The screen flickered with images of smoke-filled skies, a line of soldiers marching in unison, and the sharp, dispassionate voice of the news anchor narrating the chaos.

Reporter: "The battalion, calling themselves the Sons of Themyscira, violently crossed the border into Pokolistan. The Sons are said to be working at the behest of the rogue Amazonian and reputed sorceress, Circe. Circe claims to be the rightful heir to the throne of the perhaps mythical, perhaps real, all-female island nation of Themyscira. Inside sources claim Circe has promised the Sons that once the downfall of Pokolistan is achieved, she will lead them to conquer Themyscira."

The feed cut to footage of two soldiers clad in mismatched uniforms, their faces obscured by helmets, leaning against an armored vehicle.

Goon 1: "I mean, seriously, Themyscira is the sickest place ever. And then you tell me, 'Oh, dude, only women can live there'? (chuckling) What? They're so sexist, bro."

Goon 2: "Word is they have the most incredible waterfalls. I have this question for all the woke feminists out there: why do only girls get such cool waterfalls? All over the world, our rights as men are being denigrated."

Amanda Waller hit the power button on the remote, cutting off the TV with a sharp click.

Rick Flag Sr: "What a bunch of clowns."

Amanda Waller: "Dangerous clowns. Pokolistan is a friend of the U.S."

Rick Flag Sr: "Countries don't have friends."

Amanda Waller: "After your decades in the military, General Flag, I think you'd understand that true friendship is built on petroleum deposits. Especially unmined ones in a backward-ass country that's never taken advantage of their natural resources. Princess Ilana Rostovic, the heir apparent to Pokolistan, is already negotiating with the U.S. for that oil. And if she's overthrown by some nutjob in a witch's hat, all bets are off. We need to help Rostovic."

Rick Flag Sr: "I thought Congress put a stop to all Task Force X activities since your daughter outed you."

Amanda Waller: "Technically, Congress said A.R.G.U.S. can't use incarcerated human beings as mission operatives any longer. But what about beings that aren't human?"

As they walked through the dimly lit corridors of the facility, a loud bang echoed, followed by a guttural growl. Flag turned sharply, his hand instinctively moving toward his weapon, as they passed a reinforced glass cell.

Inside, Max was a frenzy of movement. The straightjacket was shredded, the chains that once bound him lay broken on the floor. He slammed his head against the glass with wild force, his bloodshot eyes fixed on the two figures outside.

Rick Flag Sr: "Jesus!"

Waller barely flinched, her expression a mix of annoyance and indifference.

Amanda Waller: "Oh, for God's sake. He's gotten out of his restraints again."

Rick Flag Sr: "Again?"

Amanda Waller: "Where's his handler? Haruki?"

The answer presented itself in gruesome clarity a moment later as they looked the corner of the cell. Blood smeared the walls, and the tattered remnants of what was once Haruki Shiga littered the floor. Waller sighed.

Amanda Waller: "Well, that answers that question. Haruki always was a little overconfident."

Rick Flag Sr: "A little overconfident? The guy's missing half his body!"

Waller waved him off.

Amanda Waller: "Get used to it. Max is part of your new team."

Flag froze.

Rick Flag Sr: "Wait, what? Team!? Who even is this guy?"

Waller gave him a flat look, as if the answer should have been obvious.

Amanda Waller: "Max Willas, also known as Berserker. Enhanced strength, speed, and aggression. Think of him as the Tasmanian Devil on 30 Red Bulls. He ended up slaughtering his family and half his block in Metropolis before The Authority brought him in."

Flag's mouth opened, then closed again.

Rick Flag Sr: "And you want to put him on my team?"

Amanda Waller: "You'll manage. When Berserker massacred his way through his city, The Authority had to send four of their strongest just to bring him in. Jack Hawksmoor used the city to box him in; Apollo melted the ground under his feet; Midnighter broke both his arms—twice; and The Engineer built his cell before the team even had a chance to breathe. And despite all of that, they barely got him subdued."

The heavy door unlocks with a loud, mechanical groan. Rick Flag Sr. and Amanda Waller step into a sterile observation room overlooking a heavily fortified holding area. Rick stops in his tracks, his eyes widening at the bizarre and chaotic scene unfolding below.

Rick Flag Sr:
"Huh? What in the holy hell?"

Amanda Waller (calmly, almost smug):
"This is the Belle Reve Non-Human Internment Division. For over 50 years, only those at the uppermost levels of security clearance have been aware of its existence."

She steps past him, crossing her arms as she stares down at the odd assortment of prisoners below.

Amanda Waller (cont'd):
"By using these prisoners, I think we can arguably circumvent our new restrictions."

Rick Flag Sr:
"Arguably? How?"

Amanda Waller:
"Congress said we can't use human prisoners. These assholes"—(gestures to the room below)—"aren't human."

Flag approaches the glass, leaning slightly forward as he examines the inmates. The scene below is a surreal mix of eerie and mundane:

The Bride sits against the far wall, flipping through a well-worn magazine, seemingly unbothered by her surroundings. Her patchwork body gives her an unsettling, stitched-together appearance, but she exudes a calm demeanor.

Dr. Phosphorus, his skeletal frame glowing faintly, crouches at a table alongside Blue Man and G.I. Robot, the three of them carefully stacking pieces in a game of Jenga.

Y/N and Nina Mazursky sit close to each other in the corner, sharing a quiet moment, their posture protective.

Weasel is sprawled on the floor, making grotesque licking noises as he tends to his own body in a way that makes Flag grimace.

The Storykeeper sits on his cot, surrounded by scraps of paper and a pen, scribbling furiously in a notebook. Occasionally, he mutters to himself, his focus unbroken.

Flag's gaze darts between the individuals, his incredulity growing with each passing second.

Flag's eyes linger on Y/N, who shifts uncomfortably as Nina gently whispers something to him.

Rick Flag Sr: "What's their story? The kid and the fish-lady?"

Amanda Waller: "Y/N L/N, former civilian turned unfortunate victim of the Septem Malis gauntlet. That gauntlet he's wearing? It makes him powerful enough to fight gods—but it's eating him alive, and every transformation chips away at what's left of his mind. Nina Mazursky is his emotional support. And girlfriend. Not sure what the sex is like, but whatever she's doing, it's working. She's been keeping him grounded... so far."

Flag raises an eyebrow.

Rick Flag Sr: "And when he loses it?"

Amanda Waller: "Just make sure he's pointed in the right direction when he does."

Rick Flag Sr leans closer, his face a mixture of skepticism and disbelief. Below, the prison's strange assortment of inmates move about their routines, each one a misfit in its own bizarre way.

Rick Flag Sr: "She's not human?"

Amanda Waller: "Is a corpse human?"

Flag sighs heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Ge watched as the Bride ripped apart the magazine.

Rick Flag Sr: "Who is she?"

Amanda Waller: "We don't know. We call her The Bride."

Flag glances at her again, his jaw tightening.

Rick Flag Sr: "Helpful." (pauses) "And what about Jason and the Argonauts over there?"

He points to Dr. Phosphorus, who glows faintly as he picks up a Jenga piece and burns it.

Amanda Waller: "A sociopath who calls himself Dr. Phosphorus. His skin's irradiated. Burns through anything or anyone like a hot knife through butter."

Rick Flag Sr: "Well, how does that radiation affect the people around him?"

Amanda Waller: "If you don't sleep in the same room with him, the effects should be minimal."

Rick Flag Sr: "Minimal?"

Amanda Waller (smirking): "Consider it a free vasectomy."

Flag grimaces and quickly changes the subject.

Rick Flag Sr: "Who's the Blue Man Group reject?"

Waller gestures to Blue Man, who cocks his head as he levitates a Jenga block with a flick of his wrist.

Amanda Waller: "The Blue Mam. Your very own ghost. Can float, and phases through anything and everything. He can manipulate anything with color in an urban setting. Billboards, painted walls, even traffic lights become his weapons."

Rick Flag Sr (sarcastic): "Sounds handy at a rave."

His eyes drift to Weasel, who's now gnawing on his own arm.

Rick Flag Sr: "What is that thing?"

Amanda Waller: "The Weasel. One of the few soldiers who survived Project Starfish in Corto Maltese. Ugly as hell, but he has a knack for survival."

Waller notices Flag's expression stiffen at the mention of Corto Maltese. Her tone softens briefly.

Amanda Waller: "Sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything about your son, Flag. When he died in Corto Maltese, he died a hero."

Flag doesn't respond, his face unreadable as he fixes his eyes on the chaotic Weasel below.

Rick Flag Sr: "That one looks like a discontinued dishwasher."

He gestures toward G.I. Robot, who is watching the Jenga tower intently, its metal fingers twitching in anticipation.

Amanda Waller: "That 'dishwasher' killed over 300 Nazis in World War II. I would've dismantled it years ago, but I thought it might come in handy someday. It's known as G.I. Robot."

Suddenly, G.I. Robot mistakes the partially fallen Jenga tower for a swastika. Without hesitation, it lifts its arm and fires a built-in rifle, sending blocks scattering in every direction.

Rick Flag Sr: "Handy."

Flag's attention shifts to Storykeeper, who is busy writing furiously.

Rick Flag Sr: "What's his deal?"

Amanda Waller: "We call him Storykeeper. Obsessed with stories and folklore, with the ability to bring story book characters to life—real, fictional, or anything in between. His power's terrifyingly efficient, but... well, as you can see, he's always off in his own little world."

Flag watches as Storykeeper jots something down with a strange grin before muttering under his breath.

Rick Flag Sr: "And her?"

Flag points to Nina Mazursky, sitting beside Y/N.

Amanda Waller: "Nina Mazursky. Get her in the water, and she's a completely different story. She's the smartest and most reasonable of the bunch. She might be able to help you keep the rest of them in line."

Rick Flag Sr: "Because she's walking around in a fishbowl?"

Amanda Waller: "Because she's the only one in there with the brains and patience not to kill you at the first opportunity."

The two walked down the stairs to a large cell door it slowly opened up. As it opened, an ear-splitting alarm immediately blares through the block.

As it opened, The Bride, Dr. Phosphorus, Blue Man, and Weasel charge straight at them, their screams, snarls, and growls echoing through the room.

Rick Flag Sr instinctively pulls out his gun, aiming it at the oncoming threats.

Amanda Waller calmly reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small remote device. She presses a button, and a sudden surge of electricity rips through the room.

All Prisoners: "AAARRRGH!"

The group collapses mid-charge, their bodies twitching and groaning as the shocks course through them. One by one, they slump to the floor, defeated.

Rick Flag Sr: (stunned) "What the—?!"

Amanda Waller: "Neural implants. Courtesy of the taxpayers. Keeps them manageable."

Rick Flag Sr lowers his weapon, eyeing the unconscious prisoners sprawled across the floor.

Amanda Waller: "This is your new task force, Flag. Let's call it Task Force M. M for Monster. Also known as..."

Creature Commandos

———

Amanda Waller and Rick Flag Sr walk down a sterile, dimly lit hallway. Guards are stationed at every corner, their faces grim as they stand at attention. The faint hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional muffled sound of a prisoner groaning fill the air.

Amanda Waller:
"There's an Osprey waiting to take you directly to the castle to protect Princess Rostovic from Circe and her forces."

As they turn a corner, they see several guards in heavy protective gear surrounding a reinforced gurney. On it lies Max Willis (Berserker), bound tightly in layers of restraints. His mouth is covered with a muzzle, and his arms and legs are chained to the table.

One guard injects him with another syringe, while another adjusts the thick straps holding him down. Max, unconscious, barely stirs, but the tension in the air is palpable.

Rick Flag Sr was about to say something, but Waller beat him to it

Amanda Waller: He's being given enough sedatives to knock out a rhino.

————

The team sits in the dimly lit cabin of the plane, the sound of the roaring engines drowning out any outside noise. Rick Flag Sr stands near the front, holding onto an overhead strap for balance as he addresses the group.

Rick Flag Sr:
"I know you all aren't exactly enthusiastic about this mission. But—"

The Bride:
(groans)

Dr. Phosphorus:
(cutting in) "General, I believe you've read us wrong. We're delighted to be here and delighted to serve our country."

Flag blinks, momentarily unsure.

Rick Flag Sr:
"Okay. Uh, great."

Y/N:
(frowning) "Was that sarcasm?"

Dr. Phosphorus:
(tilting his head, glowing faintly) "Yes."

The Bride:
(narrowing her eyes at him) "Are you smiling?"

Dr. Phosphorus:
"Yes."

The Bride:
"Sarcastically?"

Dr. Phosphorus:
(matter-of-fact) "Mmm-hmm."

Across the cabin, Blue Man, slumped casually in his seat, snickers.

Blue Man:
(leaning forward) "Sarcasm's about all we've got left when we're on a suicide mission led by the 'Monster Brigade.' It's like sending in the B-Team, but instead of backups, you've got a corpse, a weasel, a fish in a bowl, a skinny shy little shrimp, a glow stick, a tin man, a psycho in a metal mask, and a nut job."

The group falls silent, save for the occasional creak of the aircraft. After a pause, Weasel lets out an odd yip.

Rick Flag Sr:
(deadpan) "Appreciate the vote of confidence."

Flag pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh as Nina Mazursky glances at him sympathetically from her seat.

Rick Flag Sr:
"Great. Just great. Teamwork's already off the charts."

Dr. Phosphorus leans back, faint light emanating from his skin casting eerie shadows on the walls. His glowing eyes dart toward Y/N and Nina Mazursky, who are seated side by side.

Dr. Phosphorus:
"So, you and Fishbowl over there... Are you actually together, or is it just prison bonding?"

The sudden question catches Y/N off guard, his eyes widening.

Y/N
"What? No! I mean, well... yes? But, uh... it's not—it's complicated."

Dr. Phosphorus
"Oh, complicated, huh? That's just code for 'yes.'"

Storykeeper:
"They're totally together."

Dr. Phosphorus:
"Though, I've got to ask...what's the sex like?"

The question hits like a grenade. Y/N freezes, his entire face flushing crimson. He stammers, tripping over his words. Nina did the same thing.

Y/N:
(spluttering) "I—I... We—we don't—! That's not—I mean, we haven't—!"

Nina:
"I—uh—it's not like that! I mean, it's not about... that! We're, uh, we're just... we're close, okay?"

Blue Man:
(stern, cutting in) "Enough, Phosphorus."

Dr. Phosphorus:
(chuckling, unrepentant) "What? I'm just curious. It's gotta be fascinating, right? Gills and all..."

Nina:
(practically choking on her words) "W-we haven't even done that!"

The Bride:
(amused,) "He's got a point, though. How would that even work?"

Storykeeper:
"My guess is that they would have to do it in the pool or a bathtub. And I'm guessing he's the top while she's the bottom."

Y/N:
(burying his face in his hands) "Can we please change the subject?"