I don't belong here

"Remus and I broke up," Sirius muttered, not meeting Peter's eyes.

He stared in shock.

Padfoot had to be messing with him. They were the perfect couple, they couldn't break up. If there was no hope for Padfoot and Moony, there was no hope for Peter to win over Mary again.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "I had the same look on my face when he broke up with me. I know. It's absolutely bloody fucking crazy."

Peter took a sip of his Firewhisky, it was starting to become fairly obvious why Sirius had provided alcohol this early in the morning.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking at Padfoot who was starting to lose his composure.

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah, as much as I can be. But anyway, I don't think I can help you with your issue cause it's fairly obvious I'm absolute shit at relationships."

This was worrisome. Peter needed help and he didn't dare to go over to Marlene's help. Plus Prongs was a nervous wreck these days about the fact he would be a father sometime later this summer. The Longbottoms were the same way.

Which left no one to turn to except for Sirius. But apparently, he couldn't help Peter.

"You're not shit at anything. You're Sirius Black! You're the legendary Padfoot," Peter announced, his voice cracking from speaking louder than he typically did.

Sirius cracked a grin, "I need to take you with me all the time, you can be personal cheerer upper."

Peter smiled as well, even though he wasn't feeling like smiling.

It was all well and done to cheer up a friend, but he needed someone to cheer him up. Someone to tell him that he was good at something and remind him that he was also legendary.

But no one was willing to spread those lies.

"You're a good friend Wormy, go get your girl!" Sirius gestured to the door enthusiastically, "Win her over again!"

Peter got up and headed towards the door, "Thanks."

He had nothing to thank him for but Sirius obviously assumed that he had actually helped and Peter didn't want to be rude.

Peter left. He didn't go to try and win Mary over again. He had hurt her, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. And he had to respect the fact that she had realized he was a creep.

Instead, he went to the muggle village him and Mary often strolled around. This was his place to look for answers. A seat on the hill, overlooking the river.

It was peaceful and it calmed him down. But today that would not be the case.

There was something in the water, floating down it. Something that was causing muggle nearer the water to gasp and move away.

He stood up from his perch and moved closer.

With a sickening feeling in his stomach, five thousand times worse than apparating, he ran to the water.

He dove in, ignoring the cries of protest from the locals, and using all of his strength, dragged the body onto shore.

He flipped it, revealing his worse nightmare.

It was a sick turn of fate, leading him to his and Mary's spot just to reunite them like this.

There was no doubt the corpse was hers, even though it was grotesquely bloated he could still see remnants of her beauty.

She was dead. Mary MacDonald was dead. There was no doubt about it.

He clutched her closer and felt a gutteral sound leave his body. He collapsed onto her, holding tighter and tighter.

She was his and he was hers. But she was dead.

He never thought she could die. Sure people died every day but never any of his friends or Mary. No one he truly cared about.

She wasn't a statistic. She was a person he cared about. She was a person not just a corpse, not just another fallen hero.

She wasn't supposed to die, she couldn't die. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't do anything.

Death Eaters slaughtered members of the Order everyday, and that meant Mary. He thought Mary was untouchable and they killed her and through her into her favorite river.

No one in the Order was safe. He wasn't safe in the Order. The only people that were safe were Death Eaters.

Without Mary, he only had his own life. Death felt real now and he didn't want to die.

He knew what he had to do, so he did it.

All while knowing, the ghost of Mary would never forgive him for the atrocities he was about to commit.