"Stop, I can't—" I panted, heaving for my breath as Charlie looked down at me, not having broken even a single sweat yet. "I can't handle anymore. I need a break."

"You humans have such low stamina," He said and then shook his head as he helped me up off my row machine, handing me my water bottle which I quickly took and drank from. "You didn't even last twenty minutes."

After drinking about two thirds of my water bottle, I sucked in a loud breath, then exhaled exhaustedly. "Well, that's humans for you, Charlie. We can't all be as strong as you."

He gave me one of his more and more frequent grins and then sat down and took my place on the machine, changing the weight to four times the weight I'd chosen. He then grabbed the handle and begun rowing. "Maybe some day, you will."

I sighed and shook my head, then watched for almost 45 minutes as he rowed with the impossibly heavy weight resistance, until finally, he had broken a sweat as well. He then finished off with 15 minutes of running on the treadmill, whereafter he had gotten about as much sweat on his body as I had from just the one exercise.

I'd decided to join Charlie today for his usual morning marathon, since lately I might've been eating a little more as a coping technique for the sexual frustration I had been dealing with. Charlie took every opportunity he found to pin me against something and kiss the bejesus out of me, but in the end I always stopped it. I didn't know what the hell we were doing, but I for sure knew what we weren't doing. The reason for that became less and less memorable for each day that passed.

And after today, I was ready to diagnose myself with Alzheimer's after having witnessed a shirtless Charlie work his rippling body to shreds. Now, as we both walked out of my exercise room, suckling on our water bottles, I couldn't shake the heat inside my body—and it wasn't heat from the workout.

"I guess I'll see you for breakfast after a shower," I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible while Charlie gave me a glance. "You'll probably finish before me, so—"

Charlie had me up against his door before I could blink, pressing his body against my own and sealing his lips over mine. An embarrassing squeak left me, but then I very literally melted in his grip, moaned and dropped my water bottle as my hands found their way to his shoulders. In a single swoop, he picked me up and then carried me into his bedroom, past his bed, and then into his bathroom. My pulse spiked like a stalagmite.

"Charlie!" I gasped when he put me down on his bathroom floor, lips trailing down my neck, tongue licking at the sweat gathered there. Fuck. "Charlie, w-we can't—"

"Are you saying no?" He murmured, hands skimming down my sides, gripping my hips. They found the aching spot between my legs and cupped it, drawing a whimper from me.

"I'm saying... we can't," I hoarsely choked out as he began rubbing me through the stretchy fabric of my workout pants. Stupid, thin leggings. "We... oh God, we shouldn't..."

"So you're not saying no," Was what he got from that, now moving back to look into my eyes and cup my face. "Do you want me to stop?"

I met his eyes and forgot how to breathe as he looked at me soberly, but with so much lust. Need. "No."

And that was all he needed. He bent down and took my lips again and met my tongue with his own as my lips parted and welcomed him. I couldn't fight him anymore, didn't want to.

We removed each other's sweaty clothes, Charlie rumbling animalistically as my training bra hit the floor. He didn't hesitate to cup my aching breasts and descend his lips on them as we backed into his shower stall, my hands fumbling to turn on the water. I shakily messed with the valves for what seemed like minutes before I finally managed to turn the water on and set it to a comfortable temperature.

Charlie's lips were circling my nipples, his teeth grating them as he pressed me up against the tiled walls and trapped me there. The water cascaded down his back, but he didn't pay attention to it as he finally closed around one of my dusky nipples and sucked. I moaned and arched against him, burying my hands in his wet locks and pulling.

I couldn't explain the feeling that went through me as he lavished my breasts, massaged them and sucked on them until I couldn't breathe. Never before had I thought I could come from just that, but the way Charlie groaned and worked on them with passion brought me so dangerously close I actually thought I would explode. My leg was curling around his prosthesis, the mechanical device surprisingly comfortable to the skin. The roughness and the steel of it somehow turned me on even more and had my breathing turning ragged as he bit down on one nipple and dragged it between his teeth. I almost came just then, but then he pulled back.

The next second his lips slammed against mine again and he pulled me to his body, brought me under the warm spray with him. The water coated our skin and flattened our hair, tickled down our faces as our lips danced. Charlie licked off the droplets on the corner of my lips, then dipped down and plunged his tongue into my mouth again, the same moment my hand sought down between us and found his erect manhood prodding against my belly.

I'd almost forgotten how big he was as I wrapped my hand around him and slowly begun pumping him, letting the water play as lubricant. He groaned throatily against my mouth and let out a hot breath when I rubbed his slit. He shuddered and let his head fall back when I pumped him again, going all the way to his base, back to the top.

"Carly," He moaned and fell back against the back wall of the shower stall, me following him, still gripping him. "Fuck, Carly..."

I let my lips descend to his clavicle bone and gently bit into it while I kept pumping him with my hand, feeling his hips undulate as I gradually sped up and slowed down. I continued to pepper kisses down his chest, licking and biting, until finally, I knelt down in front of him and kissed the crown of his erection, heard the hiss that escaped his lips. I then slowly took him into my mouth, just the tip at first, but then more. Charlie groaned and clenched his fists against the tiles, veins popping up against the skin on his arms. I looked up and found him grinding his teeth with his eyes closed, breathing strained through his mouth.

"Charlie, look at me," I told him and instantly saw as his eyes snapped open and flipped down to me. His magenta orbs were glowing as he watched me kiss his shaft tenderly, then expanded as I took him into my mouth again. I let the underside of his length slide against my tongue and watched as Charlie's eyes rolled back into his head, a groan releasing from his throat.

And then I tasted the first salty nip of his pre-cūm as I let him slide all the way to the back of my throat, bumping it.

"Fuck," He hollered as I begun sliding him back and forth into my mouth faster, feeling his hips jerk off the wall to thrust into my mouth with no abandon. "Carly..."

He fucked my mouth and I loved it, loved when his hand found my hair all by itself and begun guiding me, pressing me down on his impressive length until I almost gagged. When I gurgled he quickly drew me back, but then slammed himself inside me again, groaning when I moaned. The water still pelted down and hit my shoulders and back, but the wetness between my legs had nothing to do with that.

Finally Charlie reached his peak and came with his ever impressive force, shooting his first load down my throat. I struggled to pull back as the next came and filled my mouth to the brink, but Charlie held me there, made me swallow him. And like a bitch, I docilely let him empty himself in my mouth, drip out when I couldn't swallow more. With a last groan, he then unclumped my hair from his fist and fell back against the wall.

He had made a true mess; dripping down my chin and landing on my breasts, his cum licked itself down my skin and only narrowly avoided getting washed away by the water due to the position I was sitting in. I'd learned from our first 'tryst' that Charlie didn't ejaculate modestly like most men, but in fact came like a freaking bottle with an untight cap. The amount of sperm he released simply wasn't humanly possible, which was why as I stood up, covered in it, I wiped my chin and briefly stepped under the spray to wash most of it away, before Charlie came up behind me and encircled me in his arms.

From thereon, I didn't think it could get much better. As Charlie begun lathering up my body in his soap, washing every inch of my skin while kissing me places where apparently soap wasn't enough, I knew there was no going back after this. As he cleaned me and spent extra time and attention to the spot between my legs, I realized he ruined me for other men forever.

Nobody else would feel so good while sliding a finger between my soaked folds to seek out my throbbing clit, no one else could ever stimulate it like him. While he pleasured me to ōrgasm thrice, he simultaneously ruined every chance for any other man after him, and the worst part was, he had no idea. Not even when we stepped out and he wrapped a towel around me, peppering kisses up my neck, swiping away my wet hair.

I was done for. Completely. I was ready to quit my job and run away with Charlie, never to come back, but the face of reality was my slap to why that could never be.

For one, there was no hiding from C.E.N.T.U.R.I.E.S. They were too powerful, too well connected. They would find us wherever we ran to.

Secondly, there was the matter of the chip in Charlie's brain. The one they could kill him with, with just the push of a button.

And lastly, as bargaining chip to stop them from drugging Charlie every month, I had agreed to sign a contract with them that bound me to C.E.N.T.U.R.I.E.S for the next three years. It was impossible to get out of, unless I wanted to lose everything.

My life or his. That was the fine lines of the contract; Either he lost his free mind or I lost my free will.

The choice hadn't even felt like a choice when I had signed. It still didn't as we dried off together and got dressed.

"When can I be inside you?" Charlie asked as we walked down the stairs together, heading for the kitchen to get breakfast. Funnily I both felt starved, yet full to the next millennia. "Please, Carly."

I felt my stomach twist in an emotion I couldn't pinpoint as need or as guilt as we stepped into the kitchen. I opened a cabinet to pull out two plates and a bowl. "I don't know, Charlie. I'm sorry, I just still don't think it's a good idea. The repercussions..."

"I don't care about those," He said and shut the cabinet I was about to open, placing his hand over it. I closed my eyes as I felt him end the space between my back and his front. "I just want to be inside you. I want to become a part of you," His mouth kissed my damp hair and exhaled heavily against it. "I want to feel you and pleasure you the way they did in those videos. I can't explain it, I just... I feel... I feel like I'm going explode if I don't. Carly..." He turned me around and turned my chin up when I tried to look away. "I like you so much, I can't find the words anymore. Please, Carly..."

My throat had all but closed up and my eyes were brimmed with tears. Why did things have to be so complicated? More than anything I wanted him as much as he wanted me, both body and soul, but then afterwards, what? As of one day ago, there was only one month left of our time together; precisely 30 days. We were already way too deeply involved, so what would happen if we took that final step? It would be the last nail in the coffin.

I was scared. Scared of what they'd to to him or to me if they found out. Scared that every time he touched me and kissed me where he shouldn't, someone was watching and would take him away from me. I couldn't lose him. I would never forgive myself if my own foolish desires had doomed all chances of his survival. I would never let them hurt him.

Even if that meant I had to be the one to hurt him instead.

"We... can't," I hoarsely whispered, squeezed my eyes shut and looked away. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. I really am, but we can't. Maybe in another life..."

"But we only have one," He said with a little frown and cupped my face. "And even if we didn't, I don't want you in another life. I want you in this life. As you are right now, human and my Carly."

"Please stop," I whispered, a tear rolling down my chin. I couldn't take this. I couldn't. It was too much, the pain, the heartache. "We can't, okay? We just can't."

His hand dropped and he stepped back, the lack of his warm body leaving me cold. A shiver passed through me and I hugged myself, turned around and tried to continue where I picked up. Breakfast...

"I'll never stop liking you," He said behind me, letting me distract myself with making food while he quietly spoke. "No matter what, I won't stop liking you and what you do to me. Even if we can never mate, just know that I still like you, Carly Bloom."

And with that, he left me alone in the kitchen to cook breakfast.

~~~

I stared at my laptop, at the cursor hovering over the send button on the update I'd written on Charlie. It was exactly five lines long.

Charlie is showing improving maturity and is increasing his vocabulary for every passing day. His health remains at its best, no signs of declining brain function or mental capability.

I had no clue what else there was to write. What else I could write without oversharing what we were doing. I glanced sideways and looked out through my kitchen window, seeing Charlie standing in the yard with a soccer ball. For the past two hours he had been out there, practicing his goals. I watched as he lined the ball up with the plastic net, took a few steps back and then made his kick. The ball flew into the net and tipped over the plastic goal. With a sigh, then he trotted up and lifted it for the millionth time. And then he started over again.

While tedious, his routine reminded me of us. We aligned, then took the leap and hit a goal, but just as quickly as we basked in the joy of winning, we just as quickly tipped over the edge and realized what we were doing wasn't right. Or at least I did. Then we started again, picked ourselves up and tried for another goal. So far, the result had been the same, and again, it was mostly on my behalf.

I felt like I was stringing him along, yet at the same time I was also stringing myself along. Every time I let him kiss me, I gave him hope of us ever becoming something more, but the sword was double-edged.

Because every time I kissed him back, I allowed myself to hope as well. And then the other part of my brain pushed him away and reminded me of why it could never be. Why it was impossible.

I sighed and finally hit send on my laptop, just as Charlie hit another goal. I closed my laptop, then packed it away and stood up, walking into the kitchen. I went up to the door and opened it, stepping out onto the patio. Charlie must've heard the door click, because he turned his head over shoulder and glanced at me. His magenta eyes glowed at me for a moment, but then he looked down.

"It's almost bedtime," I told him, seeing him lift the plastic goal again and steady it on the ground. "Ten more minutes, mkay?"

He nodded wordlessly and then went back to lining up the ball. I watched him for a moment as he took a run, then kicked the ball and hit goal again. Dead center.

I sighed again. I might as well have been sigh-machine. After this morning, I hadn't been doing much else than just that. It would be wrong to say I was growing a depression, but I was definitely growing a complex. Charlie was the forbidden fruit and... well, I should change my name to Eve.

I went back inside again, climbed the stairs to my room. I started my own routine, scrubbing off my makeup and brushing my teeth, before changing into my jammies, my usual boxer-shorts and plain top. I was climbing into bed when I heard the footsteps on the stairs. I closed my eyes and listened with a held breath as he took the turn and... walked to his own bedroom. I exhaled heavily when the door closed.

That was that. What did I expect? That after rejecting him for the... fortieth time, he would still want to climb into my bed and hold me until he fell asleep? Yeah, long shot.

It was my own doing and it was for the best. Would I miss the warmth of his body pressed up against mine? Yes. Would I miss his kisses and the way he snuggled closer to me whenever I accidentally moved too far away? Probably yes as well. These were the sacrifices I'd happily make for his safety.

But what I would selfishly miss the most, I knew, was waking up to him. Opening my eyes and seeing him still there, still holding me, unlike any other man whom had been lucky enough to stay over in my bed. Which was the grand number of about four. It wasn't a deliberate comparison, but when you had never really woken up to a man cuddling you, a man whom you had given your body to the night before, it was a heart clenching experience to find Charlie lying right there, his purple eyes so gorgeous when he opened them and saw me there, too, still in his arms.

That was what I would miss, I thought to myself as I curled myself up on my bed to go to sleep.

However, it couldn't have been more than an hour of tossing and turning before I felt a heavy dip in my mattress and a warm body scoot up to mine. A soft hand grazed my cheek and then a pair of lips kissed it, before a deep, soft voice spoke in my ear. "You didn't think I wouldn't come, did you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut as he settled behind me, sighing contently as he buried his nose in my hair. "I... I wasn't sure. This isn't right either, it would've been best if you hadn't..." But I was such a hypocrite. Like I hadn't been contemplating sneaking into his room for the past hour and snuggling up to him.

"Would you have been able to fall asleep then?" He murmured.

My chest twisted when it came to terms with the truth. "No."

"Me neither." He tightened his arm around me and kissed my shoulder. He pulled me closer and I eased into his embrace, feeling my tense muscles unclench as his soothing warmth once again calmed me. It wasn't easy to fight him when he had that effect on me. It just wasn't fair.

"Charlie..." I turned around in his arms and looked up at him, seeing his tired eyes open and look down at me, softly glowing in the dark. "I'm sorry for all of this pain I'm causing you. I know I'm not being reasonable. Saying no to one thing, but saying yes to another."

"I don't care," He slowly cupped my head and pulled my face up to his, so closely his lips nearly touched mine as he spoke. "I don't care at all, Carly. I'll take what I can get. I'll kiss you the times you'll let me and I'll hold you every night you leave your door unlocked. I'll let you pull back when you want to, and I'll let you reject me over and over again until you'll no longer let me come back. I don't care, because I like you, Carly. I like you so much."

And with that, he kissed my lips softly and strangled the words that laid on the tip of my tongue, the tears that rested in the corners of my eyes. He muted them both with just a slow, deep kiss, before he pulled back and closed his eyes. Moments later, he was asleep.

And I had almost said it. The words I still hadn't taught him, but the words he on some level already felt.

I love you.

But I didn't say them.

Instead I fell asleep in his arms and let the words echo in my dreams.

• • •

Merry Christmas Eve.