Jeffy La Killer

You were extraordinarily nervous as you paced up and down in the living room.

Jeff was leaning back on the couch looking quite comfortable.

D/N sat by his feet, ears perked up and on full alert.

Finally the tense silence was broken.

"Hey Y/N... Why are you pacing up and down like that?"

You stopped dead in your tracks and whipped around.

"Because my parents are coming over to visit, Jeff! We've already been through this!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down. No need to get your underpants in a twist."

"Says the person who wears nothing but pink ones...," you muttered under your breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing. But for goodness sakes, get changed into something that isn't splattered in blood! They'll know that you're a serial killer right away!"

Jeff suddenly had a mischievous look.

"Can I wear my birthday suit?"

"Whatever," you grumbled, not really paying attention.

The psychotic killer grinned and ran upstairs.

You finally processed what he had just said.

"JEFFERY WOODS! THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOU WILL NOT INCLUDE THE SIGHT OF YOUR PALE LITTLE ARSE!"

There was a howl of laughter from upstairs.

"Okay then! How about just a clean hoodie?"

"That'll do nicely."

There was a knock at the door, causing D/N to start barking.

"Oh curdled milkshakes! They're here!"

Jeff came back downstairs a minute or two later wearing a hoodie which wasn't covered in blood.

The hood was up, hiding his wide cut smile and burnt eyelids in shadows.

Your dad extended a hand and they shook.

"So, you're the man who stole my daughter's heart!"

"Well I was planning to stab it until she kicked me in the face," Jeff said offhandedly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Uh... Honey? Are you sure that this is the person you want to marry one day?" Your mother asked worriedly.

"M-mom!" You spluttered, going red in the face.

"I just have a very dark sense of humor," Jeff shrugged. His eyes met yours and you could see a humongous smirk on his face through the darkness.

"Why is he wearing a hood indoors?"

You quickly blurted out some bogus excuse about a tragic car accident which had scarred him for life.

Your parents were immediately much kinder towards Jeff and everything went well apart from that one little slip of the tongue during dinner...

"So Jeff. Where are your parents?"

"I killed them," Jeff said casually, taking a sip of water.

"Huh?"

"Oh they went to sleep awhile ago if you know what I mean."

"Poor thing! It must've been hard for you to cope!"

"I got over it."

BEN Drowned... In strawberry milkshake?

You had forgotten to mention to BEN about the fact that your father happened to be F/N's tall and buff karate instructor.

So when he came storming into the house for a surprise visit and bellowed:

"Where's the bloody blighter who's dating my daughter?"

The elf hid behind the couch in fright.

You tried to explain to your father that BEN was a small yet smart little fella but he wasn't having any of it.

"My little girl isn't dating a midget!"

BEN meekly tugged at his trouser leg.

"S-sir?"

"What?"

"D-don't tell Y-Y/N what to do... Or else you'll regret it..."

Your dad shook him away and sat down with you to have a long lecture about how you needed a man who could defend you from danger.

While he was talking, you noticed that the T.V was starting to glitch.

He noticed as well and started fiddling with the remote.

"What's going on?"

Suddenly the screen cut to black and some words spelt out on screen.

YoU ShOulDn'T hAve doNE tHaT...

Then the lights went off, plunging the room into darkness.

"YoU'vE mEt WiTH a TerRiBlE FaTe, hAveN'T YoU?" A demonic glitchy voice echoed.

When they came back on, BEN was pointing a sword only an inch from your father's throat, eyes bleeding and wearing that maniacal smile on his face.

"I cAN TaKe cArE Of Y/n jUsT fiNe!" He said in that same haunting glitchy tone.

Your father, rather than being terrified, was dead impressed.

"I like this boy, Y/N! He's got a real spark to him!"

You smiled and BEN sheathed his sword.

"ThAnK you sir," he said politely, his voice going back to normal.

Link the Dark

"-But he doesn't even have a stable job!" Your mother argued.

"And he dresses like that video game character, Zelda!" Your father agreed.

You pulled Dark Link closer and hugged him protectively.

"His name is Dark Link, not Zelda!"

"Your social reputation will be at stake!"

"What about that other one, E/BF/N? He was a sweet fellow!"

"He cheated on me with a hussy who couldn't even spell the word-"

Dark Link gently pulled himself free of your grasp.

"Shh... Y/N. If your parents don't approve of me then it might be best if I-"

"RRREOW!"

A young cat suddenly sprung up from the window. It looked eerily similar to the recently decapitated C/N.

"Um... What is that thing?" You asked.

Your mother shrieked and jumped onto the couch, sneezing violently.

"Get it away from me! Eeek!"

Dark cocked his head slightly to one side.

"I've babysat Grinny a lot and I do know a bit of cat language..."

"Well?"

The cat began mewing and pawing at the ground.

"It's saying... Draw your sword and fight for I will avenge the death of my father here and today."

"That cat is C/N's son? Is this some sort of movie?"

You and your father didn't quite know what to do so you both sat down and watched the show.

Dark Link drew out his sword and pointed it at the enraged feline.

"Prepare to join thy father in the afterlife!"

The cat somehow drew out a sword of its own and so began the weirdest battle to ever take place.

Well, to be fair, it didn't last very long but Dark Link was thoughtful enough to dispose of the cat outside.

"That crazy thing had better be an only child...," he muttered, coming back in and closing the door behind him.

Your mother sighed in relief and held a hand over her chest.

"God bless you, my dear boy!"

"That was a jolly good show!"

You and Dark Link both looked at them with anxiety.

"So...?"

"We approve!"

Laughing Jackson (Getting closer...)

Your parents absolutely adored L.J right from the start.

"His nose is so cute!" Your mother said.

"And he's a clown!" Your father chuckled.

L.J got along pretty well with them and even cracked a few funny jokes without any sarcasm!

You knew the real reason why he was acting so nice was because he still felt bad about slapping you over the face.

The only issue was that your beyotch of a big sis kept on openly flirting with him.

"So L.J... How did a dark, tall and handsome person like you end up with my snotty little sister?" She asked, batting her fake eyelashes.

You glanced at L.J and made a cutthroat gesture.

The monochrome clown gulped and chuckled nervously.

"She-She helped me out in my time of need?"

Your sister moved closer until her head was practically resting on his feathery shoulder.

"But surely now it's time to move on to the more prettier girls, am I right?"

Uncomfortable wouldn't have described how L.J looked at that moment.

He edged away and let her head abruptly tip over and fall onto the couch cushion.

"I'm sorry but Y/N is the only one for-"

As a last resort, she shot up and planted a sloppy kiss right on his lips. Squashing his nose in the process.

You clapped a hand over your mouth, unsure if you should be seething or sympathetic.

Your mother was outraged at her behavior and dragged your sister out of the house along with your father, scolding her all the way.

L.J wailed in despair and curled up into a little ball.

"I've been tarnished! Stained! Un-purified!"

"Is unpurified even a word?" You asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

But the killer clown had already gone running off somewhere, covering his face and screaming about needing professional therapy or something.

You shrugged and decided to make cheese dip for some nachos.

At the Creepypasta Mansion...

Jeff was sitting on the examination table with his legs swinging over the edge as he told Doctor Smiley all about his encounter with Jane.

The not-so-good doctor was sitting on a therapist's chair, nodding and taking down notes.

"-And I told her that it was just because of my insanity but she wouldn't accept that as an answer-"

"Jeff? Have you ever considered the possibility of giving her an apology for brutally murdering the people that she loved and cared about the most?"

"No, I haven't. Why? It's not that big of a deal. Oh! I met Y/N's parents today, they were actually decent. Unlike BEN. His girlfriend's father is her karate instructor. I'd hate to get on his bad side!"

Smiley rolled his eyes and jotted down a few notes.

Forge a recording of Jeff's voice apologizing to Jane. Check up on BEN for any fighting-related injuries. Celebrate an entire week of no Laughing Jack-

Just then, the door swung open.

Smiley cringed , wondering why he had jinxed his luck as the clipboard slid off his lap

"Move outta the way!"

L.J shoved Jeff off the table and sat down himself.

"Doctor Smiley! Doctor Smiley!"

Smiley turned away and took a very deep breath before looking back with a forced smile.

"How may I help you, L.J?"

Slenderman will kill me if he finds out I tried to murder another pasta...

"It's my girlfriend's sister! She kissed me and now I think I might have some sort of contagious disease!"

"Really? Was she displaying any particularly troublesome symptoms? Coughing or sneezing perhaps?" Smiley asked, reaching out to slowly put on his mask and gloves without him noticing.

Jeff groaned and sat up, stars and birdies spinning around his head.

"Ooooh..."

L.J accidentally kicked his head back down onto the floor as he began fidgeting.

"Well no..."

"Did she mention anything about recently visiting a foreign country?"

"Just the local pub..."

"Any recent illnesses?"

"Not exactly..."

"Then what in Zalgo makes you think that she's carrying a deathly disease?" Smiley asked exasperatedly, reaching down to pick up his clipboard again.

"She just acted really weird and looked ready to jump me at any time!"

Smiley looked up and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"L.J...?"

"Yes?"

"Is... Is that bright pink lipstick on your nose?"

The monochrome clown reached up and felt the squashed cone.

Birds flew out from the surrounding trees as a defeating screech echoed through the forest.

"MY NOSE!"

"Here we go again...," Smiley muttered under his breath.

_________________________________________

A/N: Well here we are! By some miracle of god, I managed to post up the latest chapter!

I can't promise that the next one won't be a bit late though.

Coming up next: He Does Something Unexpected.

Ta-Ta! ~ TheNightPhantom