Jeff the Killer

It was dark. It was late.

And you were on your monthly.

"Jeffy boy!"

Jeff flinched and tried to look busy by picking up a nearby book.

You came into the lounge with D/N trotting by your heels.

"I'm out of painkillers! Go and buy more from the local pharmacy and get some (Favorite Chocolate) while you're at it."

The psychotic killer stared at the book with unblinking eyes and feigned temporary deafness.

"I know you can hear me, Jeffy boy!"

He waved you off causally.

"Not right now, Y/N! This is an interesting part full of action!"

You started smirking.

"I didn't know that you liked reading Fifty Shades of Grey, Jeff. And upside down to boot."

Finally he realized that the book he'd picked up had been left behind by BEN, who gave it as a mocking prank of an anniversary gift awhile ago.

Jeff's pale face turned red as he quickly dropped it and scrambled to his feet.

"One bottle of painkillers it is!"

"-And don't forget the chocolate!"

"R-Roger that sir! I-I mean, miss!"

The psychotic killer hightailed it to the pharmacy, fearful of your hormonal-induced wrath.

Soon he went running back out, stuffing a small paper bag into his hoodie pocket.

Jeff rocketed down the street, screeched to a halt, whipped around and tore a path to the 24-hour general store.

"Chocolate! I need chocolate!" He panted, stopping by the counter.

"We're closed," the cashier said flatly.

Jeff craned his neck and spotted the chocolate display behind him, seemingly sparkling with cheesy special effects.

He pulled out his knife and viciously stabbed the man multiple times.

"Go to sleep!"

After manically cackling that main phrase, he leapt over the counter and started shoveling as much chocolate as he could into his hoodie.

Unfortunately, the extra weight slowed him down a lot as he began waddling back out.

Two police officers stopped him by the exit.

"Drop the items now, sonny! We'll let you off with a warning!"

Jeff tried to reach for his knife, but it was lost in the sea of chocolate goodies.

He could drop the load and run, but then his girlfriend would probably murder him.

So he did the only thing he could think of.

"Well really! I know that mah face was disfigured in an accident but that leaves you with no right to accuse me and my lil' unborn baby of shoplifting!" He said in a ridiculously high pitched voice, stroking the bulge of stolen items.

The officers stepped aside.

"O-our deepest apologies, ma'am!" They both stammered.

Then their radios turned on with a burst of static.

"Zzz! Jeff the killer has been spotted at the local supermarket! He's severely injured the cashier and took off with a load of chocolates! He has a pale face, medium black hair and burnt eyelids!"

Needless to say, you saw his arrest on the national news the next day.

And so did Slenderman.

He wasn't happy.

You weren't happy either.

BEN Drowned... In Christmas presents?

You weren't sure how and you weren't sure why.

But by some goddam miracle, BEN had been mistaken for one of Santa's missing elves.

A horde of reindeer had come crashing through the roof and whisked him away just when you two had been in the middle of a heated, sweaty, intense...

Game of Mario Kart.

(What else were you thinking, you pervert?)

"Help me!" He wailed as he became a small dot in the midnight sky.

"Don't worry, BEN! I'll get F/N to help me rescue you!" You yelled.

Fluffy had almost been trampled by the hooves and was now hiding upstairs in the underwear drawer, looking terrified.

At Santa's Workshop (Five hours later because as it turned out, even reindeer had to pass through airport customs and they all had North-Pole-Issued passports as well as aviation licenses)

BEN stared at himself in dismay in the mirror.

"I'm not wearing this!"

His green hat had been replaced with a jingly one and instead of a tunic, he was wearing an - in his opinion - embarrassingly hideous stripy sweater.

The little elf hopped up and down, causing all of the tiny bells to jingle cutely.

"I'm not an elf! I'm not an elf!" He screamed, his voice going all squeaky.

"Would you rather be called a whiny blonde midget with pointy ears?" Another one of the elves asked politely.

BEN had steam coming out of... Well... Almost everywhere possible.

"I don't wanna sit there and make toys! I wanna play my video games!"

"Oh good! We don't have time to test all of them and the children will be very disappointed if they don't work properly!"

"Say what?"

"Can you be in charge of personally testing the exclusive video games for faults or glitches by playing them all? We have a huge plasma screen T.V too!"

BEN was suddenly a lot more eager to stay.

Dark Link

Darkness was walking home with you after a wonderful midnight stroll around the park.

"I never knew that a fountain could look so beautiful when it's illuminated by fireflies and lantern glow!"

"Not as beautiful as you," he said firmly, pulling you into a kiss.

You ran your hands through his soft snowy hair, kissing him back.

And standing on a bridge with the moonlight shining down and the glittering water flowing like silk underneath, it was utterly perfect.

Then the moment was throughly ruined by a car which zoomed by and left behind a huge cloud of pure pollution.

You both broke apart, coughing and spluttering.

"Jesus Christ!"

"Haven't those idiots ever heard of a speed limit?"

The open-roof sadly meant that the occupants of that particular car heard that last comment.

It came to a shuddering halt and the doors swung open.

Several tough thug-looking men filed out.

And I mean like, tattoos, piercings, bulging muscles, spiky rainbow hair, leather jackets, basically every single stereotype ever (Not just because Phantom still hasn't got her sense of originality back or anything... Ehehe...)

Dark Link instinctively pulled you behind him.

"We aren't looking for trouble."

The ringleader, who even had a piercing on his eye (Seriously, that's a real thing), came closer.

"You lookin' for a fight, pal?"

"Are you deaf? I just told you that we didn't want any trouble."

It was unclear who struck out first but in an instant, he was surrounded and fighting off the thugs with his sword.

You desperately tried to reach him but was pulled back by the hair.

"And just where d'ya think you're going?"

"Let me go! You-You smell like horse poop!"

Yes, that had been the only insult that your panicked mind could churn out.

The big guy laughed gruffly.

Suddenly, the ghost of C/N appeared, wielding a katana and sporting a samurai outfit. The long beard was wrapped around its neck like a flapping scarf.

He/She gave a war cry before charging at your assaulter and using some bizarre spectral power to throw him off the bridge.

Splash!

You heard him crash into the river and quickly scooted away from the panic.

C/N used more of the strange power to teleport you to...

The local fish emporium.

It floated over to the counter and somehow ordered 'the regular'.

You looked around in dismay for anything to call the police with and eventually spotted a pay phone.

The frantic call sent five police cars to be dispatched to the area because apparently those men had been a gang of thugs with some pretty scary stuff on their record.

There was no sign of the men.

And there was no sign of Darkness apart from his hat, which he would never have gone without.

Laughing Jimalk

L.J came running in, on the verge of hysterics.

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!"

"Yes? Yes? Yes?" You repeated, raising an eyebrow.

He tripped over his own feet and ended up sprawled out on the floor.

But the monochrome clown soon sprang up again.

"It's horrible! All of the creepypastas with girlfriends! They've met with terrible fates!"

"Calm down and tell me what happened!" You yelped, pulling out an emergency swirly lollipop from under the couch cushion.

L.J plonked himself down on the rug and licked it in-between sobs.

"Jeff was arrested while pretending to be pregnant, Dark Link disappeared with this gang of thugs and BEN's been kidnapped by Santa Claus!"

He ended up biting off a huge chunk of the lollipop and crunched on it.

You sighed and patted his head.

"What's Slenderman doing about it?"

"He's trying to locate Jeff, BEN's girlfriend is already booking a flight to the North Pole and F/N's working with the police and Smile Dog to find Darkness!" He sniffled.

"Then why are you worried? It sounds like they've got everything under control."

"But what if I'm next?"

You chuckled nervously as you remembered the time that L.J had gotten infected with the virus that drove creepypastas crazier than usual.

"I doubt it."

The monochrome clown suddenly looked up.

"Oh no! What if Smiley's been Smiley-Napped by his brother?"

"Er..."

Before you could stop him, L.J went running back out.

Then he went running back in to fetch an umbrella because it was raining.

Then he ran out again.

Naturally, he slowed down and got sidetracked when he noticed that the candy store was having a discount sale.

At The Creepypasta Mansion...

(Name) opened the door to the surgery.

"Smiley? Are you okay?"

Doctor Smiley was busy with polishing his scalpels, presumably for the next 'patient'.

And as expected, there was blood all over the place again.

"Oh hello, (Name)," he chuckled, putting it down.

(Name) cocked her head to one side.

"You look different..."

"I do?"

Then she had a lightbulb idea.

"I got it!"

She went over and ruffled his hair to make it messy again, then picked up a surgery mask from the box and tied it around his head.

"There! That's the Smiley that I know and love!"

Smiley secretly smiled under his mask and lifted it slightly to give her a kiss right on the lips.

"I love you."

"Oh I love you too!"

She gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"That penguin of yours is doing fine, in fact it's growing up to be a fine little waddler!"

(Name) waved him goodbye before leaving because she had a few errands to run.

Smiley took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

Then the not-so-good-dentist burst into mad laughter.

He stood up and locked the door before turning around and heading for the closet.

"Now where were we?"

He opened the closet door with glee and out tumbled a half-unconscious Doctor Smiley, who had splatters of crimson staining his crisp white coat.

_______________

Dun dun duuh! Cliffhanger!

I guess I was feeling in a good mood today because of a birthday that's coming up. We've already made four giant heart-shaped cakes and yes, the batter was mixed in the big blue tub that's usually reserved for carrying large amounts of water to the fish tank.

I mean seriously, there was enough chocolate cake mix for a chihuahua to doggy-paddle in! We made a giant cupcake out of the remaining bits!

Okay so maybe it was my fault for adding a whole full packet of flour but never mind the minor details. I mixed up the whole thing and hopefully it'll taste great tomorrow!

Anyway, this was my big idea for the 5K special chapter. Although I missed that mark but never mind!

Thio333 gave me the idea for BEN to be kidnapped by Santa (Or to be more specific, she helped me build on it) And _DeathNote_'s suggestion about 'He almost dies but you save him', inspired Dark Link's scenario. (Oops. Spoiler alert! :D)

Until the next update (Which won't have so much delay unless a coconut tree crashes through the roof and kills us all in our sleep or something randomly weird like that)

Ta-Ta!

~TheNightPhantom