What happened to you?" gasped Evelyn.

"Smirky." He needed not say more.

"Do I need to get out the frying pan again?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I, um, asked for it." Smiley retrieved a fresh tissue from his pocket and cleaned his lip some more.

Looking unconvinced, Evelyn stuffed the large dented pan back into her handbag. It clanged against a can of mace.

"Right. So... shall we, then?"

Slenderman, who was spying on them from behind a conveniently-shaped lamp, made some kind of tentacle gesture that was quickly picked up by Toby.

The waffle-loving creepypasta sprang out of the bushes, wearing a cherry-coloured dress bow around his neck, and sleeve cuffs.

He bowed deeply, shoulder making a random jerky movement. "A-A-Allow m-me t-to e-escort y-you t-t-to y-y-your t-t-table!"

Smiley and Evelyn exchanged amused looks. Hand-in-hand, they followed Toby into a clearing.

The night was pristine, skies clear and cool as crystal. Scattered stars twinkled. The moon was a luminous pale globe

Down below, ancient branches rustled in nighttime's stealthy breezes. Towering silhouettes of trees, brought alive and whispering.

In the clearing, a small circular table had been set for two. The loose rolls of its silky tablecloth swayed in the wind, as did the lush grass beneath it.

And then there was Jeff.

A fully resorted to his normal age Jeffy boy.

He was hastily patting down the aforementioned tablecloth, which was on fire. Thin tendrils of smoke escaped between his fingers.

Interestingly, he held his favourite lighter in the other hand, and it was lit.

Bringing a hand below his mouth, Smiley cleared his throat. Loudly.

Jeff jumped like a child caught stealing from a cookie jar.

The crazy killer chuckled nervously and deftly swiped his lighter across the table to set some candles aflame.

"Have- Have a nice dinner!"

Then he sprinted off the scene, ducking his head as he barrelled into the dark forestry terrain, swallowed by shadows.

Masky strode proudly into the clearing and set down a rather enormous plate (tactfully covering up the unsightly burn caused by Jeff).

It hosted an equally enormous cheesecake, with a scribble of chocolate syrup on top. A rich creamy aroma overpowered the subtle fragrance of burnt cloth.

"BEN ran off with the dinner, so enjoy dessert instead!" Masky explained cheerfully.

"No complaints here!" Evelyn exclaimed, licking her lips while eying up the cheesecake.

Even Smiley, who wasn't all that fond of high-calorie treats, found himself admiring the heavenly confection, longing to take a bite.

The two lovebirds sat down on straight-backed chairs, and wasted no time in dividing the giant multi-layered cake responsibly.

In half.

To give a short and sweet summary; the cheesecake had an indescribable texture and taste. Somewhere in the heavens, angels sung and doves flew.

From behind the conveniently shaped lamp (which had conveniently moved of its own accord), Slenderman swooned. "True love's kiss! They'll have true love's kiss after the cheesecake!"

"For goodness sakes, brother - I'm the one who ought to be excited about this!" Trendy exclaimed, poking his head out of a nearby bush.

The faceless creepypasta didn't look at him. But he did deadpan, unimpressed. "You have a spider on your face."

With a high-pitched shriek that sent roosting birds falling off their nests, Trendy teleported away in a panic.

("These spooky forests are unkept most unfashionably!" he complained).

The ghost of C/N flew overhead, peddling on the tricycle, which could now fly for some... reason.

Under the moonlight, after the cheesecake was all gone, Evelyn leaned over the table and gave Smiley a little kiss. "Thank you."

"F-For?"

"For giving me the craziest day of my life."

"Y-Y-You're welcome!" The pink-faced, not-so-good doctor stuttered, his tongue tied in knots.

From somewhere in the nearby area, someone coughed the word "hopeless...".

All of a sudden, E.J and Jane came running.

"Hurry up!" They shouted in excited unison. "Back to the mansion - or you'll miss it!"

"Miss what?" asked Evelyn in alarm, getting up quickly.

"FIREWORKS!" Sonic.exe cackled, scooting past the scene with the leftover cheesecake in hand.

All four - six, counting Slenderman and Sonic.exe - of them went running like the forest floor was turning to lava.

Smiley had to crank down in the speed department, though.

Up the mansion's front garden, and into the mysterious building itself they went.

A lot of the other pastas were gathered by the lounge window. It had a brilliant, wide view of the sky, perfect for firework watching.

Sally didn't care much for all the fuss, though. She'd turned on the television to scout the news. It blared softly in the background.

Zalgo, Trendy, BEN, and Dark Link were all absent. Presumably, they were the ones who'd be setting off the promised display.

(Sadly, all the Y/Ns had gone home for the night, proclaiming that t'was enough action for one day. Maybe it was for the best.

Yulynn never did, and never would, find out who Doritoette was. Darkness would make certain of that).

The first of the fireworks began. It was a spectacular display; a ringing whoosh, and a massive explosion of blood red sparks in the sky, falling into a heart shape.

Cue a collective murmur of oohs and aahs.

Fheeeew! Fheeeew! Fheeeew! More fireworks; these ones made shapes suspiciously like a knife, BEN's face, and Operator symbol respectively.

Sonic.exe sweatdropped. I don't remember setting up that middle one...

L.J was sprawled out on the couch, slurping down gummy bears and vanilla ice cream, trying to rid his mouth of the liquorice taste.

Smirky rested on the armchair, dozing off every now and so often, only to be awoken moments later by the noise outside.

And when the T.V started broadcasting a breaking news report, he heard something that caught his attention and made him sit up straighter.

"In other news, the Queen of Hearts killer was discovered hours ago; dead!"

"WHAT? NO WAY!" Sally yelped.

Seconds later, she had her nose to the screen. L.J opened one eye and sighed in relief. No more long hours of getting talked to death.

"In Nowheresville earlier this evening, police discovered the body of a young woman, alleged to be the wanted serial killer. This woman, named-"

Sally screamed in frustrated disappointment, stamping her foot to the ground. As a result, nobody heard the resident's name.

"-police say the cause of death was a fatal stab to back, and that an anonymous caller tipped them off, using the landline. Belongings of all the Queen's victims were later found in the house."

More fireworks went off in the background, lights faintly reflected on the T.V screen.

"Additionally, the police were viciously attacked by a pack of chihuahuas upon entry. The dogs have been sent to a humane shelter to be rehomed."

The reporter was rushing through her lines, seemingly eager to reach the last segment of the report.

"But the real mystery is; who killed her? Fresh blood was found in a separate room, DNA tests inconclusive. Now - a picture from the scene!"

Then she stood up and walked right off the set, yelling for some guy called Mark to get her a cup of coffee.

The screen abruptly switched to photo. It was a single shot, taken from a side.

An incredibly beautiful woman lay on a couch, arranged to look as though she was sleeping. Her form was draped over by a bizarre patchwork quilt of some kind,

"The rag is confirmed to be made of tatters of her victim's clothes," a voiceover interjected gleefully.

She looked as if she'd open her eyes at any moment. A mysterious smile stayed frozen on her lips, a dry trickle of blood spilt from the corner.

As the picture's focus scrolled up, a curious thing came into sight.

Behind her - a heart had been drawn on the wall in brilliant vermillion.

"The blood is unidentifiable - it did not come from her! Really, a most interesting change from the usual broken hearts left at her scenes! Does it mean something, we wonder?"

This was the last thing any of them saw of the report, for Sally punched a gaping hole right through the screen in rage.

"I WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO CATCH HER!" She wailed.

"There, there, kiddo. We'll stick the blame for this broken T.V on BEN," mumbled L.J, pulling her away by the back of her nightie as golden-yellow sparks fizzed.

"WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT - I'M GONNA KICK THEM IN THE NUTELLA, KILL THEM, GUT 'EM, AND USE THEIR ENTRAILS FOR SMILEY DOG'S NEXT BIRTHDAY CAKE!"

Cringing, Smirky folded his hands over his lap, shuddered, and sank low, low, low into the plush velvety armchair.

L.J lifted Sally onto his lap and gave her an enveloping hug, to comfort her, and to partially muffle the little girl's earsplitting tantrum screaming.

Fheeeeeew!
Fheeeeeew!
Fheeeeeeew!

FWOOOSH!!!

Somebody screamed and went ducking for cover. Fiery lights flashed in front of the window like multiple strikes of lightning.

WHO SET A CATHERINE WHEEL OFF IN THE GARDEN WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?" Slenderman boomed.

Toby raised his pinky. "I have no idea!"

"Then why did you raise your pinky?" Jeff hissed, cowering with hands over head. He hated the noise.

"I have no idea!" Toby repeated proudly.

Fheeeeeeeew!
Pop! Pop! Fizzle! Pop! Bang!

Like an electronic device out of charge, Sally simply turned off and nodded off to sleep in L.J's arms. It was well past her bedtime anyway.

The monochrome clown leaned back and yawned, letting her rest her head on his feathery shoulder.

"Oh, I almost forgot to ask..."

L.J turned his head, addressing Smirky with a sly look on his face.

"How did your blind date go? Did you like her~?"

The illusionist was careful to avoid eye-contact. Instead, he put on a poker face and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Maybe a little."

"Ooh la la~ Do I see a second date in the near future?" teased a gleeful-looking clown.

"If you're seeing things, you need a psychiatrist."

"Aww. Is that a no then? Why not?"

"Because she was too sweet; sweet as honey and chocolate."

"Whaddia mean? Too affectionate and clingy?"

"Sort of. I can't stand sugar."

The En-
HOLD IT!

Outside, in the faraway woods, BEN's screams went unheard.

"You can't do this to me!"

Dark Link was holding his flailing arms behind a firework, tying them together with heavy-duty rope, smirking deviously.

"Watch us."

The shade had more or less returned to his ordinary state. His snowy hair fanned down his back, needing to be trimmed back to its former length.

Meanwhile, Zalgo was pulling and finishing off a gigantic bow in the front, effectively tying their prisoner to the firework.

"This ought to teach you an explosive lesson about flirting with us," he chuckled darkly, his voice dangerously silky.

The prince of darkness had been restored too. All the antidotes had been given out, and all was well.

A fuse was lit; the temporary partners in crime quickly stepped back and watched the red flame creep towards the firework, climbing up and up...

In a blink of an eye, it blasted off.

The firework exploded high in the sky; a grand finale of purple trails, much to the entertainment of the onlookers.

One of the trails plummeted faster than the rest, left a long plume of grey smoke in its wake, letting off a single wail lost in the night...

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

The End.

_________________________________
Final Word Count (for all): Approx: 28,008. (28K)

*hopefull kawaii eyes* Phantom did good?