***Trigger warnings for vomit, manipulation, abuse, and symptoms of PTSD.***

Start the song. It's Lavender Blood by Fox Academy.

They bought enough junk food to last them for at least a week before checking into a seedy motel in Coosa County that night. Josh texted his dad that he'd be home in the morning, but didn't provide his dad with any additional details. Ashley didn't text anyone, just yawning and watching Josh gather their stuff out of the truck from the passenger seat.

"Lemme help," she offered sleepily, reaching her hands out for some of the grocery bags in Josh's grasp.

"I got it. Sit tight for a second," he told her simply, making her look a bit confused as he left the truck and went to the room with the number 14 on it.

He unlocked the door and deposited their stuff on the table before coming back out to the truck, opening Ashley's door. She made a little noise of surprise when he lifted her off of her seat, kicking the truck door closed before carrying her inside. She yawned again, resting her head on his shoulder. He didn't blame her for being exhausted. It was nearly midnight, and she'd had a long day.

What Josh didn't understand was why he wanted to take care of her so badly. He didn't know why he set her down gently on top of the bed before closing the door to the room. He didn't know why he helped her undress until she was in just a pale blue thong before tucking her in beneath the covers. She didn't seem to know why either, watching him as if she was waiting for him to suddenly strike at her like a snake, but he didn't.

He just kissed her forehead and asked, "Do you need anything?"

She hesitated before asking timidly, "Can I wear your shirt?"

"Yeah," Josh agreed easily, shrugging his flannel off before pulling his shirt over his head. He helped her to sit up and pull the shirt on before laying her back down. "Better?" He asked, not really sure how else to address the situation.

"Yeah. Thanks," she replied quietly.

Although he wasn't sure why he did this either, he brushed her hair off of her face with a touch much softer than he was used to. She flinched at first, making him still. He continued when she relaxed again though.

"If I am pregnant, and we get married, is this how you're gonna act from now on?" Ashley asked in a small voice. When Josh kept his mouth shut and avoided looking at her, she added, "I like this. I like this side of you a lot. I just don't understand where it's coming from."

"I don't either," Josh admitted, standing and going across the room to their grocery bags full of rations. He dug through them until he found the toothbrushes and toothpaste they'd bought as well. "Did you want-"

He stopped talking when Ashley suddenly rushed past him and into the bathroom, not even having time to close the door before she was collapsing in front of the toilet and vomiting into it. Josh stood completely still just outside the door, unsure of what to do as he watched her empty out her stomach. When there was nothing left, she wiped her mouth on a square of toilet paper and flushed it away with the vomit.

When she looked at Josh with a strange expression on her face, he just cracked open the package of toothbrushes and handed one to her. She sniffled quietly, and for some reason, that was all it took for him to step into the bathroom and help her put toothpaste on her toothbrush for her. He didn't brush his teeth while she did. He just stood beside her, staring at her stomach in the mirror and willing it to grow. He wanted her vomit to have contained the pill he'd bought her. He wanted her to be pregnant. He wanted her to leave Brendon. He wanted to start over-to force Ashley to be a better mom that the ones they'd had.

"Does this mean you're pregnant?" He asked her as she spat toothpaste out into the sink and rinsed her toothbrush a few moments later.

Ashley shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe I just ate too much. Don't freak out yet."

"Who's freaking out?" He asked calmly.

She met his gaze in the mirror, smiling slightly when she saw that he was serious. "I should be, but you keep distracting me."

Josh offered her a half smile. "I just don't see what the big deal is. You're either pregnant or you aren't. Either way, we'll take care of this together. That's it."

Ashley turned around to look at him properly. She hesitated before asking, "So if I am pregnant, you'll really marry me?"

"I already said yes to that," Josh replied irritably.

"So if I broke up with Brendon right now, you'd be my boyfriend, but only because I might be knocked up with your kid," Ashley deduced.

Josh shrugged. "Why not? Who else is gonna want you when you're all swollen and stretched out from carrying my baby? Brendon won't. You'll be my responsibility though since you're the mama of my kid. I'm the only person who's gonna want you, and I'll beat the shit out anyone else who tries to touch you. You'll be mine, princess."

Ashley blushed, looking hopefully at Josh. "And if I'm not pregnant?" She whispered.

"Not my problem," Josh replied simply. "You can go back to humping Brendon's leg like a stupid fucking dog and living off of toast and coffee."

Ashley looked down at her bare feet, shifting slightly before nodding and leaving the bathroom. Josh brushed his teeth in her absence, enjoying the silence much more than her company. He kept thinking about the baby potentially growing in her stomach though, and he couldn't help praying for his sperm to reach an egg. He could keep her then. If she was pregnant, Brendon couldn't claim her anymore. She'd be Josh's.

Before climbing into bed beside Ashley, Josh stripped down to his boxers. Ashley was facing away from him, tense as she stared at the wall in front of her. She softened slightly when Josh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close until her back rested against his chest.

"Be a good girl," he whispered to her. "Don't act like a fucking crybaby."

She hesitated before whispering, "We shouldn't've bought the pill. I shouldn't've taken it. We should've thought about this. Be honest, Josh. Do you want me to be pregnant or not?"

Josh sighed. "I want you to be pregnant."

"I do too," she whispered quietly. "We fucked up. What if I was going to be pregnant, and we fucked it up? I don't want Brendon anymore, Josh. He scares me sometimes, and he's so immature. I love him, but I cringe whenever he touches me. It's not like that with you. You scare me too, but you know me better than anyone, and part of me knows that you'd protect me from the end of the world if you needed to."

They were quiet for a moment, thinking that over. Would Josh do that? He didn't think he would if she wasn't carrying his baby. It was one thing to protect the mama of his child, but he didn't care enough about Ashley to do that for her otherwise.

It was Ashley who broke the silence. She looked over her shoulder at him and timidly asked, "Josh, do you want to fuck me?"

"Right now?" He asked disinterestedly, not complaining when she laced her fingers with his and nodded. "You just threw up."

"Yeah, but maybe it'll cancel out the pill," she reasoned quietly. "Maybe if we just have sex a few times without a condom, you can make sure to really get me pregnant. Then we can have a baby together, and Brendon can fuck off, and we can get married and be better parents than ours were. We'll spoil our baby and give her everything she could ever need and love her more than anything in the world. I want this, Josh. I want to to be a mama, but only if I know you're gonna be the daddy."

Josh sighed as he thought that over. "Do you even have any energy left to fuck with?"

"Maybe a little," Ashley replied uncertainly.

Josh smirked. "Better find more, princess. I ain't gonna fuck you if you're just laying there like a dead body. Besides, it ain't fun if you don't fuck back."

"In the morning then?" Ashley suggested hopefully.

Josh yawned. "Fine. I'll fuck you in the morning. You better be pregnant when I'm done with you though. I'm gonna be bored of you soon."

Ashley turned around in his arms, looking at him fearfully. "Bored?"

Josh's eyelids slipped shut. "You aren't very interesting, princess. You're fun to fuck, but that's it. The only way you could change my mind about that is to have a baby and prove that God gave you some kind of natural talent."

"I'll give you a baby," Ashley promised. "If you knock me up, I'll give you a baby, and if you marry me, I'll give you more. Our babies will be safe and happy, and they'll always have two parents at home who love them."

Josh smirked slightly. "You think you've got enough fuck in you to get me off tonight then, princess?"

A breath of relief left Ashley's lungs as she immediately shifted her underwear off beneath the sheets and dropped them onto the floor. "Yes. Yes, please. Yes. I do."

Josh chuckled as he ditched his boxers like she'd ditched her panties before climbing between her legs. "Sure, get your practice in. You're gonna be walking down the fucking aisle barefoot and pregnant to say that shit pretty soon. Then I'm gonna fuck you until you're either bleeding or begging me to let you cum every single night for the rest of your life."

Smut warning. Proceed to the next author's note.

Ashley whimpered, pulling him down to kiss her as she slid her palm down his stomach to rub at his cock. He smirked into the kiss, grinding against her hand to let her know she was going to have to do better than that.

"Josh?" Ashley gasped out breathlessly. He grunted disinterestedly in response, too focused on pushing her hand out of the way and moving down her body to give her the first round of head he owed her from their bet. "Just wanted to-" Her words were severed by a gasp as he nipped at her inner thigh. "Just wanted to tell you why you're so much better in bed than-" She moaned desperately as his mouth travelled upwards. "-than Brendon."

Josh smirked, lifting his head to look at her with amused curiosity. "Oh yeah? And why's that?"

"Three reasons," she explained breathlessly as Josh's mouth made its way back between her legs. "One, you're huge. After sleeping with you, Brendon's dick feels like nothing."

She smiled blissfully when Josh laughed, resting his head against her thigh. "I ain't surprised," he replied. "He acts like he's got a pussy instead of a dick."

Ashley giggled. "Number two, you know what a fucking clit is. Brendon has no fucking concept of why I need more than his tiny dick to get me off."

Josh smirked, maintaining eye contact as he licked a stripe along her clit. She shivered, whimpering as her hand shot down to tangle in his hair. "Reason three?" He requested calmly, not minding the fist roughly gripping his hair at all.

"Reason three is that you fuck like you're trying to break me. You take complete charge of me and make everything hurt so fucking good that I wanna explode. God, I want you to break me. I want you to keep breaking me for the rest of my life because I'm starting to forget how to cum without it," Ashley informed him, looking as if she was slipping into a trance as he shifted his face between her legs, licking her from top to bottom in one fluid motion.

"God, if I wasn't trying to knock you up right now, I'd fuck your ass," Josh told her offhandedly, pulling her ass checks open with his thumbs. "You ever taken it up the ass before?"

Ashley blushed. "Yes," she admitted.

Josh smirked. "And?"

Her blush deepened. "I came so hard I blacked out for a second."

That was the best possible response in Josh's opinion. "With Brendon?" He asked, suddenly feeling irritated. She shook her head, looking embarrassed. "His dad?"

"Just once," she breathed out timidly.

"Does he know where your clit is?" Josh asked cockily.

Ashley grinned. "No, sir."

Josh smirked deviously. "Well, princess, as soon as you're knocked up, I'm gonna pound the hell out of your ass and rub your clit raw, and you're gonna fucking take it."

Her legs tightened around his ears as she moaned. "Please, Josh. Please," she begged desperately. "I need you to ruin me. I need you to make me so no one will ever want me again. Please."

Josh grinned as he buried his face between her legs again. He hated giving girls head. It always gave him a sick feeling in his stomach and made that familiar discomfort creep into the back of his mind, but Ashley was different. The more he licked and sucked at her, the louder she got-the harder she tried to fuck his face. Josh pushed her legs further apart so her knees were closer to her ears than the mattress, sucking her through her first orgasm of the night. He didn't bother licking her clean. He didn't bother giving her a break either before he was climbing back up between her legs and guiding his dripping cock inside of her.

Ashley was trembling as he set an admittedly brutal pace with his hips, fucking her much too harshly to start off, but it was exactly what he wanted. She'd said to ruin her, and he was going to do that.

Ashley's fingers latched onto his hair so tightly that his scalp ached, and she whimpered when the action made him moan. "Jesus, Josh," she gasped out, her back arching slightly as he changed his angle just slightly. She pulled his hair to tilt his head up so she could kiss him. She was warm and wet around his cock, barely having the energy to meet his harsh thrusts. "Fuck! Josh?"

His only response was a grunt as he thrusted into her roughly, raking the blunt nails on his right hand down her breast and along her stomach before rubbing her clit in time with the movements of his hips. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she moaned and rolled her hips with his.

She started to say something, but the words were swallowed up by another desperate moan. "Please, please, please," she whimpered out despite still not having told him what she wanted.

"What?" He asked her harshly, his hips not relenting for even a second.

Ashley whined, reaching down to pull his hand out from between her legs. He smirked when she brought it up to her throat instead, and he understood. He squeezed the sides of her throat, letting her take over rubbing her clit. She looked like she was about to completely fall apart, incapable of making any sounds that weren't moans, whimpers, curse words, or Josh's name. He could feel heat pooling in his stomach, but he didn't let up until Ashley was screaming, her nails raking down his back as she came hard around him.

She whined at first when he pulled out, but grinned when he rolled her over onto her stomach before shoving his cock back inside of her and fucking her roughly. She tried to keep rolling her hips with his, but she was drained. It didn't matter though because it only took a couple more thrusts before he was cumming hard inside of her, moaning lowly as he did so. He fucked himself through his orgasm before pulling out slowly, making her whimper again.

The smut is over!

"Can't wait to tell our kid I was choking you when she was conceived," Josh joked as he plopped down on the bed beside Ashley, who giggled tiredly.

She yawned, shifting to rest her head on his chest. "Would you be mad if we had a little boy?"

"No," Josh replied easily. "I don't really know what I'd do with a son though."

Ashley smiled up at him sleepily. "What if we just stayed here and never went back to Prattville?" She asked in a whisper.

Josh smirked, rolling over onto his side so they were facing each other. She giggled when he pulled her closer before grabbing her ass in his hands. "My dad would call the SWAT team."

Ashley grinned, making Josh roll his eyes when she kissed his nose. "Fuck me again in the morning?" She requested hopefully.

"Mmm, probably," Josh mumbled, pressing his face into her tangled blue curls. "Guess we've gotta keep going til you're actually knocked up, huh?"

"Mmhm," she agreed cheerfully. "Should I wait until I'm actually pregnant to break up with Brendon?" She added thoughtfully.

"Fuck no. Call him right now," Josh grumbled into her hair, kneading her ass in his hands. "Tell him you're knocked up, and it ain't his."

She grinned. "He'd kill me."

"I'd kill him before I ever let him touch you," Josh replied, closing his eyes and allowing his muscles to relax.

"Yeah?" Ashley asked happily.

"Mhm. He's hit my baby mama too many times," Josh mused, making her laugh. "He don't get to touch what belongs to me."

"So...are you really committed to my ass right now, or should I go get my phone?" Ashley challenged.

Josh grinned, opening his eyes again. Ashley squealed out a giggle when he spanked her ass hard. "Get your phone," he decided, already half shoving her out of the bed.

He watched Ashley's ass as she walked over to her shorts, bending over and grabbing her phone out of the pocket. Josh smirked when he saw the bright red handprint on her left asscheek. She climbed back into bed with him, pushing him onto his back and climbing into his lap as she searched through her contacts for Brendon's number. She stopped then, looking at him nervously.

"What if he really does try to hurt me?" She asked quietly.

"I'll snap his neck," Josh replied simply, making Ashley squeak when he pushed the call button on her phone. "Be a good girl for me, princess."

She looked sick as she turned her phone on speaker and set it on Josh's chest. She traced the lines of his stomach with her fingertips as the phone rang loudly in the silent hotel room as they waited for Brendon to pick up. Josh reached out and trailed his fingertips along the harsh red scratches running from the top of her breast to her lower stomach. Ashley chewed nervously at her bottom lip as she watched his fingertips.

Just when Josh thought Brendon wasn't going to answer, he picked up with an incredibly romantic, "It's two in the morning, Ashley. What the fuck do you want?"

Ashley looked nervously at Josh, who gave her a crooked smile, trailing his fingertips across her stomach. She blushed, reaching down to tangle her fingers with hers. He allowed that, but only because he knew she'd pussy out if he didn't baby her right now.

"I know it's late, but this is kind of important," she told him a bit timidly.

Josh raised an eyebrow when Brendon snorted. "I seriously doubt that, but go ahead. Hurry the fuck up though. I have to wake up early tomorrow."

When Ashley looked pleadingly at Josh, he shifted the phone onto the bed beside him before pulling Ashley down to lie on top of him. He rubbed her back, whispering in her ear, "Come on, princess. You know he won't take care of you and our baby like I will."

He smirked when she shivered at his words before saying, "Brendon, I don't want to be with you anymore."

Silence came through the other end of the phone for a moment before Brendon asked in a much less irritated voice, "Wait, what?"

"I'm breaking up with you," she said, practically purring when Josh smirked proudly and kissed her forehead.

He was winning this. After letting Brendon win for years, Josh had taken back something Brendon had stolen from him. Josh got to keep Ashley. Brendon didn't.

"Tell him why, princess," Josh whispered smugly to her. "Tell him why you're mine now."

Ashley's fingers soothed through his mussed curls as she turned to face the phone again. "I don't want to be with you anymore because I'm pregnant, and it isn't yours," she reported obediently.

"What the fuck do you mean it isn't mine? Who else have you been fucking?" Brendon demanded, his confusion slowly being dissolved into anger.

"None of his business," Josh murmured to her, kissing along the shell of her ear softly as he spoke. She shivered when his teeth sank into her earlobe, pulling at it.

Ashley was completely boneless from Josh's meaningless affection as she told Brendon, "Don't worry about that. He's gonna take care of me and the baby in ways you aren't mature enough to handle."

Oh, Josh loved this. He loved every moment of this, especially when Brendon's voice broke as he demanded, "How do you know it isn't mine?"

"I don't care if its yours. I want it to be his, and he does too. He's gonna take care of me. You've never been able to do that," Ashley insisted, making Josh's cheeks hurt from grinning. "You said last night that you were bored of me anyway. Looks like you're off the hook."

Josh almost laughed out loud. He wanted to fuck Ashley again. He wanted to pick her up and spin her around. He wanted her to really be pregnant. He wanted to take her away from Brendon forever.

"I didn't mean that, baby. You know I didn't mean that. I'm serious, Ashley. You can't just decide to break up with me, especially when you might be pregnant with my kid!" Brendon pleaded, sounding like he was going to cry. "Look, baby. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I was drunk. You know I don't mean the shit I say when I'm drunk. I love you. I love you more than anyone else ever could."

Ashley seemed to hesitate then, reaching over to mute her end of the call before looking to Josh and asking, "Do you love me?"

Josh snorted. "Come on, princess. I told you I'd marry you. Obviously you mean something to me," he lied. "And I don't smack you around and tell you not to eat like he does. I'm gonna take care of you for the rest of my life. He's never gonna do nothing like that, and you know it."

Ashley smiled slightly before unmuting the call and telling Brendon, "You don't know shit about love, and this isn't your baby. Find someone else to hit when you're drunk. I'm over it."

"Ash-" Brendon tried, but she ended the call, sitting up in Josh's lap and staring at her phone.

She wasn't smiling. She didn't look happy. She looked...not good. Suddenly, she shot off of Josh's lap and ran to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet as she threw up again. He watched her from the bed as she heaved and gagged over the bowl. She was shaking as she brushed her teeth again and climbed back into bed with him.

"Josh?" She asked in a small voice as he lifted the covers for her to crawl back under them. She immediately climbed back up onto his lap. "I think I want you to hit me."

"Why?" Josh asked curiously, not sure how that fit in with the current situation. "You said you don't like when Brendon hits you."

Tears were gathering in Ashley's eyes. "Hit me," she repeated quietly. "Please?"

"No. Fuck that. You don't want that," Josh decided. When Ashley's bottom lip trembled, he rolled his eyes before pulling her back down to lie on top of him. "You don't want that, princess. You really don't. You just need to go to sleep."

"He's gonna kill me, Josh," she sobbed out against his shoulder. "Or you. What if he hurts you? It'll be my fault. Josh-"

"We're in this position because of me, Ashley. It's not your fucking fault, and I'll kick his fucking ass if he touches you. He doesn't get to touch you. That's bullshit," Josh snapped. "Fuck all of that."

Ashley sniffled as she watched Josh turn off the lamp by the bed, making the whole room go dark. She sniffled as she tucked her face against his throat and let out a shaky breath. Her hand slid into his hair as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"Am I crushing you?" She asked quietly.

Josh closed his eyes, not releasing her at all. "Nah. I got you," he mumbled. "Goodnight, princess."

"Goodnight," Ashley replied quietly, nuzzling closer against his throat and pressing a light kiss to the skin there. "Do you think I'm pregnant yet?"

"Dunno," Josh grumbled, ignoring the wild strands of her hair that tickled at his cheek and chin. "Guess we'll have to fuck in the morning as insurance."

He smiled slightly when Ashley giggled. "Deal," she agreed. "Do we have to go home tomorrow?"

He yawned. "Yeah. I'll feed you first though. No more of this coffee and toast bullshit. I'll feed you when you're hungry. I'll feed you actual food."

"Like when we were kids?" Ashley asked amusedly. "You used to bring me a lunch every single day when we were little."

"Exactly like that. You're my responsibility again, so I'm gonna take good care of you. I swear to God," Josh reassured her sleepily. "Now go to sleep, princess. You can talk my fucking ear off in the morning."

He grumbled irritably when Ashley kissed his cheek before snuggling against him and relaxing again. "You're gonna be a good daddy, Josh."

"Stop talking and go to sleep, Ashley," Josh grumbled in response, making her giggle.

"Okay, sorry," she replied quickly. She was only silent for about a minute before she piped up with, "Does this mean you're my boyfriend now?"

"Jesus Christ, Ashley," Josh groaned out, shoving her off of him and rolling over to face away from her.

"Sorry, I just-" She tried, making him even less patient.

"If I say yes will you finally go the fuck to sleep?" He snapped irritably.

He rolled his eyes when he heard Ashley giggle. "Yeah, but only if you roll over and hold me again. Boyfriends are supposed to do that."

"Are boyfriends supposed to slit their girlfriend's throat while she sleeps because you and I are getting to that point," Josh warned her as he rolled over and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Ashley buried her face against his chest, letting out a contented sigh as she did so. "One more thing?"

"I'm going to fucking kill you," he groaned out, starting to roll away again.

"No, wait!" She insisted, pulling him back. "I just wanted to say that I'm glad I'm yours instead of Brendon's now. You've always looked out for me, and I never did the same for you, and I'm sorry. I'll try harder now. If there's anything you need from me, just tell me, okay?"

"Okay, well there's one thing," Josh replied.

"Okay!" She replied cheerfully.

"Go to sleep," he told her.

She giggled, grumbling indignantly when he covered her mouth with his hand. He closed his eyes though, allowing himself to relax.

"Goodnight, princess. If you say anything else, you have to walk back home tomorrow," Josh told her before dropping his hand from over his mouth.

Ashley pouted before pressing a kiss to his lips and closing her eyes. He left an arm wrapped around her as he closed his eyes too, finally being able to fully relax. He was almost asleep when his arm was shoved off of Ashley as she shot out of the bed.

"Are you gonna throw up again?" He asked tiredly, pulling his pillow over his head.

"Gotta pee," replied.

"I'm regretting not hitting you," he told her from beneath his pillow, hating himself for smiling slightly when he heard her laugh from the bathroom. "Are you peeing with the door open?" He asked curiously, pulling the pillow away from his eyes.

Ashley giggled from where she was sitting on the toilet, and he laughed too. "Hi, welcome to the wonderful world of being my boyfriend. We no longer have boundaries."

"We had boundaries before? Fuck," Josh commented, making her laugh again.

He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on as she washed her hands before was climbing back into bed with him again, pulling his arms around herself as she burrowed against him.

"Now I'll be quiet," she assured him.

"Thank God," he mumbled, making her giggle as he pulled her closer and closed his eyes again.

He didn't really know why he did it, but he kissed her forehead before resting his head on top of his pillow again. He also didn't know why she felt the need to lay her head on his pillow with him instead of her own, but she was asleep before he could even complain. He sighed, suddenly wide awake.

It took him hours to fall asleep, hours that he spent twisting her hair around his fingers and thinking about all the times he'd sat in her bathroom when they were kids as she'd tried to tame the wild curls sprouting from her head, the time he'd shaved her hair away for her because she wouldn't stop crying about how impossible it was, the time a black lady from church had braided Ashley's hair for her when they were in fifth grade.

He wondered if it was weird to have so many memories involving a person and to not feel anything attached to any of them. Ashley had been such a constant in his childhood that everything had fallen apart when she'd abandoned him for Brendon, yet he still found himself wondering if he'd even care if she died. He sighed, pushing her hair back off of her forehead.

This was why he didn't want a girlfriend. It was too complicated. He didn't know how to pretend he actually liked Ashley. It was easier just to fuck a girl for a while and then leave. He couldn't do that if Ashley was pregnant. He owed her though, didn't he? He was the reason they'd ever had reason to believe she might be pregnant, so maybe the only way to fix it was to give her a baby. Maybe they could really take care of a baby better than their parents had taken care of them.

A thought crossed Josh's mind though, and suddenly, he was shaking Ashley awake. "Mmm?" She mumbled tiredly.

"Ashley, what if the baby's like me?" He asked quickly.

"What?" She asked, her voice still clouded with sleep.

"The baby. What if its brain is like mine?" He asked her.

Ashley yawned, wrapping him up in her arms and kissing his lips softly. "It won't be. We're gonna love our baby a lot, and we're gonna make sure our baby feels too happy and safe to get mean like you or annoying like me," she reassured him. "The baby'll only have our good traits. Promise."

Josh nodded, chewing at the inside of his cheek before resting his head on Ashley's chest and closing his eyes. "Okay," he agreed quietly.

"Our mamas fucked us up, and I'm not gonna be like our mamas," Ashley promised him.

"If you hurt this baby, I'll kill you," he told her seriously.

Ashley kissed the top of his head. "Right back at you. Get some sleep, okay?"

He nodded, but discomfort was rising inside of him again. "Ashley?" He asked tentatively.

"Hm?" She mumbled in return.

"Do you think my dad fucked me up too?" He asked curiously.

Ashley's fingers soothed through his hair. "I think you'd be a serial killer if it wasn't for him."

"Did your dad fuck you up?" Josh pressed.

"Absolutely," she replied. "You're not going to fuck this baby up, Josh. Look at Abbie. If you love this baby even half as much as you love Abbie, we'll never have a problem."

Josh nodded once again, staring at the arm chair across the room. "Do you remember when that lady from church braided your hair to make you stop crying?"

"Yeah. You said I looked dumb," Ashley replied tiredly, still soothing her fingers through his hair.

"I lied," Josh told her.

Ashley laughed. "Well, thank you for your honesty."

Josh smiled slightly before lifting his head to look at her seriously. "Your hair only looks dumb when you try to make it straight. It's not supposed to be straight. This is what God decided you're supposed to look like," he told her.

Ashley smiled slightly. "That was almost nice of you. Thank you."

"What?" Josh asked, not understanding why the question made her laugh.

"Get some sleep, Josh. Everything's going to be fine," Ashley told him calmly, easing his head back down onto her chest. She chuckled then before telling him, "By the way, my mom told me that lady from church is my grandma. She just doesn't know she is."

"No shit?" Josh asked.

"No shit," she confirmed.

Josh hummed, nudging his nose against her throat. "That's explains the hair then."

Ashley snorted. "Shut up, Josh."

He grinned, yawning as he closed his eyes again. "I like your hair."

"Was that an actual compliment?" Ashley asked, seeming surprised.

Josh shrugged lazily, finally feeling himself start to drift off. "Could be," he mumbled.

He slept soundly through the rest of the night, his head resting on Ashley's bare chest. Her hands remained in his hair as she drifted back to sleep as well. The discomfort in Josh's stomach seemed to fizzle out as Ashley's chest rose and fell steadily beneath his cheek. He didn't wake up again in the night, and neither did Ashley, no matter how many times Brendon tried to call her.